PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING
Hello Forumites! In order to help keep the Forum a useful, safe and friendly place for our users, discussions around non-MoneySaving matters are not permitted per the Forum rules. While we understand that mentioning house prices may sometimes be relevant to a user's specific MoneySaving situation, we ask that you please avoid veering into broad, general debates about the market, the economy and politics, as these can unfortunately lead to abusive or hateful behaviour. Threads that are found to have derailed into wider discussions may be removed. Users who repeatedly disregard this may have their Forum account banned. Please also avoid posting personally identifiable information, including links to your own online property listing which may reveal your address. Thank you for your understanding.Bought a house, Really regret doing it.
Comments
-
Speaking with your GP is the right thing to do. You've already noted that you may be projecting other fears and anxieties onto the house and the move, so there could be some other underlying issues that you will need to sort out (even if you did move back "home" it might not resolve the other stuff).
In terms of the social life worries, there's usually plenty of social stuff happening in villages, esp. one with 3,500 people, it's just less likely to be casual interaction on the street and more organised clubs and societies.
The village I grew up in was around the same size but it had sports clubs (football, tennis, rugby, badminton etc), music groups / choirs, amateur dramatics, Scouts / Guides, ramblers, reading groups, allotments, churches, humanist groups etc etc. But you might have to actively seek these things out, and even if they might not seem to be your cup of tea to start with they can still help you build friendships with people.
e.g. I'm a mediocre tennis player, but when we moved to our current town I joined the tennis club and went along to some of the casual open-to-all evening sessions. I now have a regular poker game with the husbands of some of the ladies I played against, and another group of friends who I go cycling with, as well as a separate circle I play tennis with.
Also, do you and/or your partner have the option to work from home 1-2 days a week, which might cut down some of the stress of commuting?
Thank you for the Advice, I will look into the village life, maybe I do feel isolated, but I just feel very distressed at the house and only settle when I visit my father who is currently living with his GF.
If I spend anytime at the house on my own I tend to cry without any cause and I can't stop. While staying at home to avoid the commute is a valid Idea the concept of being there on my own is horrifying and would increase my partners travel costs which wouldn't be good.0 -
If I spend anytime at the house on my own I tend to cry without any cause and I can't stop. While staying at home to avoid the commute is a valid Idea the concept of being there on my own is horrifying and would increase my partners travel costs which wouldn't be good.
I would suggest that there's more going in here than the house from the reaction you're having, and that a visit to the GP should be your starting point. After all, even if you and your partner do decide to move again, it's going to take some time and you can't carry on like this while you wait to sell and buy again, which is stressful enough as it is.All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.
Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.0 -
Not much to add but I'd recommend checking out https://www.sleepio.com. It's a CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) based course for helping with sleep. It helped me a great deal when I had anxiety related sleep issues (waking up every night, feeling very stressed and on edge unable to get back to sleep).0
-
Chappers27 wrote: »Some people are harsh. Jeez.
Harsh but true. Are you qualified to counselling or to recognise and treat mental health, or perhaps know which SSRI to prescribe and being aware of the side effects the individual person can tolerate.
Mumsnet this section is not. There are other sections of this forum if you want to find that kind of support.
If you want talk about section 21 and 8 or eviction processes on here, then that is appropriate for this section. Otherwise why have specific different sections?
http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/AboutNHSservices/mental-health-services-explained/Pages/mental-health-emergencies.aspx"It is prudent when shopping for something important, not to limit yourself to Pound land/Estate Agents"
G_M/ Bowlhead99 RIP0 -
I would suggest that there's more going in here than the house from the reaction you're having, and that a visit to the GP should be your starting point. After all, even if you and your partner do decide to move again, it's going to take some time and you can't carry on like this while you wait to sell and buy again, which is stressful enough as it is.
