Upset re inheritance

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  • tacpot12
    tacpot12 Posts: 7,962 Forumite
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    You haven't said why your sister thinks this money should go to your mother, so that you mother receives more money than her siblings. Without hearing her reasons, I don't see how anyone can advise on the rights and wrongs of making any change to your uncle's bequest.
    The comments I post are my personal opinion. While I try to check everything is correct before posting, I can and do make mistakes, so always try to check official information sources before relying on my posts.
  • dbrookf
    dbrookf Posts: 594 Forumite
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    tacpot12 wrote: »
    You haven't said why your sister thinks this money should go to your mother, so that you mother receives more money than her siblings. Without hearing her reasons, I don't see how anyone can advise on the rights and wrongs of making any change to your uncle's bequest.

    I said she wants it sharing between the four siblings – not my mother per se.
  • jackieblack
    jackieblack Posts: 10,316 Forumite
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    tacpot12 wrote: »
    You haven't said why your sister thinks this money should go to your mother, so that you mother receives more money than her siblings.
    :huh: But that isn't what she's thinking...
    dbrookf wrote: »
    The issue is my sister is not happy as she thinks that I should give up my inheritance to each of the siblings (one being my mother)



    tacpot12 wrote: »
    Without hearing her reasons, I don't see how anyone can advise on the rights and wrongs of making any change to your uncle's bequest.
    Her reasons are irrelevant.
    It was the uncle's choice who he left his money to.
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  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,557 Forumite
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    dbrookf wrote: »
    But she’s making me feel guilty now....should I be giving her half??

    No. Did you make her feel guilty for not helping out with uncle when he needed it?

    She's manipulating you because she's jealous that you (and your mother) have been left money and she hasn't.

    If this is a life-long pattern, now is a good time to stop falling for it.
  • dbrookf
    dbrookf Posts: 594 Forumite
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    Mojisola wrote: »
    No. Did you make her feel guilty for not helping out with uncle when he needed it?

    She's manipulating you because she's jealous that you (and your mother) have been left money and she hasn't.

    If this is a life-long pattern, now is a good time to stop falling for it.

    To be fair to her, it’s not a life long pattern...obviously it’s quite a normal envy thing....
  • AnotherJoe
    AnotherJoe Posts: 19,622 Forumite
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    dbrookf wrote: »
    But she’s making me feel guilty now....should I be giving her half??


    If your uncle wanted to leave to your and your sister equally he'd have done so, wouldnt he?

    He didnt.
    Does your sister often try to poach money from you?
  • jackieblack
    jackieblack Posts: 10,316 Forumite
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    dbrookf wrote: »
    To be fair to her, it’s not a life long pattern...obviously it’s quite a normal envy thing....

    Envy might be normal, demanding that you give up your inheritance isn’t IMO.
    If my brother received a large inheritance I might feel a little envious but I wouldn’t start telling him that he doesn’t deserve it and demanding that he gives it away!
    2.22kWp Solar PV system installed Oct 2010, Fronius IG20 Inverter, south facing (-5 deg), 30 degree pitch, no shading
    Everything will be alright in the end so, if it’s not yet alright, it means it’s not yet the end
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    2021 £1250.00, 2022 £1500.00, 2023 £1500
    Target for 2024 (offset) = £1200, YTD £345
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  • spadoosh
    spadoosh Posts: 8,732 Forumite
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    dbrookf wrote: »
    To be fair to her, it’s not a life long pattern...obviously it’s quite a normal envy thing....

    My sister does more for her employer than i do hence they pay her more than they pay me. Im not envious of that situation, its to be expected.

    It depends on the justificiations you can put forward. If you didnt help your uncle out im certain youd be more willing to share out some of the inheritance as youd struggle to justify it.

    I suspect the reality of the situation is something along those lines. Neither you or your sister can put a value of £50k on helping your uncle. As such you dont feel entitled to it and she doesnt think all of it should be yours either.


    Could you feel justified in keeping the money? thats the crux of the matter. If you cant, work out what amount you could justify keeping hold of and then donate the rest to a cause your uncle felt passionately about.
  • pphillips
    pphillips Posts: 1,631 Forumite
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    dbrookf wrote: »
    But she’s making me feel guilty now....should I be giving her half??

    It seems to me that you're being manipulated and that you have a problem with boundaries.
    Try to focus on what you want rather than what other people are expecting from you.
  • Socajam
    Socajam Posts: 1,238 Forumite
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    I agree with those that said if your uncle wanted to leave your sister something he would.
    He choose not to, so that's your answer.
    I would not giver her anything and most definitely not give the money to your mother - the check of both of them.
    I bet if the roles were reversed, she would not do what she is asking of you.
    Grow a spine and keep the money, it was left to you by your uncle for a reason.
    If you don't need the money now, put it away for a rainy day fund.
    But stop feeling bloody guilty as your sister wants you to.
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