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    • bobwilson
    • By bobwilson 14th Jun 19, 12:15 PM
    • 555Posts
    • 182Thanks
    bobwilson
    Day in the Life of Bob - hiring a weekly cleaner
    • #1
    • 14th Jun 19, 12:15 PM
    Day in the Life of Bob - hiring a weekly cleaner 14th Jun 19 at 12:15 PM
    Here's the latest update to my life.

    I live in an area where there isn't enough supply to meet demand for basic services e.g. cleaning my home. I know, I know, the irony of us Brits wanting to stop immigrants who offer basic services, when none of us want to do the jobs ourselves. Oh life.

    After months of searching for cleaners and finding they're all fully booked, I finally found a cleaning company in my area willing to "select" me as one of their customers, since I live closer to one of their cleaners. Such fun.

    Not ideal mind you, since I wanted an independent cleaner - not a company. Oh well. They assured us "We have full insurance in case anything gets damaged".. Okay.. here goes...

    - Cleaner arrives while I'm at work, and twists the yale lock in the wrong direction for ages, and instead of trying the correct direction (clockwise), she gives up and I see her on CCTV walking off without calling me.

    - I contact said cleaner company & they advise "she did clean", "no she didn't", I say. Eventually, they believe me & instruct her on how to operate a standard Yale lock on a house.

    - Cleaner turns up the following week, and the same thing occurs. Instead of using the clockwise direction, she proceeds to trying to FORCE the key in an anti clockwise direction repeatedly, eventually jamming the lock & somehow damaging it. This is quite a feat since I haven't managed to damage a Yale lock in like.. well.. forever. If she has this strength she must be an amazing cleaner!

    - I rush out of work to let her in before she disappears again. I catch her walking down the street, and show her how to turn a key in a clockwise direction. "I DID! I DID!", she says.

    - She then proceeds to use the wrong spray on the glass shower screen, so it doesn't clean up the limescale. I show her she needs to use a spray with something like vinegar in it to clean limescale. I demostrate for her & the limescale is gradually removed. She argues back "NO NO NO!! MY SPRAY IS PROFESSIONAL! IT IS FOR PROFESSIONALS!"... me: "It says 'for professionals' on it because it's cheaper to buy in bulk. That doesn't mean it necessarily works better on all surfaces.". Seemingly she didn't accept nor understand, and I gave up- having a cleaner who refuses to use limescale spray is still better than nothing.

    A few weeks later, she spilled toilet bleach on some shelves & damaged the wood. We contacted the cleaning company who were "fully insured against damage!"... and the conversation went something like this :

    Me: "Hello. Your cleaner accidentally damaged our shelves by spilling toilet bleach on them, and she also left the damaged toilet bleach bottle on top of one of the shelves, so it poured out for days. The wood has expanded & the shelf needs to be replaced. It's important she doesn't store strong chemicals on our wooden shelves. Can you make a claim on your damage insurance please?"

    Cleaning company manager: "SHE DIDN'T DO DAT!"

    Me: "err.. sorry?"

    Him: "SHE DIDN'T!!!!!"

    Me: "Have you spoken with her?"

    Him: " 'OLD ON I'LL ASK HER"

    [pause]

    HIM: "YEAH SHE SAYS SHE DIDN'T!!!!! IT MUST'VE BEEN YOURSELF MATE"

    Me: "It wasn't me. It was her."

    HIM: "WELL MAYBE IT WAS A GUEST THEN BUT IT WASN'T HER"

    Me: "I haven't had any guests, and the only person who uses those shelves, is her. Can you claim on insurance?"

    HIM: "SHOW US PROOF DEN!"

    Me: "What kind of proof do you require?"

    HIM: "PROOVE TO US SHE DID IT!!!!!"

    Me: "Well, I don't have CCTV in every room of the house if that's what you're asking for."

    HIM: "WELL DATS WOT WE NEED! A VIDEO TO PROOVE IT!"

    Me: "Perhaps you should mention that you require every room to have CCTV from all angles before advertising the fact you have damage insurance for your cleaners."

    HIM: "YOU NEED TO PROOVE IT MATE"

    Me: "Yes, you said that. Thank you. I'll have to spend 150 having the shelves replaced myself then. Please cancel your cleaner and return the key."

    HIM: "YOU CAN COME TO THE OFFICE [a long distance away] TO COLLECT THE KEY MATE"

    Me: "Just post it to me please."

    HIM: "NO WE DON'T DO DAT FOR SECURITY REASONS!!!!!"

    Me: "Well it's inconvenient for me to have to drive for 2 hours round trip to pick up a key. I accept liability if you'll just post it via first class please. We've never lost any post at this address in the past."

    HIM: "NO!!!!!"

    Me: "Ask your cleaner to put it through the letterbox when she's next in the area then. I'm away for the next few weeks."

    HIM: "I'LL POST IT RECORDED DELIVERY"

    Me: "That would require a signature & picking up from the sorting office, which I can't do whilst away. Please either put it through the letter box or post it first or even second class."

