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  • FIRST POST
    • shaggydoo
    • By shaggydoo 8th Apr 19, 7:52 AM
    • 7,943Posts
    • 58,969Thanks
    shaggydoo
    Giving up/ Cutting Down Alcohol Thread Part 16
    • #1
    • 8th Apr 19, 7:52 AM
    Giving up/ Cutting Down Alcohol Thread Part 16 8th Apr 19 at 7:52 AM
    Welcome. Here we are again, time for a new thread, new starts and new challenges.

    Let's take a trip down memory lane and remind ourselves of In Search Of Me's (ISOM) original post in Part 1:

    24th February 2008

    Quote:
    In Search Of Me "There are a few of us who want to give up/cut down & I thought it would be good to widen the net to support each other along the way!
    For me alch & feeling good for the time I'm drinking & then rubbish after go hand in hand. A bit like drinking & smoking & drinking & getting the munchies! Last year I gave up alch & fags for 10 months & then "slipped" towards Christmas until by Jan I was doing both with alarming regularity. I dread to think how much both cost me financially and I know physically that I've felt rubbish. My lungs hurt, have put on weight & literally none of my clothes fit so I will have to buy more - which means a dent in my budget that I can ill afford. My skin is also yukky & much nicer when I dont drink/smoke!
    I had my last ciggies the night before last & last wine on Tues. I know I will feel 100% better when I crack it but also know it will be hard. One disadvantage here is that all too often DFW "parties" tend to involve alcohol so I'm also hoping that this can possibly be a safe haven for those of us who want, or need, to abstain, for now at least!
    Anway - I hope that this can be a place of real support for people who are sturggling. I do wonder whether there is a link between debt & drinking as from the Jan thread it was obvious that so many struggle to give up! Plus I know for me that I feel much hapier and in control when I dont drink (or drink in moderation) - which of course begs the question "why do I do it?"! Anyway, I do but will now try not t ad hope some of you wil join in. Some days I know I wil fail, just as I do with my debt free journey and I am more than happy to be given a swift (but nice!) kicking when I do! Hugs all and dare I say... but this time with water!!
    And here's what she started!!! :


    Part 14 and 15 is Here

    Part 13 is Here

    Part 12 is HERE

    Part 11 is HERE

    Part 10 is HERE

    Part 9 is HERE

    Part 8 is HERE

    Part 7 is HERE

    Part 6 is HERE

    Part 5 is HERE

    Part 4 is HERE

    Part 3 is HERE

    Part 2 is HERE

    and the original starting thread is HERE

    Here is a post from back on thread 1 or 2.

    Springwatch Girl Well, week 5 of no alcohol and I see a different person in the mirror. My eyes no longer look dull and vacant, they actually have a little sparkle and my skin doesn't look like uncooked pastry anymore. I feel that I have won a battle but not yet the war. Hope everyone else is at the point they want to be, I never want to be that person I was, I have been tempted but I just think back to what I had become. The sun is shining at the moment and I feel good and want to continue to have the sun in my life"
    Good Luck Everyone!

    Shaggyx
    Last edited by shaggydoo; 08-04-2019 at 8:03 AM.
    What do we do when we fall? We get up, dust ourselves off and start walking in the right direction again. Perhaps when we fall, it is easy to forget there are people along the way who help us stand and walk with us as we get back on track.
Page 66
    • sukeyboo
    • By sukeyboo 12th Aug 19, 3:03 PM
    • 1,093 Posts
    • 8,252 Thanks
    sukeyboo
    6/12 for today please Shaggy
    • Barny1979
    • By Barny1979 12th Aug 19, 4:34 PM
    • 4,953 Posts
    • 50,001 Thanks
    Barny1979
    3/24 AFDs today
    2013 - 313 AFDs, 2014 - 289 AFDs, 2015 - 321 AFDs, 2016 - 276 AFDs, 2017 - 276 AFDs, 2018 - 240 AFDs
    MFW Challenge 2019 - £550/£1809
    • 3Catssooz
    • By 3Catssooz 12th Aug 19, 5:04 PM
    • 3 Posts
    • 23 Thanks
    3Catssooz
    Hi
    Sorry for going Awol, especially after the very warm welcome. Glad to see everyone is doing well.
    I however am not.
    I haven't had any AF days at all, and in fact it has increased due to having beer in the summer as well as wine.
    Had a Birthday, lovely lunch with DD, wine was drunk - quite a few -then came home and had more :-(
    I wasn't safe to drive the next day.
    I am ashamed and need to stop, I don't seem to be able to moderate.
    Spoke to a very dear friend the day after the overindulgence, her husband, (who has passed away) had a drinking problem. She said I need a plan. I know I do, but what? How can I stop this destructive behaviour??
    I will log on more often to help beat this thing, as many people said this is an invaluable place to be.
    Thank you for reading.
    • Wanna Bee Free
    • By Wanna Bee Free 13th Aug 19, 5:30 AM
    • 1,426 Posts
    • 12,964 Thanks
    Wanna Bee Free
    3/16 for me last night.

