DFD: Dread-free diary

Here we go...

I’m just under £28,000 in debt with unsecured loans, credit cards and overdrafts. I’ve got so little to show for this debt and it’s incredible how blas! my attitude towards spending this money was compared to the the frantic obsession I’ve experienced when I’ve actually focussed on what I’ve done.

I’ve spent probably 2 years depressed and anxious about the ever-growing debts. The moments of blind panic have been plentiful, as have the nights of no sleep while I’ve been wracked which a churning stomach.

I was on the fence when I contacted Stepchange about a debt management plan. I wasn’t really sure how I should feel. I knew I didn’t have to feel ashamed or embarrassed but was it wrong to feel relieved? I just wasn’t sure. But when my DMP didn’t get off to the best start, I was again fraught with worry.

And then one day, today I guess, I realised: what does worrying bring to the table? What does my stress solve? How much closer or even further away am I from my DFD by letting depression eat away at me??

Maybe it’s that the sun is shining and I’m having a totally nice Saturday without spending a penny in the park. But after so long, I’ve realised that staying positive will mean I have the same journey...I’ll just be happier. It seems so simple and maybe I am being naive, but I’ve decided now that I’m just going to be positive.

Here are some of the positive things that are happening right now:

* I’ve registered with Stepchange, agreed and a budget and a repayment plan. It’s a long haul but it’s a plan, nevertheless.
* My plan was slightly derailed but I’ve got online to review my budget and agreed a new date to start the plan. This has really reassured me.
* When I’m not sure of myself, I’ve got access to a wealth of information right here on MSE, where I can learn from people who prove you can get out of the other side in one pieces.
* Two of my debts have been sold on - NatWest to Westcott and Capital One to FredPay. I don’t know anything about either of these companies but I logged into FredPay and was able to send an message explaining my new start date for repayments and the simplicity was comforting!
* I’ve agreed a move with work which will hopefully slash my living costs. This mean less worry about repayments and possibly being able to may a little more each month.
* Moving is a new start. It’s a chance to change my habits without people wondering why. It’s a chance to focus on new things I can do at home (like cooking properly) without people saying ‘No, we’ll just eat out!’. I’m not going to change, but I’m going to improve and that’s exciting.
* I can leave all my negative memories and feelings behind. I can commit to attacking my debts with positivity and knowing that I don’t need much to make myself happy, just the knowledge that I can make it happen.

Happy diary writing, everyone. I won’t ramble so much next time*


(*no promises).
«13

Comments

  • Slytherin
    Slytherin Posts: 57 Forumite
    Sorry for all the spelling errors. iPhone and fat fingers.... c!!!8217;est la vie.
  • redofromstart
    redofromstart Posts: 4,062
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    Happy new diary, and good luck with it all. The location move will hopefully help, get its easier to change habits without people commenting.
  • Slytherin
    Slytherin Posts: 57 Forumite
    Thank you, redofromstart.

    And I couldn’t agree more - I currently live in London which is very expensive but also, there is definitely an expectation about how you should live as a single person of my age. It’s so unrealistic for me right now. I’ve had my fun and it’s time to move on.
  • beanielou
    beanielou Posts: 89,817
    Academoney Grad I'm a Volunteer Ambassador Mortgage-free Glee! Name Dropper
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    Happy shiny new diary :)
    I am a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Mortgage Free Wannabe & Local Money Saving Scotland & Disability Money Matters. If you need any help on those boards, do let me know.Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any post you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button , or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own & not the official line of Money Saving Expert.

    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/14.**Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** MFW. Finally mortgage free O2/ 2021****
    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.

    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    ***Keep plodding*** Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    One debt remaining. Home improvement loan.
  • Slytherin
    Slytherin Posts: 57 Forumite
    This evening, I!!!8217;ve partly been watching old eps of Bake Off on my friend!!!8217;s Netflix (borrowing a password will save me about £70 a year!) but I!!!8217;ve also been roughly calculating what my salary will be without London weighting, researching travel costs in the local area where I!!!8217;ll be moving to and just generally imagining how my budget will be. It!!!8217;s all hypothetical at the moment as I don!!!8217;t yet have firm figures for wages and rent but it looks very positive! I think for the first couple of months, I!!!8217;ll be conservative with reviewing my DMP as I!!!8217;m expecting that I may need to buy some new house hold items etc and also, I may need driving lessons as I!!!8217;m in a good position professionally for a promotion but most of the opportunities require a driving licence. Regardless, I!!!8217;m confident I!!!8217;ll be able to pay more
  • Slytherin
    Slytherin Posts: 57 Forumite
    (Why do those numbers and exclamation marks keep appearing?!)
  • redofromstart
    redofromstart Posts: 4,062
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    Slytherin wrote: »
    (Why do those numbers and exclamation marks keep appearing?!)

    Its an IoS thing apparently, go to settings, general, keyboard and turn off 'smart punctuation' and that sorts it. Turns it off for everything though.
  • Slytherin
    Slytherin Posts: 57 Forumite
    Thanks for that, I've changed the settings now.


    Today and indeed the past couple/next couple of days have been NSD. I was basically !!!!!!ed out of nearly everything in my bank account by booking.com - tip for you: don't expect 'no prepayment and pay on arrival' to actually mean that! Not only did they leave me with just £30 in the bank two weeks before payday, they have been totally useless in helping me recoup the money. In fact, they have ignored all of my emails although the property in question have agreed to refund me.

    Thankfully, if there is ever a time to be skint then it's now. Gym is already paid for so I've spent a fair whack of my time there and loafing around in the sunshine at the park is also free. It's also been a good chance to use up food that's been in the freezer for a while.
  • Slytherin
    Slytherin Posts: 57 Forumite
    When the sun went in, I decided to have a bit of a clear out and have been going through a lot of the correspondence I have regarding my debt. It's a pretty terrifying pile of letters that I haven't looked through in a while.

    Quite a lot has changed since these started to arrive, though. I have actually realised that 3 and not 2 of my debts have been sold on.

    £2000 OD from Natwest has gone to Westcot.

    £3300 CC from Capital One one to Fredrickson.

    £5000 CC from Barclaycard to Arvato.

    The only creditor that hasn't sold anything on is Nationwide. I owe them about £15000 but I've noticed that part of that debt hasn't been added to my DMP so that's a job for tomorrow when I can get on to a desktop PC.

    This means I can get rid of a lot of letters and that stressful pile of papers is going to be a lot smaller. The debt is still the same but it feels like everything is starting to calm down a little. Yay.
  • UncannyScot
    UncannyScot Posts: 2,070
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    Hi sounds like you've had your LBM (Light Bulb Moment) :D

    Just over a year ago I was where you are...

    You'll find the folks on here to be VERY supportive.

    Looking forward to following your journey :D
    BUGGRITMILLENIUMHANDANDSHRIMP I TOLD EM! - Foul Ole Ron
    It is important that we know where we come from, because if you do not know where you come from, then you do not know where you are, and if you don't know where you are, then you don't know where you are going. If you don't know where you're going, you're probably going wrong.
    R.I.P. T.P.
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