OS ways and Poor Health

I'm not feeling any better. I've come down with a cold and sore throat, it's that time of the month and I just want to cry.I've heard from dd and she's settling in nicely, her flatmates are all lovely, and she's going to be exploring and things tomorrow. I miss her. She was always so funny and supportive and helpful. I didn't realise how much I have relied on her since last December. She loves to cook so often made dinner which helped me a lot. But it's time for her to start out on her own and not have to look after me. I'm glad she got into the uni she wanted. I'm just not sure how I'm going to manage now. I have 4 left at home. 2 are 7 and 6.The other 2 are 15 and 13 and they do stuff around the house too but they're not as sensible and helpful. I feel so useless-it should be me helping the kids not the other way round. I should be happy and pleased that dd has gone to the university she wanted to not be sat here crying. I've also started new tablets for pain(alzain) and so far they're not helping. I have a huge mess in my living room and I am sat here looking at it because I don't know where to put anything.Some of it is dd's that she didn't want to take with her(Her younger sister moved into her room so that my son could have his own room and she was sleeping in the living room on a fold out sofa for a few weeks) and I have so little storage here it's ridiculous. The shed is full-that was meant to be a summer job that we tackled together but she was working pretty much full time over the summer so we never managed to do it. The garden is a mess-every time she was off it would rain so we never got round to it. I'm just really struggling on my own. The kids have homework and I just can't do it I'm sorry I'm just bringing everyone down here. I think it'd be better for me to leave.

I'm a lurker and rarely post but just had to say it would definitely not be better for you to leave. Everyone here wants to help you even if it's just by letting you pour out your feelings. Of course you're sad and scared, your whole life is undergoing a big change. I'm sure others will be along later to say the same thing. Don't go

toomuchdebt

Don't leave - the timing of everything has got on top of you and it will get better. Can you have an early night, a hot water bottle, a good book and a hot drink?

Hugs

TMD - I wept buckets when my eldest son went to university - Sorry if it sounds indelicate but it was literally "gut wrenching" - I felt someone had a put a knife into my stomach and they just kept twisting it.

And at that time my husband was still alive and well, his illness wasnt even on the horizon. So goodness knows now you must feel being as a sole parent, having to face this alone and putting on a good show for your other children.

Try to console yourself on a job well done. She has left the nest and is ready to soar. All thanks to you, You did that. .

She will keep coming back, as sure as eggs is eggs.

Take it easy, be gentle and rest. Your body is in shock, be kind to yourself and try not to worry about the outstanding jobs. They can wait. Cuddle up with your other children, just enjoy being with them. They probably miss their "Big Sis". Get out the popcorn and snuggle down with your kids and watch a daft movie.

Toomuchdebt please don't leave. Our children going to uni is painful for lots of us mums. Look at my username! It's wrong, they came back. At times to stay and other times to visit but back they came and still do. Turns out our children love us and that's the most important thing. Be as gentle with yourself as you can and carry on loving your kids. The other things will wait. hugs xx