Marriage Costs

emperorstevee wrote: »

Hello everyone,

Myself and my partner are planning on getting married. My partner has been doing the planning and she tells me that it is going to cost £17k. We make less than £20k/yr combined. I know that weddings cost a lot, but £17k seems an awful lot?

As it is your wedding, I do not understand why you are not involved in the planning of it. You both need to talk about what your expectations are, and what you can afford to pay. It is absolutely ridiculous to talk about spending £17K when between you, your earnings are less than £20k.

You need to get involved, your partner needs a reality check. It is not the best start to a marriage to spend over 10 months of your annual income on one day.

The problem with weddings is that they costs can spiral, and you would be surprised how much thing actually cost when you look into it. That's not to say you can't have a lovely wedding alot cheaper but it is likely that the imagine she'd has in her head is more expensive than that.
17k will likely get a reasonable nice venue with 100 guests, 3 course wedding breakfast, bridal boutique dress, wedding cars etc etc. However, don't spend what you don't have or don't want to spend. If you and partner want to spend 17k and are happy to spend say 4-5 years saving this money - then go for it! However if you want to be married quicker then it is possible to get married on much less and it still be a wonderful day, things like choosing a midweek day, offpeak (winter) etc will lower venue costs, having a late ceremony so there is no wedding breakfast will save a fortune, lowering your guest numbers for the day, no wedding cars, fake flowers instead of fresh etc etc. Look at the wedding forum there are lots of tips!

The first thing you both need to do is sit down and decide what you can afford to save each month, and how long you are willing to wait until you get married - then you have your budget and you work from there!

That sounds a crazy amount of money, especially in relation to your earnings. I think some people are too focused on the wedding day (one day) and not the fact you are getting married (hopefully forever!). I would be really unimpressed about my other half even suggesting we spend that much.

I love the idea of getting married, and hope to one day - but the thought of spending that much money on one day, no way!

£17k on one day! A day that is often less enjoyable for the couple than they imagine with all the stress and duty socializing required, and that passes incredibly quickly.

It might help to talk to your partner about what else that amount could be spent on that would give you more 'bang for your buck' as it were.

Towards a house deposit or reducing your mortgage
Lovely furniture
Holidays and travel
Car
Clothes
Savings

Show them what the other options are and it may give some perspective.

thorsoak wrote: »

As it is your wedding, I do not understand why you are not involved in the planning of it. You both need to talk about what your expectations are, and what you can afford to pay. It is absolutely ridiculous to talk about spending £17K when between you, your earnings are less than £20k.

You need to get involved, your partner needs a reality check. It is not the best start to a marriage to spend over 10 months of your annual income on one day.

Bit in bold - me neither.

What your partner means is that she wants wedding-y things that will cost £17k.
There are unavoidable costs involved with getting married.
They do not, however, come anywhere near £17k.

There is a specific wedding board, BTW.