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  • FIRST POST
    • robowen
    • By robowen 4th Feb 06, 6:47 PM
    • 2,970Posts
    • 1,725Thanks
    robowen
    Beethoven Joke.
    • #1
    • 4th Feb 06, 6:47 PM
    Beethoven Joke. 4th Feb 06 at 6:47 PM
    A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward ! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.
    By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward. Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.

    By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward. Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music. "Don't you get it?" the caretaker says incredulously.
    .
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    .
    "He's decomposing!"


    rob
    If only everything in life was as reliable...AS ME !!
    robowen 5/6/2005©

    ''Never take an idiot anywhere with you. You'll always find one when you get there.''
Page 3
  • Avoriaz
    Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese.….”
    Originally posted by Nytehawk
    That is from your signature.

    There are more people in China today than there were in the whole world 150 years ago.

    Makes you think.
  • vik6525
    Can I play??? Its my little ones joke, but i love it...

    Why did the baker have smelly hands?


















    cause he kneaded a poo.....
    You lied to me Edward. There IS a Swansea. And other places.....

    *I have done reading too*
    *I have done geography as well*
  • wurzelsar


    I see this humour, it's a Swansea thing!! Vik and Mazz.:rolleyes:

    Good 'un Vik!

    Like the new avi BTW Mazz, second hand is it? One careful lady owner?
    I wish you......
    A sunbeam to warm you,
    A moonbeam to charm you,
    A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.
    • Mistyang
    • By Mistyang 10th Oct 07, 8:11 PM
    • 19,895 Posts
    • 43,443 Thanks
    Mistyang
    eeh Vik he he he...
    And I have done reading & geography.. too !
    Dont break my heart...my miley smiley cyrus heart
    Crazy Nutters Member No 1067
    Bad Mothers Member No. 153 and Mummy to the lovely girls & MSE Nanna...
  • Nytehawk
    Can I play??? Its my little ones joke, but i love it...

    Why did the baker have smelly hands?




















    cause he kneaded a poo.....
    Originally posted by vik6525
    That's so naughty..................... If I was an MSE Sky Marshall I would ban you for that
  • Nytehawk
    Breaking News~Breaking News~Breaking News
    Police in Liverpool have caught and arrested 3 out of 4 Muslim terrorists

    Bin Stealin,~~~ Bin Carjackin,~~~ Bin Burglin

    But the Scouser Police are concerned that one of the terrorist's could still be out there............................


    Bin Workin
    • bones61
    • By bones61 10th Oct 07, 9:17 PM
    • 1,760 Posts
    • 7,998 Thanks
    bones61
    Plumber gets caught on "Builders from Hell" shagging house owner’s dog on cctv.
    The woman tries to sue him but judge dismisses the case as the plumber was corgi registered!
  • Nytehawk
    Euro English

    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

    As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
    spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
    The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
    troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
  • vik6525
    That's so naughty..................... If I was an MSE Sky Marshall I would ban you for that
    Originally posted by Nytehawk
    my 7 year old told me that ill have you know!!!
    You lied to me Edward. There IS a Swansea. And other places.....

    *I have done reading too*
    *I have done geography as well*
    • bones61
    • By bones61 10th Oct 07, 9:42 PM
    • 1,760 Posts
    • 7,998 Thanks
    bones61
    Not to every ones taste but....

    Zubu is a little 5 year old orphan boy in GonnaWooboo
    He has only 1 leg and 1 arm and has to cycle 10 miles to school every day.
    For just a small donation of £2.50
    you can download the video....
    it's f****g hilarious
  • Nytehawk
    That is from your signature.

    There are more people in China today than there were in the whole world 150 years ago.

    Makes you think.
    Originally posted by Avoriaz
    Thank you for reminding me...... I have a good relationship with my local Chinese Takeaway who has also contributed to a few of my signatures.... so long as I buy a portion of Beansprouts
    • bones61
    • By bones61 10th Oct 07, 9:43 PM
    • 1,760 Posts
    • 7,998 Thanks
    bones61
    my 7 year old told me that ill have you know!!!
    Originally posted by vik6525
    well tell him he's banned from MSE
  • wurzelsar
    Plumber gets caught on "Builders from Hell" shagging house owner’s dog on cctv.
    The woman tries to sue him but judge dismisses the case as the plumber was corgi registered!
    Originally posted by bones61
    I wish you......
    A sunbeam to warm you,
    A moonbeam to charm you,
    A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.
  • vik6525
    well tell him he's banned from MSE
    Originally posted by bones61
    Oh im so proud! thats one step closer to his asbo....
    You lied to me Edward. There IS a Swansea. And other places.....

    *I have done reading too*
    *I have done geography as well*
  • Nytehawk
    Oh im so proud! thats one step closer to his asbo....
    Originally posted by vik6525
    You are the most naughtiest vik6525 I have ever come across...... I can see your heading for the (Superglue) naughty step...... and serves you right, are you seeing this Whippy :confused:

    How can you tell an alcoholic?

    She's the one who has had one more drink than you.
    • MrsMondragon
    • By MrsMondragon 10th Oct 07, 9:52 PM
    • 1,855 Posts
    • 3,662 Thanks
    MrsMondragon
    Hubby tells wife, "you have a BIG bum like a tandoor." At night he asks his wife to have sex "forget it she says, why light a big tandoor for one SMALL kebab!"
  • wurzelsar
    You are the most naughtiest vik6525 I have ever come across...... I can see your heading for the (Superglue) naughty step...... and serves you right, are you seeing this Whippy :confused:

    How can you tell an alcoholic?

    She's the one who has had one more drink than you.
    Originally posted by Nytehawk
    Yes Mazz, I've seen it! But she's living in Swansea, what hope is there?!:confused:

    Maybe MSE asbo's are the answer............Hmm.
    I wish you......
    A sunbeam to warm you,
    A moonbeam to charm you,
    A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.
    • MrsMondragon
    • By MrsMondragon 10th Oct 07, 9:59 PM
    • 1,855 Posts
    • 3,662 Thanks
    MrsMondragon
    3 naked men in a sauna, an American, a Japanese and an Irishman. They heard a beeping sound, the American touches his forearm and says "thats my pager, I have a microchip under the skin of my arm," next a phone rings and the Japanese man lifts his palm too his ear and says "I have a microchip in my hand," Irishman feeling rather low tech went to the toilet and came back with toilet paper hanging from his a**, he says "O Jaysus would you look at that, im getting a fax."
  • Nytehawk
    3 naked men in a sauna, an American, a Japanese and an Irishman. They heard a beeping sound, the American touches his forearm and says "thats my pager, I have a microchip under the skin of my arm," next a phone rings and the Japanese man lifts his palm too his ear and says "I have a microchip in my hand," Irishman feeling rather low tech went to the toilet and came back with toilet paper hanging from his a**, he says "O Jaysus would you look at that, im getting a fax."
    Originally posted by MrsMondragon
    Shame on you MrsMondragon.........
    • Quasar
    • By Quasar 10th Oct 07, 10:13 PM
    • 114,815 Posts
    • 238,205 Thanks
    Quasar
    An elderly couple in nursing home feel youthful and randy. He grabs her one moment they're alone and he tells her he wants to give her one. She says "Oh my, please be careful, I have acute angina". He says "Thank god for that, cos your t1ts are awful".

    Im looking for a man - a real man, one who gets home, slams his fist on the table and thunders,"Woman, run the hot water, I want to do the dishes!"
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