Poor Single Lady Debt Diary - Trying again

Poor_Single_lady · 17 September 2018 at 3:34PM

It's not the knowing what I should do that I struggle with it's the actual practicalities of living on very little money.

It's like a diet, obviously you shouldn't have chocolate for breakfast but if you're used to doing that then you will find it hard not to.

If it was as easy as it looks on paper then none of us would be here. But it is massively hard.

KxMx · 18 September 2018 at 10:15AM

A Debt charity can help with budgeting advice and the balance between spending and repaying debts.

You could end up with more money available for lifestyle.

You never know unless you try.

DMP_Tiger · 18 September 2018 at 10:49AM

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

It's not the knowing what I should do that I struggle with it's the actual practicalities of living on very little money.

If it was as easy as it looks on paper then none of us would be here. But it is massively hard.

Yes it is hard. But with a Debt Management Plan, you don't have to live on very little money. You take your income, deduct your expenses and what you have left goes to your creditors.

But your expenses don't have to be the bare minimum, you include an allowance for fun stuff plus you can exaggerate your necessities to give you more fun money. For example if you spend £100 per month on petrol, you put down £150 per month. Your creditors know where you live but they don't know where you work.

You can also add vet fees even if you don't have a pet, tobacco even if you don't smoke and anything else you can think of. The Stepchange calculator has all sorts of categories that you can fill in creatively.....

It will take longer to pay off your debts by doing that, but you will be able to have more of a life.

Poor_Single_lady · 18 September 2018 at 12:42PM

I don't think this is helping me. I am exhausted and I'm out.

[Deleted User] · 18 September 2018 at 1:11PM

Sent you a wee PM.

Dxxx

Poor_Single_lady · 20 September 2018 at 1:17AM

Can we all please remember a debt diary is an outlet. There are people in the U.K. Myself included Who have loads of friends but nobody to talk to about the debt. And these people do drastic things when it gets too much so maybe we should be a bit more Supportive rather than judgemental.

If i says on my debt diary that I don't want to phone stepchange it's quite undermiming to then get responses saying I could/should. Yes of course I can I've got a phone but I've made a decision that I don't want to and I think that should be respected rather than argued with.

I think people should be allowed to say that it is hard living on reduced money without being told how a DMP works when they are already on one.

I think really if you want to be argumentative and dress it up as help you should just keep it to yourself.

There has to be room for everyone to do things their own way. And to be allowed to complain and speak your mind - on your own debt diary. I sometimes feel like although this is an outlet unless you are being positive about everything then you're not very welcome.

System · 20 September 2018 at 2:35AM

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

Can we all please remember a debt diary is an outlet. There are people in the U.K. Myself included Who have loads of friends but nobody to talk to about the debt. And these people do drastic things when it gets too much so maybe we should be a bit more Supportive rather than judgemental.

If i says on my debt diary that I don't want to phone stepchange it's quite undermiming to then get responses saying I could/should. Yes of course I can I've got a phone but I've made a decision that I don't want to and I think that should be respected rather than argued with.

I think people should be allowed to say that it is hard living on reduced money without being told how a DMP works when they are already on one.

I think really if you want to be argumentative and dress it up as help you should just keep it to yourself.

There has to be room for everyone to do things their own way. And to be allowed to complain and speak your mind - on your own debt diary. I sometimes feel like although this is an outlet unless you are being positive about everything then you're not very welcome.

I think the thing is sometimes people who comment haven't necessarily read all your diary or your previous one, so only comment on want they see recently. I have followed you for a while and know you have posted elsewhere about DMP set up.

Anyway that said you have to deal with your debt your way , no one size fits all . This is your diary and you can say what you want on it.

I do wish though that you had someone to speak to outside of this thread to speak to who could offer you some support, but then saying that I don't talk about my debt to any of my friends either so I am the same in that respect.

Always here to cheer you on or offer support , keep posting , one day we will cheer you over the finishing line.

I better try to go to sleep again now.

DMP_Tiger · 20 September 2018 at 9:09AM

Cumbria_lass wrote: »

I think the thing is sometimes people who comment haven't necessarily read all your diary or your previous one, so only comment on want they see recently. I have followed you for a while and know you have posted elsewhere about DMP set up.

This is spot on. We are all dealing with our own debts and reading several diaries so it's impossible to have your whole situation in our heads when we are commenting.

We are all in debt and are therefore sympathetic/empathetic to your situation and although we don't actually know you personally, we all care about you. When your posts have a sad/miserable/frustrated undertone, it makes us sad for you and we want to help so we try to give you advice based on our own experiences. Sometimes it might be rubbish advice but sometimes there might be stuff that you hadn't thought of and can take on board.

One thing I can assure you though is that we have all made a mess of our finances and nobody will judge you.

Much love, Tiger x

KxMx · 20 September 2018 at 7:05PM

My last post was triggered by what happened with a friend.

She confided in me that her debts were keeping her awake at night, so I suggested she contact one of the debt charities.

Her immediate response was that she couldn't live without credit cards. Due to her irregular pay pattern not meeting up with bill due dates.

She is a professional, intelligent lady working at the top of a very competitive
profession. She honestly thought that was what a debt charity would say.

I do get the message however that such posts are not welcomed by you. I'm honestly sorry I couldn't help.

enthusiasticsaver · 20 September 2018 at 11:53PM

I think everyone's diary is different. Some people do want advice and sometimes people suggest things the diary holder doesn't know about or has misconceptions about. This is supposed to be a non judgemental forum but also a source of support and advice. It is your diary and you are right in that you should use it in the way you find most helpful. Not everyone will know that You are using the diary primarily as an outlet for your frustration at your situation though and that you have already considered the suggestions offered unless they read the whole diary and your previous one.

I hope things improve for you soon.

Poor Single Lady Debt Diary - Trying again

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