Exactly, I don't really understand myself, but as soon as the house completed, I has relieved and immediately dread hit me square in the chest. Since then I have moved from one point of blame in the house to another without any real cause for concern. Anything that was an issue the builder or myself have addressed so i'm now out of things to point my finger at and thats what made me realise its not any problems I have with the house but either an underlying issue or the house or my life style.0 -
I ended up hating my last house - well, not so much the house as the bad luck I had in it. Literally as soon as my ex and I offered, his dad got ill (cancer), my dad had cancer again - both sadly died, my cat died, lots of other crap happened which I can't face listing, but it was just traumatic. I ended up moving in with a bloke round the corner (my ex had a new GF too) in his grotty one bed flat to avoid being in my lovely 4 bed, 4 storey forever-house which I thought I was going to love. We lived like students/squatters and I didn't care, I was happy.
I (with my BF) moved back to near the area I'd come from. I wouldn't say I missed it, but it certainly felt like home when I went back.
I vote for an honest discussion with your OH with a view to selling. It's a long time to still blame homesickness or other issues. Sometimes the house just isn't right and there's no way of explaining why. It totally affects your mental 'balance' - I know only too well. Perhaps you have OCD like me (the word 'balance' often crops up), although I'm now on my 8th move and haven't really felt it before.
Good luck. Keep us informed.2023 wins: *must start comping again!*0 -
It sounds to me like it's centring round the location. In that case - it's entirely logical to have this thread on the housing sub-forum.
Even people who pride themselves on being a logical thinker still usually have some feelings/emotions (most inconvenient as they sometimes are....).
I'm actually borrowing the words "my tribe" from a married couple I knew some years back - from him explaining to me that they were moving back to where they had come from (city to smaller place in Wales) because they had decided to be back with "their tribe". No mental health problems that I could see with either of them - and they did duly move back. I have no idea how things went for them after that to know whether the move had the desired effect.0 -
Harsh but true. Are you qualified to counselling or to recognise and treat mental health, or perhaps know which SSRI to prescribe and being aware of the side effects the individual person can tolerate.
Mumsnet this section is not. There are other sections of this forum if you want to find that kind of support.
If you want talk about section 21 and 8 or eviction processes on here, then that is appropriate for this section. Otherwise why have specific different sections?
The reason I posted here is because to my knowledge at this time, This is related to my house and wanted feedback from the community on whether or not people had been through this before and the level i am. Everything was fine in my life til I changed my residence since then i've been living through hell hoping for it to stop or for my life to abruptly end. My family, friends and partner are all there for me and being very supportive, but i'm currently living in sadness and depression which I see currently coming from where I live.0 -
Sorry to hear you are unhappy. so me, quiet small village, detached house etc sounds perfect but then I have always hated busy places myself.
You need to work out exactly what it is you don't like before you move, otherwise moving may not solve the issue.
If you are like me, I used to hate commuting by car to work, I just can't stand crawling along in slow traffic endlessly every day. For that reason, when I looked to move, the actual journey from home to work was very important. Some lovely locations I turned down, because the journey would involve too much bad traffic.
Also, at one point I had an informal arrangement with my boss, that I would start work early, and finish early, to avoid the worst of the traffic. Perhaps that might help?0 -
To me - another very relevant question is what age group you're in.
My feeling is that you're still in a relatively young age group?
If this is the case - then you are going to be living in that location for quite a substantial part of your life.
The combination of the thought of a substantial part of your life living there coupled with the fact that I am guessing you are young enough to be able to "make up to yourselves financially" for some thousands of £s thrown down the drain on having two moves in quick succession would put you in a very different situation to someone with a lot shorter estimated lifespan to come and little chance to "make up" money wasted in moving to and fro.
Sounds to me like you need a very good discussion with your partner and see how they feel about all of this and whether you are both "on the same page" about this.
Sometimes people change how they feel about a change of location and can spend literally the first few years being pretty unhappy/unsettled about a different location - but then come to really like it and wouldnt move by choice.
Other people will still visibly relax and start smiling the second they go back to a previous location even decades later (quick calculation of the person I'm thinking of being they moved to another location because of circumstances around 50 years ago - and they still smile/visibly relax when they go back to the previous one to this day).
So - good discussion all round with your partner on their feelings and which of those 2 categories they think you personally come in (initial :eek: turning to
) or decades later haven't "got into it and never will". 0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 343.1K Banking & Borrowing
- 250.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 449.7K Spending & Discounts
- 235.2K Work, Benefits & Business
- 607.9K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 173K Life & Family
- 247.8K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
- 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards