Reducing stress - what actually works?

trailingspouse · 23 November 2017 at 9:02PM

Thanks all.

Part of the problem is that he is the boss. To be fair, he doesn't often bring work home with him (well, not physically anyway - I'm sure he spends time with it on his mind).

He can switch off when he's down in the garage fiddling on, which is good. Didn't know it was called 'flow'.

He's rubbish at sleeping, and tends to go online or watch the TV in the wee small hours - probably not the best, but he finds it takes his mind off the worries that are keeping him awake and allows him to get back to sleep.

He tried mindfulness for a while but got out of the habit - I really think it would help him, so will suggest that he tries it again.

I like the idea of a Friday afternoon list so you don't have to worry about forgetting what you need to do next week. I might use that myself!!

Walking isn't as much a part of our life as we would like it to be - on holiday we do lots of walking and really enjoy it, but we struggle to fit it into 'normal' life, particularly when it's cold and wet, and dark by teatime. Must try harder.

Skyler34 · 4 December 2017 at 1:32PM

Among the preparations, Calmax helped me most of all. As for the rest, dancing and yoga were great!

Floss · 5 December 2017 at 6:03AM

My DH and I have both suffered from stress over the last few years, both work related & personal.

I would suggest he speaks to his GP and considers the use of medication & counselling/ therapy to help develop methods to cope & adapt his way of dealing with life, maybe even professional coaching to assist.

Also we found the following has helped:
getting outside (allotment, walking, garden chores); lower alcohol & caffeine consumption;
"permission" to read/potter/ snooze/ play guitar/ sit and be contemplative;
regular exercise (rowing machine & walking);
getting up & reading when not sleeping;
cutting down on social committments to allow downtime.

faerielight · 7 December 2017 at 10:41AM

The thing that has helped me the most is taking CBD oil.. they sell it at Holland and Barratt: http://www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/jacob-hooy-cbd-oil-60008899

Other things are herbal teas, the ones with the strongest calming effect on me are Pukka 3 Tulsi: http://www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/pukka-three-tulsi-tea-60076724?skuid=076724 and Night Time,http://www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/pukka-three-tulsi-tea-60076724?skuid=076724 I usually brew them both together.
This Magnesium drink is good, Calm: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B000OQ2DJQ/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Aromatherapy helps me too, particularly vetivert (smells earthy and grounding), lavender and marjoram. the mix smells quite unisex. . I put drops on my pillow and eye mask, and mix some into some oil and rub it on my feet. I don't have a bath, unfortunately, but I recently dug out my foot spa and it does help.. I put epsom salts in, https://www.amazon.co.uk/Epsom-Salts-750-Resealable-Pack/dp/B00JCPTE38/ref=sr_1_19_s_it?s=beauty&ie=UTF8&qid=1512639522&sr=1-19&keywords=epsom+saltswhich is magnesium, cheap as chips and proven to help with relaxation and sleep, plus some of the aromatherapy mix, but if you have a bath, you can add the epsom salts to this.

I'm realising that getting into a routine in evening and doing the same thing every eve helps your brain associate them with relaxation.
I listen to guided meditations on youtube as I'm falling asleep, this one is my favourite, from The Honest guys: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TDcGYmEgyM

Silvester89 · 7 December 2017 at 10:53AM

With him not sleeping very well, he isn't drinking excessive amounts of caffeine at work? it's easy to start drinking more coffee or energy drinks at work when you're not sleeping well at night. I tend to find it can be a bit of a vicious cycle as you're drinking more caffeine to feel motivated, but then you're struggling to sleep at night and the caffeine can make you feel more on edge.

System · 7 December 2017 at 11:10AM

When hubby is stressed he gets pain in between his shoulder blades. A warm bath and a massage usually helps.

trailingspouse · 10 December 2017 at 11:42AM

Sorry I haven't been back to this thread for a while. All of these ideas seem fab.

Things have got a bit worse since I originally posted. He has been diagnosed with temporomandibular jaw pain - he was in excruciating pain when eating, and went to the dentist, who thought it might be neuralgia and sent him to the doctor. The doctor is adamant that it isn't neuralgia (thank goodness), and has diagnosed TMJ.

Which is pretty much stress-related.

In a funny sort of way, I'm quite pleased... It's fixable, but it is also a very stark reason for why he needs to get his stress levels under control.

faerielight · 11 December 2017 at 4:12PM

I have TMJ, it is very painful, I know.. there aren't many treatments for it, but the best one is getting the dentist to make mouth guards that you wear at night.

AlwaysAllie · 11 December 2017 at 11:43PM

faerielight wrote: »

I have TMJ, it is very painful, I know.. there aren't many treatments for it, but the best one is getting the dentist to make mouth guards that you wear at night.

^^ this. Not a great look but the results, for me, instantaneous reduction in pain.

AA

trailingspouse · 12 December 2017 at 11:45PM

Yes, he has a mouth guard already, due to teeth grinding. And teeth grinding is another sign of stress and another factor in TMJ. It all makes sense, and it's all pointing to his stress being at a high level.

Reducing stress - what actually works?

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