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  • FIRST POST
    • smithers1981
    • By smithers1981 12th Nov 19, 1:56 PM
    • 754Posts
    • 537Thanks
    smithers1981
    40 year old male mid life crisis?
    • #1
    • 12th Nov 19, 1:56 PM
    40 year old male mid life crisis? 12th Nov 19 at 1:56 PM
    Is this a typical mid life crisis i was plodding along quite happily until last few weeks when my world has turned upside down.
    Last edited by smithers1981; 12-11-2019 at 2:06 PM.
Page 5
    • gomer
    • By gomer 29th Nov 19, 3:59 PM
    • 728 Posts
    • 1,323 Thanks
    gomer
    Some things just go straight over people's heads lol




    *Sparkles*
    • smithers1981
    • By smithers1981 3rd Dec 19, 1:21 AM
    • 754 Posts
    • 537 Thanks
    smithers1981
    Update we now officially split sheís still in house with daughter Iím at mums until I find place to rent. She says she not selling house we joint owners with joint mortgage.

    Prob £100k equity I would sign over in lieu of child support which I rejoin would be £26000 over next 7.5 years is this realistic?
    • smithers1981
    • By smithers1981 3rd Dec 19, 1:23 AM
    • 754 Posts
    • 537 Thanks
    smithers1981
    PS we not married
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 3rd Dec 19, 6:53 AM
    • 24,136 Posts
    • 64,915 Thanks
    Pollycat
    Update we now officially split sheís still in house with daughter Iím at mums until I find place to rent. She says she not selling house we joint owners with joint mortgage.

    Prob £100k equity I would sign over in lieu of child support which I rejoin would be £26000 over next 7.5 years is this realistic?
    Originally posted by smithers1981
    No chance of staying with your much younger girl friend?


    Have you taken legal advice?

    PS we not married
    Originally posted by smithers1981
    You referred to her as your wife throughout your earlier posts.
    • onwards&upwards
    • By onwards&upwards 3rd Dec 19, 7:22 AM
    • 1,398 Posts
    • 2,799 Thanks
    onwards&upwards
    Update we now officially split sheís still in house with daughter Iím at mums until I find place to rent. She says she not selling house we joint owners with joint mortgage.

    Prob £100k equity I would sign over in lieu of child support which I rejoin would be £26000 over next 7.5 years is this realistic?
    Originally posted by smithers1981

    Good for her!

    You canít not pay child support.
    • smithers1981
    • By smithers1981 3rd Dec 19, 8:18 AM
    • 754 Posts
    • 537 Thanks
    smithers1981
    Well that option is a no go then surely the 50k equity I give her would be more beneficial than 300 per month plus if I had my own house I could have daughter more often.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 3rd Dec 19, 8:27 AM
    • 24,136 Posts
    • 64,915 Thanks
    Pollycat
    Well that option is a no go then surely the 50k equity I give her would be more beneficial than 300 per month plus if I had my own house I could have daughter more often.
    Originally posted by smithers1981
    Where has the other £50K equity gone that you mentioned here:
    Prob £100k equity I would sign over in lieu of child support which I rejoin would be £26000 over next 7.5 years is this realistic?
    Originally posted by smithers1981
    Have you considered she may be entitled to some of that equity in the house plus regular child maintenance?

    Are you married or not?

    Child maintenance is intended to look after the needs of your child on a day-to-day, week-to-week, month-to-month basis.
    How is having £100k equity (or £50k) in the house your daughter is living in going to buy her new shoes when she needs them?
    And why do you think you'll only be paying child maintenance on your 9 year old daughter (as per your profile) until she's 18?
    What if she goes on to further education?
    You may be paying until she's 20.


    Where has your figure of £300 per month come from? Is it based on an estimate using a calculator, plucked from the sky or advice from a bloke down t'pub?


    Who says you will be entitled to a 50/50 split?
    My friend got 60/40 to her - she stayed in the house.
    I've heard of 70/30 splits too.

    I think you need legal advice and I'd hope your wife (or whatever relationship she is to you) will do the same.

    ETA:
    She may be entitled to a share of your pensions if you have any too.
    Of course, you would be entitled to a share of hers too.
    My friend came out pretty well on that front. She had a small pension, he had a very good occupational pension. It was all shared (from the start of the relationship).
    Last edited by Pollycat; 03-12-2019 at 9:17 AM.
    • gomer
    • By gomer 3rd Dec 19, 10:04 AM
    • 728 Posts
    • 1,323 Thanks
    gomer
    Did the girlfriend get dumped?
    • Organza_Lace
    • By Organza_Lace 3rd Dec 19, 10:07 AM
    • 48 Posts
    • 6,953 Thanks
    Organza_Lace
    Did the girlfriend get dumped?
    Originally posted by gomer
    You have a way with words....
    We canít help everyone, but everyone can help someone Ė John Lennon
    • gomer
    • By gomer 3rd Dec 19, 10:14 AM
    • 728 Posts
    • 1,323 Thanks
    gomer
    Why use a whole paragraph when a few words will do lol
    • gomer
    • By gomer 3rd Dec 19, 10:18 AM
    • 728 Posts
    • 1,323 Thanks
    gomer
    I reckon she got the elbow when it hit the fan. Either that or wifey noticed he was suddenly joining slimming clubs & buying that stuff they sell for thinning hair at the chemist and started following him then put 2 and 2 together

    Et voilŗ, marriage over & gf dumped lol



    ......or maybe the gf just looked a bit *ahem* 'different' without the beer goggles?
    Last edited by gomer; 03-12-2019 at 11:29 AM.
    • chesky
    • By chesky 3rd Dec 19, 1:17 PM
    • 1,244 Posts
    • 2,162 Thanks
    chesky
    Post 15 - 'girl at work gone cold on me'

    She's no fool.
    • Gavin83
    • By Gavin83 3rd Dec 19, 2:41 PM
    • 6,420 Posts
    • 11,181 Thanks
    Gavin83
    Update we now officially split sheís still in house with daughter Iím at mums until I find place to rent. She says she not selling house we joint owners with joint mortgage.

    Prob £100k equity I would sign over in lieu of child support which I rejoin would be £26000 over next 7.5 years is this realistic?
    Originally posted by smithers1981
    Can she afford to buy you out? If not she might have no choice other than to sell.

    I think youíd be crazy to give up the equity in the house but ultimately itís your decision. However as others have said youíll need to pay maintenance and you really need to seek legal advice.

    Where has the other £50K equity gone that you mentioned here:
    Originally posted by Pollycat
    I thought it was as fairly clear, thereís £100k equity in the property and heís referring to his half, so £50k of the total. The other £50k is hers.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 3rd Dec 19, 3:24 PM
    • 24,136 Posts
    • 64,915 Thanks
    Pollycat
    I thought it was as fairly clear, thereís £100k equity in the property and heís referring to his half, so £50k of the total. The other £50k is hers.
    Originally posted by Gavin83
    Prob £100k equity I would sign over in lieu of child support which I rejoin would be £26000 over next 7.5 years is this realistic?
    Originally posted by smithers1981
    I read it as £100k equity the OP would sign over which are the exact words the OP used.
    Not £100k split between them.
    • Gavin83
    • By Gavin83 3rd Dec 19, 4:35 PM
    • 6,420 Posts
    • 11,181 Thanks
    Gavin83
    I read it as £100k equity the OP would sign over which are the exact words the OP used.
    Not £100k split between them.
    Originally posted by Pollycat
    I think he's saying there's £100k equity in total, which he'd sign over to her. I'm sure the OP will be back along shortly to confirm though.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 3rd Dec 19, 6:43 PM
    • 24,136 Posts
    • 64,915 Thanks
    Pollycat
    I think he's saying there's £100k equity in total, which he'd sign over to her.
    I'm sure the OP will be back along shortly to confirm though.
    Originally posted by Gavin83
    I thought it was fairly clear, thereís £100k equity in the property and heís referring to his half, so £50k of the total. The other £50k is hers.
    Originally posted by Gavin83
    So maybe not so clear..
    • annetheman
    • By annetheman 3rd Dec 19, 9:03 PM
    • 39 Posts
    • 10 Thanks
    annetheman
    I'm single and live with a cat (now and for the foreseeable future), just grabbing my popcorn as this is intriguing and I wish to live vicariously in this horrible car crash about to happen. My life is very boring. Feel for your wife OP.
    • Gavin83
    • By Gavin83 3rd Dec 19, 10:08 PM
    • 6,420 Posts
    • 11,181 Thanks
    Gavin83
    So maybe not so clear..
    Originally posted by Pollycat
    I was being nice. Clearly you'd rather I wasn't so I won't bother in the future.
    Last edited by Gavin83; 03-12-2019 at 10:10 PM.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 3rd Dec 19, 10:30 PM
    • 24,136 Posts
    • 64,915 Thanks
    Pollycat
    I was being nice. Clearly you'd rather I wasn't so I won't bother in the future.
    Originally posted by Gavin83
    I really don't understand the point you're making.
    I asked a question.
    You said it was clear to you.
    I said it wasn't clear to me.
    • smithers1981
    • By smithers1981 4th Dec 19, 1:53 AM
    • 754 Posts
    • 537 Thanks
    smithers1981
    Just to clarify £100k equity in house so 50/50 I was planning to give her my half instead of £300 a month also offered to help with trips clubs clothes etc.

    She saw solicitor today and we gonna discuss things tomorrow currently on night shift.

    Not sure what options are as for pension she has more than me and we not married just wanted to cloud things so I couldnít easily be identified I know Iíve been selfish and hurt a lot op people.
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