CMS Advice
Michaela85
Posts: 1 Newbie
Me and my ex split up about 5yrs ago, we lived together and had a son who's now 9. a year after we split, i moved down south to be nearer to my parents.
Since then he has done all the travelling, seeing him once or twice a month for the weekend and occasionally during the holidays. He's paid maintenance, usually around 10% of what he earns. And we kept things kinda amicable.
But problems started a few years ago, he went self employed and his earnings were irregular. Sometimes my payments were late by a few days as he was a contractor and didn't always get paid regularly and i'd have to chase him for it.
So i'd decided i'd had enough, so i contacted the CMS and got them to deal with it. Turns out he had a new job from Feb 2018 and was earning around £20k a year, but my payments never went up at all. So they have calculated that i am owed a lot in back payments dating to Feb last year. Since Feb this year he has started paying me the correct amount, but refusing to pay me any back payments.
He bases his arguments on a few things. First one being that while he was self employed between 2016 - 18, he was on low income, around £800pcm, but was still paying me £120 which is about £30 per month overpayment over 2 years.
His second argument is that he has got himself into massive debts, with credit cards, around £14k. And for the last 12 months he's been trying to pay them off, roughly £600 per month, which is why he hasn't been about to up my payments until now. Since Jan this year he has gone onto a debt management plan through stepchange, so his credit card payments have been reduced so now he is paying the correct amount per month.
His third argument is that it costs him a lot in petrol each month to see him. I moved exactly 100 miles away, and he says a 400mile round trip to see him for the weekend costs him about £70-80 in fuel, and that i should take that into consideration.
Anyway my reason for posting is, am i being unreasonable because he has shown me statements etc, i know his finances are a mess, but CMS are insisting he pays the arrears and have sent his employers a DEO, which he says will have massive implications on him. But it's his own fault he's in debt.
if he asked them to backdate it to when he was self employed and overpaying, will they take that into consideration?
Also could they take into consideration 5 years of travel costs? If so how would he be able to prove it?
He also says he is going to speak to a family mediation centre to get more access as currently i only allow him one weekend a month because he has school clubs, and birthday parties etc and i don't want him to miss out on seeing his friends. He wants to see him every other weekend, and alternate Christmas as currently he's with me Christmas and birthdays and he also wants shared travel arrangements meaning i'd have to take him up to see him, i'm on low income, i can't afford to do that, will he be able to do that?
Sorry it's long winded but any advice would be great
Since then he has done all the travelling, seeing him once or twice a month for the weekend and occasionally during the holidays. He's paid maintenance, usually around 10% of what he earns. And we kept things kinda amicable.
But problems started a few years ago, he went self employed and his earnings were irregular. Sometimes my payments were late by a few days as he was a contractor and didn't always get paid regularly and i'd have to chase him for it.
So i'd decided i'd had enough, so i contacted the CMS and got them to deal with it. Turns out he had a new job from Feb 2018 and was earning around £20k a year, but my payments never went up at all. So they have calculated that i am owed a lot in back payments dating to Feb last year. Since Feb this year he has started paying me the correct amount, but refusing to pay me any back payments.
He bases his arguments on a few things. First one being that while he was self employed between 2016 - 18, he was on low income, around £800pcm, but was still paying me £120 which is about £30 per month overpayment over 2 years.
His second argument is that he has got himself into massive debts, with credit cards, around £14k. And for the last 12 months he's been trying to pay them off, roughly £600 per month, which is why he hasn't been about to up my payments until now. Since Jan this year he has gone onto a debt management plan through stepchange, so his credit card payments have been reduced so now he is paying the correct amount per month.
His third argument is that it costs him a lot in petrol each month to see him. I moved exactly 100 miles away, and he says a 400mile round trip to see him for the weekend costs him about £70-80 in fuel, and that i should take that into consideration.
Anyway my reason for posting is, am i being unreasonable because he has shown me statements etc, i know his finances are a mess, but CMS are insisting he pays the arrears and have sent his employers a DEO, which he says will have massive implications on him. But it's his own fault he's in debt.
if he asked them to backdate it to when he was self employed and overpaying, will they take that into consideration?
Also could they take into consideration 5 years of travel costs? If so how would he be able to prove it?
He also says he is going to speak to a family mediation centre to get more access as currently i only allow him one weekend a month because he has school clubs, and birthday parties etc and i don't want him to miss out on seeing his friends. He wants to see him every other weekend, and alternate Christmas as currently he's with me Christmas and birthdays and he also wants shared travel arrangements meaning i'd have to take him up to see him, i'm on low income, i can't afford to do that, will he be able to do that?
