Wanting to change my child's surname

martinbuckley · 11 April 2018 at 11:27PM

In order to change a child's name on a passport, you either need the consent of all parents named on the full birth certificate, or a court order.

This is to prevent child abduction. If these laws were not in place, you could have a scenario where an estranged parent could change a child's name, get a new passport and leave the country without the knowledge of the other parent who may have been the innocent party in an adulterous relationship who dotes on their child.

Ms_Chocaholic · 11 April 2018 at 11:30PM

sheramber wrote: »

Changing her name does not remove his parental rights. As her father named on the birth certificate he has these rights.

The link I gave you explains you need to make a different application to have his parental rights removed.

The OP can't do anything to remove her daughter's dad's Parental responsibility, that will remain until she reaches the age of 18. The only process that removes PR is adoption which clearly isn't being considered here.

Ms_Chocaholic · 11 April 2018 at 11:34PM

https://www.slatergordon.co.uk/family-and-personal-matters/children-law-solicitors/child-law-and-parental-responsibility/

The Court can remove a parent's or step-parent's parental responsibility if it has been acquired through a parental responsibility agreement or parental responsibility order. However, it's rare for a court to do this, and the circumstances where this might be appropriate are exceptional.

Otherwise, parental responsibility may not be removed, surrendered or transferred. It may, however, be delegated. This means a person with parental responsibility can arrange for another person to meet some or all aspects of it in relation to a child. This can prove useful, for example, if a child or children are being educated in the UK but the parents live overseas. The parents might decide to delegate parental responsibility to a family member or to a trusted adult in the UK whilst the child is at school here.

elsien · 11 April 2018 at 11:52PM

Toni.benne wrote: »

In regards to the guys address I can only provide what I know, I know he was born in Leeds on the birth certificate his address is an address in wf17 batley, as it was a very casual thing we had no mutual friends and I don't know his family, he was dodgy as hell I'm assuming he will have had some dealings with the police since so they might have his address. I genuinely do not know we're he is but I'm sick of every time it comes to a holiday abroad he has control over me!!! I have looked after this child for 11 years I'm not a bad person just bloody stupid I was young and scared of him. The police moved me as he had fire arm offences listed on his record so they was concerned tbh I don't really want to drag everything up but I will as her mum I know I've done right by her cause didn't care and if he did where is he ?? Why does he have rights it make my blood boil!! System is wrong!

The only reason he has control over you, as you put it, is because you changed your daughter's name without attempting to consult him and without appreciating the repercussions. If that hadn't happened, the passport wouldn't be an issue.
He has rights because he's her father. He might have been the world's worst father if he'd ever been given the chance, but you can't just ignore that he currently has parental responsibility. And you can't really say you want nothing more to do with him on the one hand and then ask where he's been for the last years on the other.
You might not like it, but there are processes you need to go through and they are there for a reason.

Toni.benne · 12 April 2018 at 12:22AM

I did try contact him regarding the name change and I couldn't find him!! How can I contact someone if I don't know where they are and it needed changing as she had another surname to the rest of the family I thought her having my surname would make things easier and it had until passport situation

Toni.benne · 12 April 2018 at 12:28AM

And what do u mean given a chance!!! He was given alot of chances that's why I was physically abused and harrased for 3 years till I had enough! He was treating to burn my house down while his daughter was in it and then he broke into my house and stole all my daughter's and my money and then took my car which I used to get my child to child care while I worked!!! Then he sold the car and all mine and my daughter's belonging where thrown at the side of the road so yeah after 3 years of chance after chance I couldn't stand it no longer and I couldn't put up with him turning up at door when he wanted money when I was working hard for me and my daughter and he just thought he could take what he wanted. Even tho I wasn't with him I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt but he took the !!!! and cared about no one but his self

Toni.benne · 12 April 2018 at 12:32AM

Tbh I've never really though about going down the adoption root but I wouldn't have a problem with my partner adopting her we have another child together and we have no plans on splitting up we are solid and he has been a brilliant father to my eldest would this be easier and less complicated ???

Jojo_the_Tightfisted · 12 April 2018 at 1:19AM

Toni.benne wrote: »

Tbh I've never really though about going down the adoption root but I wouldn't have a problem with my partner adopting her we have another child together and we have no plans on splitting up we are solid and he has been a brilliant father to my eldest would this be easier and less complicated ???

No, it wouldn't.

See a solicitor. They can take you through what is needed for each option.

*max* · 12 April 2018 at 1:59AM

OP, you have to realise none of this is going to be "easy and not complicated". It doesn't matter how much you want her parentage to be brushed under the carpet because of what he did to you, legally he is still her father. It's not going to be a simple box ticking exercise, and the sooner you realise, the better prepared you will be.

Go to your appointment at the CAB, and follow their advice.

Savvy_Sue · 12 April 2018 at 2:29AM

By all means get legal advice about changing her name, but please, you would make your life, her life and your partner's life So Much Easier if you just found a way to tell her.

I was initially struggling with the Maths, but I've moved on from there. In the first post, you had your DD in 2006.

Toni.benne wrote: »

Hi guys really in need of some help in 2005 I got pregnant to a guy never lived together was a casual thing my daughter was born in 2006

But then you say:

Toni.benne wrote: »

I have looked after this child for 11 years

So, we've got a child of 11 going on 12, and you haven't yet found 'the right time' to tell her that the man she's thought of as dad since 2010-11 (it varies) is NOT her biological father.

I don't know how much longer you think can leave it. There will NEVER be a 'right time' for this now. All I know is that the time will get more and more wrong the longer you leave it.

She knows at least some of the facts of life by now (unless you've managed to shelter her completely from that!) so a calm, matter of fact discussion with her birth certificate in front of you is, IMO, your most urgent issue. Write a script, practice in front of a mirror, don't go into details about what an awful man he was, just that you and he didn't work out.

Mind you I'd be surprised if she didn't remember some of the drama anyway, even if she never mentions it.

Lots of families have multiple surnames. Lots of children don't have any contact with their birth father. Honesty is the easiest, simplest, least expensive solution.

Wanting to change my child's surname

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