    Hi there 3Catssooz

    I just wanted to say howdy and thanks for coming back on here to post again. I think we can all empathise on here. I hope you find coming on here more often is helpful. It's hard not to but try wnd be kind to yourself today rather than beating yourself up. Big hugs from me. As you can see from my totals I don't have all the answers but welcome back!

    PS I love your username!
    Save 12K in 2019 #12 - £7,500/£12,000
    Cutting Down Alcohol: 62/150 A7|J3|J5|M10|A13|M10|F6|J8
    2018:86|2017:106|2016:83
    • marahouti
    • By marahouti 13th Aug 19, 7:33 AM
    • 114 Posts
    • 887 Thanks
    marahouti
    12/22 please Shaggy.
    Welcome 3Cats.
    X
    • arsenalbarnie
    • By arsenalbarnie 13th Aug 19, 8:02 AM
    • 411 Posts
    • 2,836 Thanks
    arsenalbarnie
    6/17 please. Bliss, slept like a baby.
    Weight lost 25.5lbs. Afds August 7/17.
    • Arkers
    • By Arkers 13th Aug 19, 8:10 AM
    • 913 Posts
    • 7,007 Thanks
    Arkers
    Good morning everyone,
    Welcome 3Cats, I'm not feeling great as a result of meds I'm taking this is for the long haul so not good. I suspect I will have to give it another month before Dr's will look at changing.
    10 please Shaggy
    Arkers x
    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 13th Aug 19, 8:32 AM
    • 5,790 Posts
    • 56,726 Thanks
    Honey Bear
    Another AF weekend reeled off.
    Units of alcohol: 0
    Litres of ice cream consumed: about 437
    Originally posted by Season of Mist


    I am ashamed and need to stop, I don't seem to be able to moderate.
    Spoke to a very dear friend the day after the overindulgence, her husband, (who has passed away) had a drinking problem. She said I need a plan. I know I do, but what? How can I stop this destructive behaviour??
    I will log on more often to help beat this thing, as many people said this is an invaluable place to be.
    Thank you for reading.
    Originally posted by 3Catssooz
    (((Hugs))) 3 Cats Sooz. I feel your pain because not long ago that was exactly how I felt.

    Your friend is right. Expecting to carry on living day to day life exactly as you do now and hoping that willpower alone will be enough isn't A Plan. It's how most people behave though and then can't understand why they find taking back control from the effect of booze over their lives doesn't seem to be working.

    Other people can tell you what worked for them, but only you can decide or know what's right for you. There are masses of options. Do you get the most from yourself by talking to people who've succeeded, or do you work best on your own? Do you enjoy reading? Are you an active person? Do you use the internet happily and enjoy it?

    Those are just some of the questions that might point you in the right direction. I'm not a fan of Alcoholics Anonymous but some people swear by it. It's useful to know where your local group(s) meet and think about whether going to meetings might help you - it wouldn't have been the right answer for me and I'm not advocating it, just a place to start thinking through your options.

    If you enjoy reading, do you read blogs or books by people who are stopping drinking, or have stopped? Are you a member of your local library and do they have books written by people about stopping?

    Does your social life revolve entirely around alcohol? Do you do any sport?

    Have you considered stopping for a week / a month / only drinking on weekends, only drinking on high days and holiday?

    I read and read and read and read and read during the first few weeks, starting with these old threads (see Page 1 for links to all of them). It was all I had the energy to do because stopping suddenly meant that I wasn't getting the same amount of sugar into my system and felt exhausted for the first couple of weeks. Reading was about the only thing I could do!

