Does my ex need to know where I live when I have my daughter?

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

New girlfriend issue?

When i saw the OP say 'bad story line from eastenders' my immediate thought was that the new partner is the ex's mum or something.


Its quite clear theres a game being played here. I have some sympathies with the OP in that so far he seems to be completely at the whim of the mother and fitting around her lifestyle. I suspect hes got to a point where saying yes to keep the peace has become too tiresome and hes fighting back. I have sympathies with the mother wanting to know where their child is. That said, im married and have a child and at no point would i ever consider informing my OH of places me and daughter are going.


To those suggesting that the mother has to/should know, i drop my daughter off at nursery two times a week. They go out and about in the local town. Sometimes charity shops, post office, police station etc but the fact is this is ad hoc. I do not get a phone call to tell me where my child is. And this is a perfectly acceptable as the people she is left with are entrusted to look after her. Any issues standard procedures apply, they ring me. Like any parent would ring any other parent if there was an actual issue, not one of the hundred or so times in a day in which a child will say they are hurt/upset and cry.

The OP can make it easier for him to see his daughter, i suspect the reluctance to do so is based on doing one easy things led to doing another easy thing, which led to doing another easy thing which led to agreeing to do an easy things which led to a mountain of things they have to do in order to see their daughter. At what point do the request become unreasonable? Id say when they request something they where previously perfectly happy with and or is happy with it when it suits them. This sounds like one of those situations.

AndyManu wrote: »

I would just refuse to give her back when you have her, the police cannot do anything as the dad has equal rights and it becomes a civil matter (if you can prove paternaty), she will have to go to court to get her back, take back some power man thier yours too right? Can she prove shes a fit mother? You have to both make the terms and agree upon then fairly, not just the mother saying jump - and you saying ok how high?..

If you have parental responsibility.**


(not that I agree with your suggestion)

I’m actually sickened by this entire thread.

Op has stated the ex is irratic and unpredictable....so those saying ‘what’s the worse that can happen?’ Clearly have not been on the other end of an irratic or unpredictable person. I have, male/female it doesn’t matter...it’s scary.

I have personally had to move, come off social media and become ‘off grid’ to avoid a person tracking me down - so completely understand.

Equally, I’ll bet you with tables turned and op being female, and ex being male - the tone of this thread would have been very different..... I can literally see it now....

If a woman was refusing a male ex new address, there would be outrage.

And can I add - I don’t need ‘proof’ or examples of what op is saying had happened before....

I know he’s long gone but good luck op.

To circumvent the matter I would arrange contact at a neutral(ish) address, say, your mums or sisters and spend time with your daughter there.... saves you the anxiety of not knowing when she may or may not turn up at your place of living.

Hope it works out for you.

Dean000000 wrote: »

I’m actually sickened by this entire thread.

Op has stated the ex is irratic and unpredictable....so those saying ‘what’s the worse that can happen?’ Clearly have not been on the other end of an irratic or unpredictable person. I have, male/female it doesn’t matter...it’s scary.

I have personally had to move, come off social media and become ‘off grid’ to avoid a person tracking me down - so completely understand.

Equally, I’ll bet you with tables turned and op being female, and ex being male - the tone of this thread would have been very different..... I can literally see it now....

If a woman was refusing a male ex new address, there would be outrage.

And can I add - I don’t need ‘proof’ or examples of what op is saying had happened before....

I know he’s long gone but good luck op.

To circumvent the matter I would arrange contact at a neutral(ish) address, say, your mums or sisters and spend time with your daughter there.... saves you the anxiety of not knowing when she may or may not turn up at your place of living.

Hope it works out for you.

I'm inclined to agree.