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    • Cat Loving Lady
    • By Cat Loving Lady 5th Feb 19, 10:43 AM
    • 61Posts
    • 54Thanks
    Cat Loving Lady
    Keeping up with the Joneses
    • #1
    • 5th Feb 19, 10:43 AM
    Keeping up with the Joneses 5th Feb 19 at 10:43 AM
    I am a almost 50 year old, married 2 teenagers. Despite having a good income between the two of is things are alwsys tight. We have a high mortgage, and a few debts. Over the years we've always tried to do the best for our kids and they both have savings in place of about 10k each when they reach 18. Eldest son is about to turn 18.

    Life itself is causing me to be depressed. Not because of me but my mother is always comparing us to others. She has friends who are better off than us and buying their kids brand new cars and often makes comments like aren't they lucky. She does the same about people's houses etc comparing them to ours. I'm fed up of it all.

    I can't compare to others but feel I've done the best with what I have had available.

    I've put up with this for years and it's absolute torture. I feel it puts such a weight on my shoulders.

    Would like to know if anyone else has felt in same position.
Page 2
    • BrassicWoman
    • By BrassicWoman 11th May 19, 12:30 PM
    • 2,240 Posts
    • 8,621 Thanks
    Seriously? I find that very sad.
    Originally posted by Leothecat
    I find it a self defense mechanism. People aren't pleasant to be with just because you are related to them.
    May 19 grocery challenge 100.79/ 200
    • svain
    • By svain 12th May 19, 8:11 PM
    • 446 Posts
    • 839 Thanks
    My close friendship group consists of mid to high earners .... None of us have brought brand new cars for our kids (i dont know anyone who has), not have we put large sums of money away for them to access at 18. When did this become a parental requirement??? ... what happened to kids making their own way in the world?? working for their own money, cars etc.

    My advice is us the 10k's you have saved and reduce your high mortgage/debts etc before passing onto your kids. If later down the line you are more comfortably off and your kids need a leg up then that is time imo (not new cars though) .... As for your mum ... just ignore her and grow a thicker skin ... this really works I promise you
    Last edited by svain; 12-05-2019 at 8:15 PM.
    • princesspennies
    • By princesspennies 3rd Jun 19, 2:28 PM
    • 55 Posts
    • 138 Thanks
    Comparison is the thief of Joy, perhaps you should remind her how many children don't have any savings so what a lucky position your children are in to have been given that help.

    If she continues to compare around cars etc, I would ask if shes offering to put her hand in her pocket. x
    • welshbabe88
    • By welshbabe88 9th Sep 19, 12:50 PM
    • 83 Posts
    • 42 Thanks
    Sounds like your mum is quiet bitter and unhappy and this is her way - lots of people only get pleasure from complaining.
    But don't leave that define you. You have done well for you family - so be proud. There will always be others better off - even if you had billions. But think how much worse off most of the world is.
    A house is just a house and a car is just a car - it does not need to be a status symbol - that is a very shallow way of gauging anyone's worth. Don't leave her drag you down - either try and change the conversation or try and limit visits. Her constant undermining is doing you no good - so she definitely has nothing to crow about with being an ideal parent!
    • Mnd
    • By Mnd 9th Sep 19, 5:44 PM
    • 1,388 Posts
    • 2,117 Thanks
    Well, it's 3 months since this thread was active, 7 months since the original post, and the OP hasn't posted on this thread since (and gone off in a huff elsewhere) so I wouldn't worry too much about the problem with her mum
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