Debt and Mental Health - How have your debts affected you?

Kerrie2511 · 21 November 2019 at 1:37AM

I am about £1200 in my overdraft. I wouldn’t be in this situation if wasn’t for 2 lads robbing me at knifepoint while at work. They smashed the till off with a hammer. I took about 1 & a half months off work. Used the little savings I had to cover the shortfall in my wages.

Just finding it difficult to get out my overdraft. I earn just over £1000 a month. Just covers my bills. I am left with £198 to last me the month. Only got paid today. I don’t go out drinking, see friends, don’t go them cinema. All I do is go to work, come home walk the dog and watch tv. It’s so depressing and boring.

After 2 years of pushing to pass my driving test, I finally passed. I can’t afford a car. If I could have a car I would be z a ble to get a better job.

Edinburgh4a · 11 December 2019 at 2:49PM

I've been in debt since I turned 18 and finally will be debt free in a few months time at the age of 36. It has caused me huge amounts of anxiety and depression over the years; both due to the worry of repayments and also because of the things I've missed out on because of the payments. (Not being able to just go travelling, not being able to afford to learn to drive, buy a house etc.)

I know my credit rating will still be affected for 6 years after my DAS DPP has been paid off but I've gone so long without access to credit now I'm not remotely interested in relying on it ever again other than using it to rebuild my credit rating and eventually get a mortgage.

I wish I'd sorted myself out sooner but it's a vicious circle; my terrible mental health which was exasperated by the level of debt kept me from digging my head out of that sand.

790hero · 14 January 2020 at 7:44PM

I am a long time sufferer of anxiety.

Since my LBW late last year it has all but disappeared, and I have these weird things now, patience and happiness.

My debt hasn't yet decreased, but I finally turned around and confronted it. Now armed with a plan to be debt-free, I seem to have before anxiety free!

kazzorgreenwood · 14 January 2020 at 7:44PM

My 37 year old daughter left her husband 12 months ago. He was a conman who duped her into marriage then controlled her life and finances. He came across as a successful business man and had a small furniture shop when they met. About 6 months into the relationship he told her they needed to expand but he couldn't be a director of the company because he had been in prison for money laundering!!! She (without my knowledge) took out personal loans and credit cards to HELP!!! the growing business. My daughter, has learning a disability and is quite vulnerable. She comes across confident and streetwise but she is Dyslexic and is more like a teenager. I found out about her marriage breakdown when she phoned me one day to tell me she wanted to die and was looking for somewhere to hang herself to rid her of all her anxiety caused by he husband. I wont go any further into detail but we attended her GP and found out she was also self medicating with strong painkillers and was dependant on them. The doctor knew of her suicidal thoughts and had referred her to the crisis team. Almost, 6 months later I am trying to sort out all the debt he has duped her into. Personal loans and credit cards amount to 38k and she has now been given a bill or 250k as the liquidator of one of the businesses cannot account for 250k of missing money. I am at my wits end and this is damaging her mental health further with the worry. I really do worry about her taking her own life.
s there anything I can do to get the creditors to write off the debts due to her mental health and her husband making her take out these loans.
Thank you

seb345 · 16 January 2020 at 8:53AM

thanks for sharing. I am struggling with anxiety and depression because I used to have massive debts. I'm more or less clear but it seems like I will always have to worry about that and the aftermath of debt

GoodFollow · 23 January 2020 at 1:06PM

Are the physical diseases affecting your loan, and will it increase the % for payments

Treesandbird2020 · 9 February 2020 at 8:57PM

My husband debt has really affected my metal health to the point I am now having depression and in the past I have thought that if I wasn't here the debts could be paid

StepChange_Rachael · 19 February 2020 at 10:39AM

kazzorgreenwood said:

