Age Gap Relationships

hazyjo · 10 January 2019 at 6:50PM

Don't particularly care what people think. Have dated a couple of blokes 10+ years younger, and one 20 years older. My first husband was around 7 years older and looked older, while I look young - at least half a dozen people thought he was my dad lol. I remember being in hospital and they were saying how my dad had been ringing to see how I was. I thought, nah never in a million would he ring, then realised they thought my husband was my dad lol. We just got used to it - maybe just laugh it off instead of trying to justify it. I'd reply with something like 'nah, we're the same age, he's just had a hard life...'.

Domayne · 10 January 2019 at 6:55PM

People will always judge on everything but who cares what they think, they don't know your story . Just remember the quotes - no-one can make you feel inferior without your consent and life is too short to live it for other people.

I have androgenetic alopecia and people are always staring at my balding scalp #nohairdontcare

Sagaris · 10 January 2019 at 7:18PM

Ignore, ignore and ignore again!

There is a 15 year gap between me and my husband - I'm older (but don't look or behave like it apparently).

I didn't realise the age gap when we met, I didn't think it would get serious - and when it did I thought sod it, we were having such a good time (poles apart from my first husband)

We have now just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary - so do what feels right and sod the haters - we are here for a good time!

GlasweJen · 10 January 2019 at 7:52PM

I have 2 friends. Friend A is in a long term, settled relationship with a man old enough to be her grandfather and friend B married a man just 3 years older than her.

Friend B woke up on New Year's Day with her husband (in his 30s) dead beside her in bed.

Age isn't everything, it's hardly anything. Are you both happy?

Fireflyaway · 10 January 2019 at 8:33PM

People are naturally curious and opinionated. If there wasn't an age gap you might well be judged on something else. IE one of you might be judged more attractive, fitter, more intelligent or more wealthy than the other and that could cause comment / judgement. I'm white and my husband is African. We often get looks when our together and someone even tried to put my husband off dating me 'warning' him that white girls are trouble!
I'd say you and your partner are in a similar bracket. If you were 15 and he was 32 that would be creepy or if you were too old to have kids and he really wanted them that could be an issue. Just ignore it. People are very set in their ways when it comes to what is normal.

Savvy_Sue · 10 January 2019 at 10:22PM

Jo3y83 wrote: »

Others are a little less nice Sometimes I get asked what the age gap is and when I tell them the response is "16 years!!" as if it's some kind of crime.

Well, the answer is either "what's that got to do with you?" or one of these:

TBagpuss wrote: »

"What an odd thing to say" or "Did you realise you said that out loud?"

You know, I'd start practising saying that kind of thing out loud, ready for next time. It's always FAR easier to say something you've heard yourself say before, IMO.

All my siblings have married older partners - not a lot in some cases, quite a lot in others. Me, I went for a toy boy (actually he's only a bit more than a year younger, but still).

And I won't pretend there aren't challenges. One sibling's partner died after a long and hard illness. Another's partner has had a lot of ongoing health issues. But remember:

bugslet wrote: »

Well you are either in it for a quick shag or you are in it through thick and thin, so when the bad stuff happens, you get on with it and accept it. Mr Bugs fell ill with dementia. I'd always worked on the principle that he would be likely to go before me, so I just cared for him the best I could until it came time for him to go into a care home.

And in life there are no certainties, you could be the rare case of someone much younger falling ill whilst the older partner is still reasonably fit and healthy.

So I think I'd say "be more bugslet".

Kim_kim · 10 January 2019 at 11:12PM

spadoosh wrote: »

The rule is twice your age minus 7..

Not on your nelly!!!
I’m 51, that would put me with a 95 year old!!!!!

pickledonionspaceraider · 11 January 2019 at 12:09AM

Are you sure that this relationship is what you want OP?

I ask this because, if one is completely confident in their convictions then they have no qualms with other peoples thoughts about it

If a person has the courage of their convictions then no one else's opinion matters.

It is called Marching to the Beat of your own Drum

Honestly even asking such questions marks you down as insecure in my view. Nothing wrong with the age gap, however

Skintski · 11 January 2019 at 12:59AM

I’m 38, the other half is 50. I’ve never really given much thought to his age, it’s more about him as a person and us as a couple. Good luck to you OP.

Alan2020 · 11 January 2019 at 5:25AM

Just ignore!!

As long as it is legal it’s fine!!!

I find the best way to deal with idiots who say how bad it is to say, you know what I am a gold digger and he’s my sugar daddy ha ha

Wife was lectured by someone that a certain fruit was too strong to wean our child and she was upset, told her to say next time not to worry as we wean on jalapeños and child loves it. Other woman no longer comments lol

Just enjoy your life, you know what you both want. Forget people trying to split you up, they are bitter, sad, jealous people.

Age Gap Relationships

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