Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it

kittie wrote: »

the loneliness could easily crack me up too and I think myself so lucky to still be young enough to do things, it must be impossible at an old age. My dear mil used to say that she hoped not to wake up on some mornings.

I cut and pasted because LL the above applies to me and I too thank WM for those words, she said what I thought but daren`t say, even to myself

I absolutely have to move forward via this potential new home, staying here would mean I was stuck. The house is beautiful, storage is brilliant but I want to get out on my bike, different places, not around the same (lovely) circuit each and every time. I want walking distance to facilities, village facilities but much better and I need to be future proofed

In the meantime, while I wait, I get prepared, bottom every room, one at a time, unscrew things, fill holes and touch up paintwark. Working the marie kondo magic when the mood takes me. I did that today and have ended up with a study/craft room that I would be proud to show to viewers.

Honestly local radio does help, there is power in cheery music, it changes brain waves. I couldn`t do without the radio

I have an Amazon Firestick so can download apps onto it. I like to watch the news and listen to music. I have Spotify on my phone so I downloaded the app onto the FS and I can listen to all my favourite music while I'm doing whatever. I do think music is good for the soul. I also have the BBC app. Suits me just fine.

Some interesting comments there White Musk. You are slightly ahead of me, I will be 4 years in August.

It’s good that your move worked out so well for you. I think I am ready now, nervous of course but I am going to trust my instincts and not look to my sons for guidance. I tried that before and it just didn’t pan out for me. But that was my fault because I didn’t have a clear picture of what I needed. Now I am more focussed so it should be easier.

Another man??? Well he would have to be pretty remarkable, my husband would be a tough act to follow.

I did meet a couple of men on one of my cruises. They were both vying for my favours which was actually quite gratifying. :rotfl:

Meeting those two men did teach me that I can actually contemplate another relationship now and that I wouldn’t feel that I was betraying my husband’s memory. I enjoyed a little light flirting, it was fun but I didn’t want to take it any further with either of them.

They were both nice men but there were no thunderbolts, no fireworks, no shooting stars, .......at least not for me although they seemed keen enough. Alas I wasn’t struck by Cupid’s arrow. :rotfl:

Does lightening strike twice. Could I be that lucky. It can happen of course. Some people do have the good fortune to love again. I won’t hold my breath. It’s all in the lap of the Gods.

I also had a very happy marriage, he was so laid back it was unreal, nothing ever fazed him even when our children were small. He too would be a hard act to follow. I think he would hate me being alone and would want me to find someone new but I just don't feel right about it somehow. Maybe if he appeared in my life I might feel differently but the option at the moment would be online dating and the thought of that fills me with horror. It aint happening. :rotfl:

I lost my hubby January 2014 so 4 years 3 months.

Thank you for your well wishes. X
It wasn't too bad at work today a dear friend of mine was on the same section, so she understands. I think the miserable weather affects me too.
It's so true that the loneliness even when we see other people is hard . I may try a radio again, but I find music sets me crying, either the words or what it reminds me of.
I'm only 54 but don't feel like I would ever want anyone in my life again,I know you never know, but even the thought of loving someone so much and then dying and going through the heartache all over again, is enough to put me off being with someone.
Hope everyone is doing ok. Much love.x

That's an excellent point Wort. Fall in love again, build a new life to suddenly be widowed all over again. I think for me, once was more than enough.