    It works, though, having A Plan. When you've decided how you're going to tackle this horrible feeling of being out of control, then it becomes The Plan because it's yours and yours alone. Everyone needs something slightly different that they believe in, in order to succeed at this. Knowing how you're going to tackle social situations (I avoided as many as possible for the first three months) needs to be part of The Plan, because there will be pressure on you to, 'Go on, just have one' and from my perspective actually, it would have and I'm really, really glad I didn't.

    Good luck with it.

    I'm not feeling great as a result of meds I'm taking this is for the long haul so not good. I suspect I will have to give it another month before Dr's will look at changing.
    Originally posted by Arkers
    (((Hugs))) Arkers. Sorry it's not going smoothly at the moment. I hope the drugs situation resolves itself really soon. Have you got a post-surgery follow up appointment when you can discuss it?

    13/31 please, Shaggy.
    Last edited by Honey Bear; 13-08-2019 at 8:37 AM.
    Keeping it AF
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 13th Aug 19, 9:08 AM
    • 3,940 Posts
    • 16,708 Thanks
    cathybird
    Morning all, 12/21 for me today.

    Arkers, so sorry to hear you're not feeling well - I hope you feel better very soon xx

    3Catsooz, it's actually really good that you came back to post, as a lot of people who are struggling don't! I can vouch for the helpfulness of this thread, and posting every day, even if you haven't managed an AFD and feel you have failed.
    I found the thing that was most helpful in cutting back was taking it a day or even a few minutes at a time and when I had the urge to drink thinking "not yet" or "not now, if I still feel like this tomorrow, then I can drink then". So rather than thinking that I couldn't drink, I would think I was simply postponing it a little bit - an hour or two, or a day. Then tomorrow rolls round and you repeat the process of postponing a bit. The urge does pass. Also, it helps if you've got people around you on board and they know not to make booze readily available. It's hard to resist when it's right in front of you. I do have drink in the house but it tends to be upstairs where I have to root round a bit behind things to dig it out. That helps too. And post on here every day! If I post in the morning that it will be an AFD it puts a mental block in place re drinking later. If you leave it undecided, or don't post, it's easier to give in to temptation. The best of luck and I'm sure you can make changes xxx
    15 in Save 12K: £6,327.35/£12K. ANSDs: 6/10 Tilly: £1,820.94
    August AFDs: 14/21 2019 AFDs: 197/260 2018: 303/260
    • maman
    • By maman 13th Aug 19, 9:58 AM
    • 20,215 Posts
    • 120,503 Thanks
    maman
    Sorry to hear that the medication isn't agreeing with you arkers? How long before a month is up.

    Hi
    Sorry for going Awol, especially after the very warm welcome. Glad to see everyone is doing well.
    I however am not.
    Originally posted by 3Catssooz
    Well done for posting cats. That's a start. It means you really do want to do something about your drinking. The others are right that everyone has to work out their own way of doing things. Most of us find that having some (or all) alcohol free days is helpful. We have had posters who counted units so they could quantify cutting down in a different way.

    Whatever you decide definitely won't be easy. When I first started I had to have a glass of something (generally water) constantly with me and found myself pacing about unable to think of anything else but that I'd really fancy a drink. I didn't post my AFDs until very late at night just before I went to bed because I couldn't trust myself not to cave. One thing that helped me was to get out of the house and do an activity that didn't involve drinking. I went to a dance class on a Monday which got my week off to a good start.

    They're all ideas but you must try something (anything) that fits your own lifestyle. Whatever you decide, you'll get plenty of support on here.
    • sukeyboo
    • By sukeyboo 13th Aug 19, 10:10 AM
    • 1,093 Posts
    • 8,252 Thanks
    sukeyboo
    Welcome back 3catssooz - well done for coming back and posting - as Cathybird said, when you are struggling it is a real achievement to come on here and admit to it. I think most of us have been there at some point and we are all here to support each other

    Sorry to hear the meds aren't agreeing with you Arkers - hope you feel better soon.

    7/12 for today please Shaggy
    • Barny1979
    • By Barny1979 13th Aug 19, 12:15 PM
    • 4,953 Posts
    • 50,001 Thanks
    Barny1979
    4/24 AFDs today
    2013 - 313 AFDs, 2014 - 289 AFDs, 2015 - 321 AFDs, 2016 - 276 AFDs, 2017 - 276 AFDs, 2018 - 240 AFDs
    MFW Challenge 2019 - £550/£1809
    • arsenalbarnie
    • By arsenalbarnie 13th Aug 19, 3:50 PM
    • 411 Posts
    • 2,836 Thanks
    arsenalbarnie
    Sorry you’re feeling rough Arkers.