    He then posts the key via special delivery while I was away, and sent me an email "WE POSTED IT BUT YOU WEREN'T IN SO IT GOT RETURNED!!!!! I'LL COME THERE AN MEET U MYSELF WIV DA KEY, I WANNA MEET U ANYWAY TO BE HONEST MATE!!!!!"

    I didn't fancy the idea of having my face punched in by him, so politely declined on his idea to meet me, and repeatedly asked to have it put through the letterbox.

    It is now months later & I'm still fighting to have the key returned.

    I love this life
Page 3
    • bobwilson
    • By bobwilson 26th Jun 19, 3:50 PM
    • 555 Posts
    • 182 Thanks
    bobwilson
    You seem to be missing the point, the reason i'm saying your delusional is because you seem to think you have experienced a lot in your life that is out of the usual but in reality that isn't true. You seem to have lived a pretty normal life but have some kind of need to feel like you have had a more unique and interesting life than other people.

    I suggest you get out more and talk to more people, almost everyone will have a story in their life as interesting as your most interesting story. Then maybe you will get some perspective once you realise your life isn't that unique.
    Originally posted by Takmon
    The irony of informing someone their life is "pretty normal", when you know almost nothing about them, is apparently wasted on you

    Thank you for the compliment though, I really wish it were true
    • onwards&upwards
    • By onwards&upwards 26th Jun 19, 4:26 PM
    • 714 Posts
    • 1,437 Thanks
    onwards&upwards
    The fact you think this is comparable to winning the jackpot on euromillions or being chased across the country by a serial killer is either depressing or illustrates which one of us is delusional

    Carry on de-railing the thread
    Originally posted by bobwilson

    Do you think people are impressed? Or that they warm to you when you talk like this?

    What did you squander your jackpot win on?
    • Takmon
    • By Takmon 26th Jun 19, 4:30 PM
    • 688 Posts
    • 674 Thanks
    Takmon
    The irony of informing someone their life is "pretty normal", when you know almost nothing about them, is apparently wasted on you

    Thank you for the compliment though, I really wish it were true
    Originally posted by bobwilson
    Well you have posted a lot of information on here and surely if you had anything to add that would show you have had a life that "makes you more experienced than most" you would have posted it by now to prove me wrong.

    You seem to have some need to feel superior to everyone else. You must be past retirement age yet have to have the inconvenience of two lodgers living in your home because you have no money to make ends meet. Even though you won a large amount of money on the EuroMillions in the last 15 years so you must have squandered it all!. If you were as experienced at life as you suggest you would be living a life of luxury now and not bunked up with two strangers in your own home.

    But please tell us more
    • bobwilson
    • By bobwilson 26th Jun 19, 4:31 PM
    • 555 Posts
    • 182 Thanks
    bobwilson
    Do you think people are impressed? Or that they warm to you when you talk like this?

    What did you squander your jackpot win on?
    Originally posted by onwards&upwards
    In fact, I haven't said anything about what I've been through in life, and I don't think it's right to poke fun of others based on speculation about what their lives are like. I welcome constructive criticism based on facts, but speculative insults only results in making others feel bad, which is unnecessary- you have no idea what others might be going through at any time from an online forum & how personally they might take the insults.
    • bobwilson
    • By bobwilson 26th Jun 19, 4:34 PM
    • 555 Posts
    • 182 Thanks
    bobwilson
    Well you have posted a lot of information on here and surely if you had anything to add that would show you have had a life that "makes you more experienced than most" you would have posted it by now to prove me wrong.
    Originally posted by Takmon
    Do you think if someone were really chased by a serial killer or other life-changing events that they'd talk about it on an online forum? I wouldn't!
    • Takmon
    • By Takmon 26th Jun 19, 4:59 PM
    • 688 Posts
    • 674 Thanks
    Takmon
    In fact, I haven't said anything about what I've been through in life, and I don't think it's right to poke fun of others based on speculation about what their lives are like. I welcome constructive criticism based on facts, but speculative insults only results in making others feel bad, which is unnecessary- you have no idea what others might be going through at any time from an online forum & how personally they might take the insults.
    Originally posted by bobwilson
    If you didn't want criticism you shouldn't have come on here claiming you have a more experienced life than most people on here trying to make out your life is some how superior.

    If you come on here making claims like that after posting very mundane stories about your life then you have to expect to be called out on it.

    Do you think if someone were really chased by a serial killer or other life-changing events that they'd talk about it on an online forum? I wouldn't!
    Originally posted by bobwilson
    People have published books and promoted them in the media about truly horrific events such as being sexually abused as a child.

    Posting anonymously on a forum about being chased by a serial killer as an adult sounds like a pretty reasonable thing to write about in comparison.
    • Robisere
    • By Robisere 26th Jun 19, 6:23 PM
    • 2,741 Posts
    • 3,709 Thanks
    Robisere
    I am told that I have lived an extraordinarily eventful life, by family and friends. Looking back, I suppose I have, but I don't feel the need to expose it all here. Or anywhere else, come to that. For one thing, it would take up far too much time and space.

