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  • FIRST POST
    • robowen
    • By robowen 4th Feb 06, 6:47 PM
    • 2,970Posts
    • 1,725Thanks
    robowen
    Beethoven Joke.
    • #1
    • 4th Feb 06, 6:47 PM
    Beethoven Joke. 4th Feb 06 at 6:47 PM
    A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward ! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.
    By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward. Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.

    By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward. Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music. "Don't you get it?" the caretaker says incredulously.
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    "He's decomposing!"


    rob
    If only everything in life was as reliable...AS ME !!
    robowen 5/6/2005©

    ''Never take an idiot anywhere with you. You'll always find one when you get there.''
Page 2
  • Nytehawk


    Good one Mazz. How's you?
    Originally posted by wurzelsar
    Ok ta!! Just getting ready for work.......... Speak later
  • wurzelsar
    Ok ta!! Just getting ready for work.......... Speak later
    Originally posted by Nytehawk
    Take care, be good.
    I wish you......
    A sunbeam to warm you,
    A moonbeam to charm you,
    A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.
    • Mistyang
    • By Mistyang 9th Oct 07, 7:30 PM
    • 19,895 Posts
    • 43,443 Thanks
    Mistyang
    good un Mazz, dont work too hard xx
    And I have done reading & geography.. too !
    Dont break my heart...my miley smiley cyrus heart
    Crazy Nutters Member No 1067
    Bad Mothers Member No. 153 and Mummy to the lovely girls & MSE Nanna...
  • Nytehawk
    After the heavy rain of the last 36 hours......
    Original shaggy dog story.

    In times of old when Knights were bold..........it was the done thing to extend hospitality to any wandering Knight that appeared at your castle. However one wet and stormy knight the sentry on duty at Camelot saw a Knight riding up to the door on a very large shaggy dog. This rather unerved him as he should have been on a horse so he refused him entry and told him to try elsewhere.
    "what " cried the bedraggeled traveller




    "How could you leave a Knight out on a dog like this" !!
    • Mistyang
    • By Mistyang 10th Oct 07, 6:11 PM
    • 19,895 Posts
    • 43,443 Thanks
    Mistyang
    oh you are up here in a sticky spot now eh Mazz
    good joke....he he
    And I have done reading & geography.. too !
    Dont break my heart...my miley smiley cyrus heart
    Crazy Nutters Member No 1067
    Bad Mothers Member No. 153 and Mummy to the lovely girls & MSE Nanna...
  • wurzelsar


    Nice to see you back Mazzkins!
    Last edited by wurzelsar; 10-10-2007 at 6:26 PM.
    I wish you......
    A sunbeam to warm you,
    A moonbeam to charm you,
    A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.
    • Mistyang
    • By Mistyang 10th Oct 07, 6:20 PM
    • 19,895 Posts
    • 43,443 Thanks
    Mistyang
    Hello Sarah have you had a nice day? xx
    And I have done reading & geography.. too !
    Dont break my heart...my miley smiley cyrus heart
    Crazy Nutters Member No 1067
    Bad Mothers Member No. 153 and Mummy to the lovely girls & MSE Nanna...
  • wurzelsar
    Hi Ang.

    Yes fine thanks, been to Ikea Cardiff today, spent too much then called back in the Designer shopping outlet on the way back and spent more.

    Feeling so tired now and the gastritis is playing up again.
    Could be worse though, mustn't grumble.

    Have you done any more shopping for that special day?
    I wish you......
    A sunbeam to warm you,
    A moonbeam to charm you,
    A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.
  • Nytehawk
    oh you are up here in a sticky spot now eh Mazz
    good joke....he he
    Originally posted by Mistyang
    Hi Misty and your Whippy playmate

    No I work for Pickfords................ They just move me wherever they want me, I was in the Arms earlier now I've been demoted to the funny FARM thread
  • Nytehawk
    Just One Cornetto.......
    It takes an Italian Man to make a Woman feel like a Woman…

    On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The
    turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck
    by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.

    Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. “I’m too young to die,” she
    wails. Then she yells, “Well, if I’m going to die, I want my last minutes on
    earth to be memorable! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like
    a WOMAN?”

    For a moment there is silence.. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all
    stared, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

    Then an Italian man stands up in the rear of the plane. He is gorgeous : tall,
    well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes.

    He starts to walk slowly up the aisle,unbuttoning his shirt…..one button at a
    time. ……

    No one moves. ……

    He removes his shirt. …….

    Muscles ripple across his chest. …..

    She gasps………..

    He whispers: …….

