Mooloo’s Managing it in 2018

Mooloo wrote: »

Meanwhile all this is going on DS is burying his head in the sand, his echo is try to manipulate and control him and is now telling me that her health visitor wants to deny him access to the children.
Looks like I need a loan for a family lawyer. But DS is not getting back to me so I cannot help him even if I want to.

It would be very unusual for a health visitor to mention denying access to a childs father unless there were some serious safeguarding issues.

Either ex is just making it up or things have gone on that you are not aware of and she has disclosed this to the HV or she has told the HV things which are not true.

I dont think you need to rush in to getting a solicitor just yet, I believe ex has always caused issues and trys to manipulate DS so this could just be another tactic so he should wait and see and then review in say a month or so.

DS does not need a solicitor to get access to his children, he can apply to the courts himself and follow the process which includes mediation. If he is on a low enough income he will be exempt from the fees.
I helped my brother get access to his children , he had no legal advice, we just followed the court process.

If the solicitor is for you to have access to your grandchildren I would not waste your money, unfortunately under English law grandparents have no rights to ask for access to grandchildren if the mother does not want access. Its cruel but until the law changes this is how it is.

I'm sure it will all come right in the end and next week this whole issue will have blown over.

Do not, under any circumstances, start off the process for your son. He needs to do it himself, if needs be! If you start things off, he WILL expect you to see it through for him and will forever rely on you to sort things out for him.

Not only can you not afford it, but 1/ he is an adult and a father of 2 children and 2/he NEEDS to learn to be responsible and act like an adult. It's high time he realizes there are consequences to his actions, and things don't always go right. ENOUGH of holding his hand! If things go pear-shaped, it will be his own fault!

Advise as much as you want - but NO money, NO calling solicitors for him, NO contacting anyone for him. It's NOT your responsibility, no matter how much you want things to go well for him!

I am getting more than a little annoyed with him now, truth be told.

For your own sanity, you need to take a step back. Your priorities are your dgd and you and your health.