    3catssooz I feel your pain. Is there a certain time of day you need to get through when ‘the bells are ringing?’. I find late afternoon I will start to look forward to a drink while getting the dinner ready. Have overcome this a bit some days by preparing most of it in the mornings. I agree baby steps and taking it minute by minute to start with. Good luck and keep posting.
    Weight lost 25.5lbs. Afds August 7/17.
    • rosy10
    • By rosy10 13th Aug 19, 6:14 PM
    • 116 Posts
    • 662 Thanks
    rosy10
    welcome back 3catssooz! Keep posting away - I find that the thread keeps the AF-ness at the forefront of my thoughts if I post regularly. You will find what works for you.

    Wishing that you are soon on the mend, Arkers. It's no fun at all trying to adjust to medication - I hope you are resting as much as you can.

    Maman, did I read correctly that it was your wedding anniversary today? Many congratulations!!!

    11/TF, please Shaggy.
    • AnnieG
    • By AnnieG 14th Aug 19, 12:01 AM
    • 756 Posts
    • 5,479 Thanks
    AnnieG
    Hello
    I'm smashing August, already on 10/18
    I'm starting to see results from my fitness program, my face is much thinner, which is a great incentive to keep going.
    Arkers I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with the drugs, sending my best wishes
    Say what you mean.. mean what you say... without being mean.
    • Wanna Bee Free
    • By Wanna Bee Free 14th Aug 19, 5:52 AM
    • 1,426 Posts
    • 12,964 Thanks
    Wanna Bee Free
    4/16 for me last night please Shaggy. I'm planning to be AF tonight too.

    It wasn't tricky last night although I noticed both myself and OH very tired and going to bed much earlier.
    Save 12K in 2019 #12 - £7,500/£12,000
    Cutting Down Alcohol: 62/150 A7|J3|J5|M10|A13|M10|F6|J8
    2018:86|2017:106|2016:83
    • marahouti
    • By marahouti 14th Aug 19, 6:30 AM
    • 114 Posts
    • 887 Thanks
    marahouti
    13/22 please Shaggy. X
    Arkers I am sorry that you are not feeling well, hope you feel better soon and the meds do what they're supposed to. X
    Maman happy anniversary for yesterday, hope you both had a super day. X
    • Arkers
    • By Arkers 14th Aug 19, 7:42 AM
    • 913 Posts
    • 7,007 Thanks
    Arkers
    Good morning everyone,
    Thanks so much for all your good wishes I feel slightly embarrassed that I had a bit of a self-pity wallow. It's noting more than 1000's of women go through on a daily basis mine has just been chemically induced and there is little I can do about it. However I felt the love from you guys yesterday, and for that I feel better.

    Maman happy anniversary, I hope you had a lovely day.
    11 please Shaggy x
    It looks like my targets are quite good so far this month, but when I do drink I feel I am drinking way too much, almost as if I give myself permission to go for it as I've not had a drink over the week. I must give some thought to this area, as binge drinking is not a good thing.

    Have a good day everyone despite the weather.
    Arkers x
    Last edited by Arkers; 14-08-2019 at 12:51 PM.
    • arsenalbarnie
    • By arsenalbarnie 14th Aug 19, 8:06 AM
    • 411 Posts
    • 2,836 Thanks
    arsenalbarnie
    Hope whatever you’re having to take you will gradually tolerate Arkers.

    7/16 for yesterday please Shaggy.
    Weight lost 25.5lbs. Afds August 7/17.
    • maman
    • By maman 14th Aug 19, 8:17 AM
    • 20,215 Posts
    • 120,503 Thanks
    maman
    Well done on the fitness programme annie. Being AF definitely helps and I think it's good to have an activity that doesn't involve drinking.

    Thanks for all your good wishes. DH and I had a lovely day. Feeling a bit meh this morning. I'm not hungover exactly just perhaps too much rich food on top of weeknight booze.

    Back on the wagon today.

    9/10 AFDs please Shaggy

    (Sorry but can't get colour to work)
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