Sorry it's long winded but any advice would be great
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Comments
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Michaela85 wrote: »Me and my ex split up about 5yrs ago, we lived together and had a son who's now 9. a year after we split, i moved down south to be nearer to my parents.
Since then he has done all the travelling, seeing him once or twice a month for the weekend and occasionally during the holidays. He's paid maintenance, usually around 10% of what he earns. And we kept things kinda amicable.
But problems started a few years ago, he went self employed and his earnings were irregular. Sometimes my payments were late by a few days as he was a contractor and didn't always get paid regularly and i'd have to chase him for it.
So i'd decided i'd had enough, so i contacted the CMS and got them to deal with it. Turns out he had a new job from Feb 2018 and was earning around £20k a year, but my payments never went up at all. So they have calculated that i am owed a lot in back payments dating to Feb last year. Since Feb this year he has started paying me the correct amount, but refusing to pay me any back payments. - As the CMS should've told you, the claim cannot be backdated. You had a private agreement and that was that.
He bases his arguments on a few things. First one being that while he was self employed between 2016 - 18, he was on low income, around £800pcm, but was still paying me £120 which is about £30 per month overpayment over 2 years. - indeed. You aren't offering to calculate the amount to your detriment. It was a private arrangement, he paid more than required during that time.
His second argument is that he has got himself into massive debts, with credit cards, around £14k. And for the last 12 months he's been trying to pay them off, roughly £600 per month, which is why he hasn't been about to up my payments until now. Since Jan this year he has gone onto a debt management plan through stepchange, so his credit card payments have been reduced so now he is paying the correct amount per month. - whilst it's not a good excuse, he is paying correctly now.
His third argument is that it costs him a lot in petrol each month to see him. I moved exactly 100 miles away, and he says a 400mile round trip to see him for the weekend costs him about £70-80 in fuel, and that i should take that into consideration. - I would kind of agree. You chose to move away. I'm sure you agree it's important for father and child to have a relationship. It would not be inappropriate for such cases for each party to cover half the costs. IE he collects child and take him home; you collect from his and bring him back
Anyway my reason for posting is, am i being unreasonable because he has shown me statements etc, i know his finances are a mess, but CMS are insisting he pays the arrears and have sent his employers a DEO, which he says will have massive implications on him. But it's his own fault he's in debt. - No idea why CMS are even contemplating this. Claims cannot be backdated.
if he asked them to backdate it to when he was self employed and overpaying, will they take that into consideration? - Like I said, claims cannot be backdated, so it's all very messy
Also could they take into consideration 5 years of travel costs? If so how would he be able to prove it? - well presumably you wouldn't argue about that aspect?
He also says he is going to speak to a family mediation centre to get more access as currently i only allow him one weekend a month because he has school clubs, and birthday parties etc and i don't want him to miss out on seeing his friends. He wants to see him every other weekend, and alternate Christmas as currently he's with me Christmas and birthdays and he also wants shared travel arrangements meaning i'd have to take him up to see him, i'm on low income, i can't afford to do that, will he be able to do that? - yes. That is very common and the courts would likely agree to at least something similar.
Sorry it's long winded but any advice would be great
I think, to be honest, you've kind of jumped the gun and shot yourself in the foot.
Payments were a few days late occasionally. Whilst frustrating you actually had a pretty good set up.
Had child most of the time, including every Christmas and Birthday. Didn't pay for travel. And it seems a more or less amicable or at least civil relationship with someone who seems to have been more or less honest.
Whilst I think morally he should've raised the amount he was paying inline with the correct figure; legally he was not obliged to do so.
I think now would be a good time to talk to him, perhaps set an hour aside next time he visits and have a frank discussion. The alternative is that he applies to court for more regular contact and typically a NRP would get every other weekend and time midweek - obviously not practical here for midweek, but the courts would be more inclined to do every other weekend I'm sure. And that each party would cover their own costs is also fairly usual.
I know you see the situation from your perspective, but a court would look at the whole picture and it doesn't look particularly good if he sees the child 24 days a year, no major celebrations and more or less keeping up to his commitments.
As is usually the case, it's far better to agree something between yourselves, as the legal process is expensive and realistically destroys otherwise civil relationships.0 -
When did you first apply to CMS to calculate payments?
As Comms69 said, CMS don’t backdate claims prior to an application.
The fact that CMS backdated a new calculation. to Feb 2018 suggests you applied before then - was your case initially direct pay and when you say “So i'd decided i'd had enough, so i contacted the CMS and got them to deal with it.“ do you mean you asked them to change it to collect and pay?
Understanding the timeline is necessary to correctly answer all your questions.I often use a tablet to post, so sometimes my posts will have random letters inserted, or entirely the wrong word if autocorrect is trying to wind me up. Hopefully you'll still know what I mean.0
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