What is your attitude to discussing your finances generally?
Comments
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I am comfortable to talk about my finances, I just don't think I know anybody who I can talk to about them with the exception of a couple of friends who work in finance and would understand. I feel that the people on this forum are a rare breed - people who put managing finances in the same category as keeping their house clean or arriving at work on time (or not!)
I think if I told most people about my savings, investments, mortgage overpayments etc. the response from most would either be jealousy or just seeing it as an opportunity to take the high ground by saying something like "i'm not that interested in money."
I am currently in the odd situation (like others) of being misunderstood for the sensible way I manage my finances. My partners mother is of the opinion that my finances are a risk to my partner. She bases this is on how reluctant I am to spend money on expensive holidays, meals out etc. and therefore I mustn't have much money. She doesn't understand that I don't have much money because I choose to spend most of my money on assets and so my wealth is far greater than my lifestyle implies. I don't see how I can ever explain this without risking causing offence.0 -
There,s an old saying if you divided all the wealth in the world equally amongst the population, within a year you would have rich and poor people again.
I think this is probably true. Everybody manages their money differently and many of those who sit in judgement against the better off are those who are not necessarily from a poorer background but who are less good at managing their finances efficiently.0 -
None of my friends know how much I get paid per hour, is that strange? I know how much a couple of my friends get paid but its because they have disclosed the information – I wasn’t brought up to do that. My parents know.
I don’t discuss hourly rates at work, none of us do?
My parents also know approx. how much I have in savings, I wouldn’t disclose this with friends? In other news Id rather they thought I was skint, as I have seen situations before when friends have lent money to not so close friends and haven’t got it back, im in a situation at the moment where I am travelling soon with 2 other friends, one I wouldn’t hesitate to pay for her ticket as she would sit on her phone and transfer there and then the other one I wouldn’t dare pay for her ticket as she is renowned for not paying people back0 -
I'm very open here & find this helps people to offer relevant thoughts and advice, for which I have been really grateful.
But in real life, I say nothing about money. I socialise and work with people who I suspect have a very different sort of financial set up and world view. Well maybe they do, maybe they don't - I don't want to know. Can't see any good coming from starting that sort of conversation in real life, just judgement. I also try to live a lifestyle which does not give too much away.0 -
None of my friends know how much I get paid per hour, is that strange? I know how much a couple of my friends get paid but its because they have disclosed the information – I wasn’t brought up to do that. My parents know.
I don’t discuss hourly rates at work, none of us do?
My parents also know approx. how much I have in savings, I wouldn’t disclose this with friends? In other news Id rather they thought I was skint, as I have seen situations before when friends have lent money to not so close friends and haven’t got it back, im in a situation at the moment where I am travelling soon with 2 other friends, one I wouldn’t hesitate to pay for her ticket as she would sit on her phone and transfer there and then the other one I wouldn’t dare pay for her ticket as she is renowned for not paying people back
I absolutely agree with this. I often gently give the impression I'm struggling, as it prevents awkward situations.0 -
totally! nahh im skint is an answer im quite happy to give sometimes!longleggedhair wrote: »I absolutely agree with this. I often gently give the impression I'm struggling, as it prevents awkward situations.0 -
my husband,a side of the family had a very poor record of managing finances and because we were always very frugal with our finances there was a continual sense of entitlement that we would always be there to bail them out financially. We quickly decided that our finances would be kept to ourselves. I think that was resented but many subsequent incidents
proved that to be a wise move.
My OH and I are the only people who know what our assets are, apart from a financial advisor and that,s the way it's going to stay. These days there are too many people out there with a begging bowl. Also over the years, there seems to be a growing divide between between the "haves" and the "have nots ". Some of it is due to bad luck, a poor start in life or misfortune but there are also a lot of people who are poor at managing their income and choose to live a more extravagant lifestyle than they can afford.
We accumulated our savings by making a deliberate choice about how we wanted to live and were prepared to sacrifice some luxuries in earlier life for a comfortable retirement. I don't think people can have their cake and eat it but being too open about your finances could end up with you being put in an uncomfortable position by friends or family members who automatically think that their close affiliation with you entitles them to an automatic bailout.
This 100%!!!!!
We all earn money and pay income tax on it. The rest is ours to do with as we see fit, we make free choices. Some of my acquaintances choose to spend all their money on stuff, I choose to spend mine on experiences that enrich my life and I also save a fair bit.
The number of times I've heard envious remarks about "going on ANOTHER holiday" from those same acquaintances!!! Some of whom are colleagues who earn the same as I do!
If they knew I had significant savings, I dread to think what their reaction would be. So I don't talk about it. But, if challenged, I'd point out that I've made choices and so have they. I haven't been given or inherited a penny - it's all savings. I have deferred consumption in the present to have a more secure future.
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longleggedhair wrote: »I absolutely agree with this. I often gently give the impression I'm struggling, as it prevents awkward situations.totally! nahh im skint is an answer im quite happy to give sometimes!
I'm the same to be honest. I am financially in a very lucky position that I can save most of my salary as my job gives me accommodation with bills mostly paid. However, my friends are unfortunately not in such a lucky position. I don't brag about my savings. I'm not a flashy person, so it looks like we are all on the same boat - and therefore stops any awkwardness when it comes to the end of the month.
A couple of times i've given money because one of my best mates is skint and needs money for food at the end of the month - but thats not lending it. I wouldn't expect it back.0 -
What has shocked us over the years has been the bitter way others have treated us as, while they were spending up to the hilt and borrowing, they have cast us in the role of ‘rich villains’ as if we had been given the money we earned.
It never stops disappointing me just how many people think this way. I am on Facebook for various reasons, and some of the people that I know through shared interests sadly display this kind of thinking.
These are the kind of people who, if they read about someone who has worked hard, had a responsible job and managed to get themselves into a position where most people would regard them as "rich" (think of stories about company CEOs, MPs with prior successful businesses, that kind of thing), their immediate thoughts and comments are how it's "obscene" that the person gets paid so much, or has so much of a bonus, or whatever, and then talk about how it should be taken away from them somehow. My thought on reading the same stuff is "good on them, I wonder how I can do something similar, even on a fraction of the scale."
I don't really talk about finances, mainly because I don't really have anyone to talk to about them. Sure, I have the odd conversation about interest rates and so on, but it doesn't go any further than that. But then I have a very small social circle, don't work in an office with other people any more, so conversation of most kinds is quite limited.0 -
I enjoy discussing finances but find that there are very few people who want to listen. I'm reminded of this blog post by RIT:
http://www.retirementinvestingtoday.com/2016/08/naive-victim-or-just-plain-irresponsible.html0
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