My 37 year old daughter left her husband 12 months ago. He was a conman who duped her into marriage then controlled her life and finances. He came across as a successful business man and had a small furniture shop when they met. About 6 months into the relationship he told her they needed to expand but he couldn't be a director of the company because he had been in prison for money laundering!!! She (without my knowledge) took out personal loans and credit cards to HELP!!! the growing business. My daughter, has learning a disability and is quite vulnerable. She comes across confident and streetwise but she is Dyslexic and is more like a teenager. I found out about her marriage breakdown when she phoned me one day to tell me she wanted to die and was looking for somewhere to hang herself to rid her of all her anxiety caused by he husband. I wont go any further into detail but we attended her GP and found out she was also self medicating with strong painkillers and was dependant on them. The doctor knew of her suicidal thoughts and had referred her to the crisis team. Almost, 6 months later I am trying to sort out all the debt he has duped her into. Personal loans and credit cards amount to 38k and she has now been given a bill or 250k as the liquidator of one of the businesses cannot account for 250k of missing money. I am at my wits end and this is damaging her mental health further with the worry. I really do worry about her taking her own life.
s there anything I can do to get the creditors to write off the debts due to her mental health and her husband making her take out these loans.
Thank you

Hi

I came across your post and saw that you were asking for advice, I hope you don’t mind me replying. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, I can understand wanting to help your daughter find a way forward.

As you’ve mentioned your ex-son-in-law’s used manipulative behaviour and that your daughter is vulnerable due to her health conditions, it might be worth first looking at getting some legal advice. If there is money from the business not accounted for and they are now expecting your daughter to become liable for it, then it certainly sounds as though something isn’t right here and needs to be looked into further. Legal advice can be costly, you or your daugther might be eligable for Legal Aid.

If you can get a doctor’s letter explaining your daughter’s health conditions and explain what has happened so far, the creditors might be willing to consider writing the debt off or at least be more understanding and lenient when it comes to collecting for it. I can’t say this for certain as it’s completely up to the creditors and the individual situation. They may also expect that you’ve taken matters further first through the legal route as they’ll more than likely want evidence that this is the case.

I don’t know enough about the situation and business debt to be able to give accurate advice, but from what you’ve mentioned I’d look into getting more of an understanding as to how the £250k deficit came about and why your daughter is now being chased for it.

Ultimately, your daughter could also look at alternative debt solutions to deal with the debts, there is always a way forward. Insolvency solutions that write off debt may also be a possibility. As you’ve mentioned the business’s are going through liquidation, I assume that your daughter is no longer classed as self-employed and if she does want free debt advice she can always speak with an advisor at StepChange or another free debt advice organisation for support. If your daughter is still classed as self-employed then the Business Debtline would be able to help.

Hope this is of some help.

Take care,
Rachael

nurseylou47 · 2 March 2020 at 3:45PM

After a being in an abusive marriage for many years, with significant debt also, as a result of my ex husband's business decisions, it took me many years to pay these off when we split and he made no payments towards the debt,a mortgage or child maintenance. Eventually however I did pay off the debt. This caused me severe anxiety and depression, so paying off the debt after 10 years was a massive relief.
I trained to be a health professional and had a very responsible job, with significant stress at times and when my dad became unwell, the stress became unmanageable. I became very unwell with depression and took six months off work. I returned to work feeling much better, but when my second husband and I moved, I changed jobs to be nearer to our new home. I quickly became unwell again, due to different processes and other issues in my new base, so made the decision to walk away from my career. We had taken out a mortgage with two good incomes and suddenly we had to make ends meet with one income.
My depression has been life threatening and very severe, but I generally manage without medical intervention, but staying in my last job was not a safe option. I'm now looking for work to fit around my autistic daughter and school, but it seems so hard to find something suitable. My credit card is now up to its maximum £3000 and I don't know how we can continue without falling into arrears. This is having a significant impact on my mental health and there seems no light at the end of this long debt tunnel.

CurlySue2017 · 2 March 2020 at 4:09PM

seb345 said:

thanks for sharing. I am struggling with anxiety and depression because I used to have massive debts. I'm more or less clear but it seems like I will always have to worry about that and the aftermath of debt

This strikes a chord with me even though my situation is slightly different.

It was my OH that was struggling with debt from his past (before we got together) but being involved so closely with it and all the mess and stress that comes with it really took a toll on me. Whatever had happened in the past, he now lived with me so if bailiffs were coming, they were coming to my house and that terrified me. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and have been having counselling for a while now.

It is getting better but that feeling of dread every time my OH receives any mail has never gone away. My heart literally falls into my stomach and the panic sets in. There is always that fear that something else is going to crop up out of the blue.

I keep the door locked at all times, even when I just pop outside to put things in the bin!

Debt and Mental Health - How have your debts affected you?

Comments

Categories

Get our FREE Weekly email full of deals & guides - and it’s spam-free