    “Iron this, and get me something to eat….”
  • Nytehawk
    Humour Thread........NH
    Feel free to add your own friendly comments or humour stories here... We could start a Book

    Those Greedy Irish.....

    Two Irish men walking down a High St, Paddy say to Shamus "Look, in the shop window Trousers 50p a pair, shirts 50p each, and suits only £1.

    Right Shamus says, what we will do is buy a car full take it home and sell it, but when we go into the shop don't let on we are going to sell it, or they may not sell it to us.

    After entering the shop Shamus says to the guy behind the counter, Well take 100 shirts, 100 pairs of trews and 50 suits.

    "You can't do that" says the shop keeper. Paddy thinking they have been rumbled, says "They are just for us, we are stocking up our wardrobe".

    "I'm sorry" says the shop keeper, "I can't help you"

    "And why not"? says Paddy.

    "Because this is a Dry Cleaners" says the shop keeper!
  • wurzelsar
    I thought I'd clicked on the wrong forum. I was right then! It was in the Arms.

    Why was it moved back?

    Can we have just the one in the Arms please, MSE team?:confused:
    I wish you......
    A sunbeam to warm you,
    A moonbeam to charm you,
    A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.
  • Nytehawk
    Ooooops here's Another.................

    The new supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh

    Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

    When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh hay.

    When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

    The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.

    I don't buy toilet paper there any more... ...
    • Mistyang
    • By Mistyang 10th Oct 07, 7:51 PM
    • 19,895 Posts
    • 43,443 Thanks
    Mistyang
    lol Mazz....I could of sworn earlier thr joke thread was in the arms, now wheres it gone:confused:
    And I have done reading & geography.. too !
    Dont break my heart...my miley smiley cyrus heart
    Crazy Nutters Member No 1067
    Bad Mothers Member No. 153 and Mummy to the lovely girls & MSE Nanna...
  • fudgem
    cow from Wisconsin


    The only cow in a small town in Arkansas stopped giving milk.

    The people did some research and found they could buy a cow up in Antigo, Wisconsin, for $200.00.

    They bought the cow from Wisconsin and the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were pleased and very happy.

    They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again. They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest.

    The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet! , who was very wise, what to do.

    They told the Vet what was happening. "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she walks away to the other side." The Vet thinks about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow in Wisconsin?"

    The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they bought the cow. "You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow in Wisconsin?" The Vet replied with a sigh and a distant look in his eyes, "My wife is from Wisconsin."
    • stuart1266
    • By stuart1266 10th Oct 07, 7:52 PM
    • 6,382 Posts
    • 6,280 Thanks
    stuart1266
    Hi Ang.

    Yes fine thanks, been to Ikea Cardiff today, spent too much then called back in the Designer shopping outlet on the way back and spent more.

    Feeling so tired now and the gastritis is playing up again.
    Could be worse though, mustn't grumble.
    Originally posted by wurzelsar
    I've got to say.....this comment does nothing for your avatar!!
    Nothing can compare
    To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me
  • wurzelsar


    Oh I've missed the humour on the Arms so much. Ta Mazzkins.xx
    I wish you......
    A sunbeam to warm you,
    A moonbeam to charm you,
    A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.
    • Mistyang
    • By Mistyang 10th Oct 07, 7:54 PM
    • 19,895 Posts
    • 43,443 Thanks
    Mistyang


    Oh I've missed the humour on the Arms so much. Ta Mazzkins.xx
    Originally posted by wurzelsar
    ditto.....me too ta Mazz xx
    And I have done reading & geography.. too !
    Dont break my heart...my miley smiley cyrus heart
    Crazy Nutters Member No 1067
    Bad Mothers Member No. 153 and Mummy to the lovely girls & MSE Nanna...
  • Nytehawk
    ditto.....me too ta Mazz xx
    Originally posted by Mistyang

    Thank you all for the nioce words
    I used to work for Pickfords....... So I get moved around a bit BUT hopefully this will be where we are all left alone..... And with humour in mind

    CHICKEN AT A CHINESE RESTAURANT
    A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise". The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

    Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

    "Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.
    He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.

    Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.
    "Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?"
    The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."
    You're going to love this.................... .
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    Ah... so sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck"
    • Mistyang
    • By Mistyang 10th Oct 07, 7:59 PM
    • 19,895 Posts
    • 43,443 Thanks
    Mistyang
    And I have done reading & geography.. too !
    Dont break my heart...my miley smiley cyrus heart
    Crazy Nutters Member No 1067
    Bad Mothers Member No. 153 and Mummy to the lovely girls & MSE Nanna...
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