How small is too small to raise a baby? (For future reference)

Charleyalmostking
Charleyalmostking Posts: 148 Forumite
I'm not pregnant or looking to have a baby yet but me and my fiance have been talking about having our own little family a lot recently and I "yearn" to have his kids more and more.

He'd like to be married first which I understand and respect as his parent's aren't married themselves but 'practically married' as they have been together since they were teens (their now in their 40's) and have been engaged for many years. And I want them to have his name.

But I was just having lots of thoughts about starting a family.

I was thinking ; Do we save for a house deposit and buy a house together before we have a baby

or do we just try for a baby in the current house we are in?

My fiance isn't fussed about which comes first . He just wants to marry me before.
He keeps saying multiple times a day he wants my babies (lol)

But I'm just asking out of curiosity ; how small would be too small to raise a child? Our house is 42meter squared.

We have an okay sized Living room but a very small kitchen and our bedroom can fit 2 desks & a king sized bed in it and has built in storage cupboards that we use as wardrobes.

Our bathroom is a small square with little storage room however we do have a good sized space storage cupboard under the stairs.

We have a shared back garden with our neighbors with no fence (we aren't allowed to put one up as far as I'm aware but it doesn't bother us anyway... we respect each others "sides")

I'm sure many people have coped in tiny rooms but I always get scared about if i can provide for them in the size we have. Funny though, as I work with kids. :rotfl:

Also; not asking to rush into anything because of my past family issues but it's just been on my mind a lot and just wanna clear my worries up.

[purplesignup][/purplesignup]
Wedding Fund: £1107.23 / £2,500 Xmas'18: £100.00 / £300.00 Emergency Fund: £100.00 / £1,000H2B ISA: £30.50
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Comments

  • svain
    svain Posts: 516
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    Not impossible in a 1 bed place .... but much easier/nice environment if you have at least a second bedroom
  • If your parents are only in their 40s - then you are certainly young enough to "have time on your side".

    Get the house first - then have a baby or two if you want.

    I never think it's very fair to a child to be living in short-term rented accommodation, then move to other short-term rented accommodtion and so on. They need stability - fixed home/fixed school/chance to make friends.
  • We had our son when we had a 2 bedroom bungalow which in reality wasn't much bigger than a 2 bedroom flat.

    As a newborn it was bearable but soon his stuff overran the place.

    One solution as to which comes first maybe to put aside the difference in income between before & after children and see how easy it would be to save for a bigger deposit / pay a bigger mortgage
  • pollypenny
    pollypenny Posts: 29,392
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    Here we go again. Mountain out of molehill or bridge crossing before it is even in sight.
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
  • Bosscout
    Bosscout Posts: 94 Forumite
    We moved first, but that's because we couldn't possibly have fitted a cot or bed in our tiny flat, and it's easier to get a mortgage with no dependents! But you sound like you have more space.

    Still, never too early to start saving if you think you want to buy a place sometime soon. Or for having a child.
  • DigForVictory
    DigForVictory Posts: 11,903
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    In the perfect world you would both marry & have a bigger space of your own first.
    In fact, life's short, pregnancy is rarely immediate But finances can be precarious things.

    How does fiancee feel about a registry office bash as soon as you're past 12 weeks? A bit white around the eyes?

    Or you changing your name to his, without "benefit of clergy" & other formalities but starting with telling the banks that wef X date you wish to be known as Q. (Not sure they'll cooperate, and a deed poll chit may help there or it may not - but the registrars won't give you as much hassle.)

    Yoru parents may feel somewhat whiplashed. I'm hoping they are still in the picture & aware of your hopes dreams & plans?

    If fiance genuinely wants to be a poppa, then I'd say start saving. (No idea how old you are, but presuming old enough not to be heading into these waters for the really stupid reasons.) So long as you are under 28, working, & healthy - do not succumb to the broody just yet but use his croonings (which I have to say are charming but mere words - it isn't him that'll be coping with morning sickness or the delivery suite, after all) to spur You Both to further money saving exertions.

    You work with children - you know the volume of storage space let alone floor area per child. I managed 3 under 5 in a two bed terrace but we moved (Never Again) to a much bigger place & it's still got elbow room even now they are lanky teenagers.

    Very best of luck!
  • z1a
    z1a Posts: 2,522
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    "But I'm just asking out of curiosity ; how small would be too small to raise a child? Our house is 42meter squared."

    That's huge - 1764 square metres.
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 34,582
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    I think you should forget about the hassles with your family, concentrate on the wedding you're planning and think about having a family somewhat latter.


    From reading your threads, you seem somewhat obsessive.
  • Tabbytabitha
    Tabbytabitha Posts: 4,684
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    z1a wrote: »
    "But I'm just asking out of curiosity ; how small would be too small to raise a child? Our house is 42meter squared."

    That's huge - 1764 square metres.

    :rotfl::rotfl:
  • I'm not too sure where you are getting at or what you mean DigForVictory?

    We'll defo wait for at least 6 months before having kids,
    hes okay with it, i'm waiting until married any way... we're keeping our names until we are married

    my parents know i want kids, even before i met my fiance ,
    they don't really care like they say it's my life not theirs...they aren't fussed if we get married or have kids first etc. my mum only got married because she got pregnant before marriage and my dad had to prove to my grandad ... he said to my dad "well,what are you going to do?" his response was to get married...
    Wedding Fund: £1107.23 / £2,500 Xmas'18: £100.00 / £300.00 Emergency Fund: £100.00 / £1,000H2B ISA: £30.50
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