    But it is also my life. No one else needs to know the (occasionally sordid) details!

    But carry on Bob, I may return to your boring diary at some point.
    I think this job really needs
    a much bigger hammer.
    • onwards&upwards
    • By onwards&upwards 26th Jun 19, 6:29 PM
    • 714 Posts
    • 1,437 Thanks
    onwards&upwards
    I am told that I have lived an extraordinarily eventful life, by family and friends. Looking back, I suppose I have, but I don't feel the need to expose it all here. Or anywhere else, come to that. For one thing, it would take up far too much time and space.
    Originally posted by Robisere
    • happyandcontented
    • By happyandcontented 27th Jun 19, 12:58 PM
    • 2,073 Posts
    • 4,492 Thanks
    happyandcontented
    The fact you think this is comparable to winning the jackpot on euromillions or being chased across the country by a serial killer is either depressing or illustrates which one of us is delusional

    Carry on de-railing the thread
    Originally posted by bobwilson
    Thank you, I think where I am taking it is much more interesting!

    It is not about comparability, it is about everyone having anecdotes/incidents/adventures/issues/achievements/sordid details/failings which are worthy of note, interesting, or both.

    If you believe your life to be more than any of the above, write a book, earn back that Euro Millions win that seems to have slipped away.....
    Last edited by happyandcontented; 27-06-2019 at 1:19 PM.
    • pollypenny
    • By pollypenny 27th Jun 19, 1:08 PM
    • 26,256 Posts
    • 69,395 Thanks
    pollypenny
    I have visions of a self-published tome! The thread reminds me of a guy around here, in fact I suspected it was he!
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
    • bobwilson
    • By bobwilson 27th Jun 19, 3:18 PM
    • 555 Posts
    • 182 Thanks
    bobwilson
    I am told that I have lived an extraordinarily eventful life, by family and friends. Looking back, I suppose I have, but I don't feel the need to expose it all here. Or anywhere else, come to that. For one thing, it would take up far too much time and space.

    But it is also my life. No one else needs to know the (occasionally sordid) details!

    But carry on Bob, I may return to your boring diary at some point.
    Originally posted by Robisere
    Me too- that's why I don't expose it all on here. I only talk about trivial things. It can be therapeutic! If you don't want to read you certainly don't have to.
    • bobwilson
    • By bobwilson 27th Jun 19, 3:21 PM
    • 555 Posts
    • 182 Thanks
    bobwilson
    Are you a blogger Bob?

    You could write a book, in your spare time :-)
    Originally posted by missile
    I don't think anyone would read it!
    Originally posted by bobwilson
    I would
    Originally posted by mattyprice4004
    You might be my only reader!
    Last edited by bobwilson; 27-06-2019 at 3:24 PM.
    • bobwilson
    • By bobwilson 27th Jun 19, 3:54 PM
    • 555 Posts
    • 182 Thanks
    bobwilson
    People have published books and promoted them in the media about truly horrific events such as being sexually abused as a child.
    Originally posted by Takmon
    Only once the threat of abuse is over.

    Posting anonymously on a forum about being chased by a serial killer as an adult sounds like a pretty reasonable thing to write about in comparison.
    Originally posted by Takmon
    Nothing is truly anonymous, it's possible to find out who someone is in the details & if any of us were being hunted by a serial killer I very much doubt we'd talk about it online until the threat was over- especially if you were under police protection or had a change of identity.

    Just to be clear, I'm not hunted by a serial killer, didn't win the jackpot, and I don't think the stories I tell here are superior or comparable to someone being sexually abused! Just because I may or may not have more interesting stories to tell doesn't mean I can or will talk about it.

    Just because a girl moans about her boss or complains about trivial things doesn't mean she hasn't dealt with bigger issues in her life- perhaps she used to be a man and had a sex change, was cut off by her family & friends and had to start a new life with no one in it. Perhaps she witnessed a mercy killing by a drug lord after mistaking a warehouse for the address of a car repair shop at 9pm in an abandoned estate and was chased down the street by three men with weapons.

    You're welcome to read my mundane stories or not, as you so wish, and I make no claims that they're a demonstration that my life is superior! I think there's great solace in simplifying ones life to a point where you're not exposed to these situations as often. That doesn't mean that person's life is inferior- if anything, it's superior! There's no insult intended by my stories & if everyone wants me to stop then perhaps I will?

    I'm sure someone will come along & take offence at the above words- but what I'm trying to say is I intend no offence, I don't think my life is superior, and I'm sorry if you thought it came across that way.
    • Mickey seabright
    • By Mickey seabright 28th Jun 19, 8:18 AM
    • 8 Posts
    • 6 Thanks
    Mickey seabright
    I used to work with a woman who seemed to have had the most extraordinary experiences, to the extent that her tale of alien abduction was one of the more believable! ��
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