Please help me regarding access to my son.
Comments
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Can I advise that I did enter the property with my ex partners agreement and not otherwise. Also we had verbally agree on which items I would remove, once the items were removed she claimed I had taken them without consent.
That was your biggest mistake. Make sure its in a text or a e-mail what you agree to.
As others wise it gets in to the he said/she said stuff arena. And you then have proof to back you up.
I really do wish when people split that acted like adults. Its get bitter and twisted. And when there are children involved it million times worse.
Yours
Calley xHope for everything and expect nothing!!!
Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz
If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin0 -
Does she work? If she is in a position to pay the mortgage and maybe buy you out it sounds like she does. At the moment it reads as though you are demanding access on the days you are not at work, regardless of her working pattern, and indeed of the working pattern she might have if able to arrange shared custody around her work.But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,Had the whole of their cash in his care.
Lewis Carroll0 -
theoretica wrote: »Does she work? If she is in a position to pay the mortgage and maybe buy you out it sounds like she does. At the moment it reads as though you are demanding access on the days you are not at work, regardless of her working pattern, and indeed of the working pattern she might have if able to arrange shared custody around her work.
Firstly I'm not "demanding" anything, I'm trying to come to an agreement regarding fair access for my son and ideally would prefer 50% custody (although I concede this is unlikely). Yes she does work full time as I do however she refuses to disclose what she is wanting to do regarding the house now the valuations are back. Clearly I want to move on with my life and I can't do that whilst stuck in a mortgage with someone who doesn't want to move things forward sensibly, I also have two car loans with her which need re-financing (they are for two vehicles) or clearing off with the sale of the cars.0 -
That was your biggest mistake. Make sure its in a text or a e-mail what you agree to.
As others wise it gets in to the he said/she said stuff arena. And you then have proof to back you up.
I really do wish when people split that acted like adults. Its get bitter and twisted. And when there are children involved it million times worse.
Yours
Calley x
Totally agree but unfortunately she has a bad habit of not sticking to agreements.0 -
Sunny_Intervals wrote: »I think I must be misreading something. You took back presents? And you consider a receipt proof that you still own something you gave as a gift? Or are these presents you gave your son that you want to store in your new home for his use?
We agreed that I would pay for my sons presents and she would pay for my step daughters. I removed them so that I could give my son his presents from me at my new place so he has his "christmas" with me one day and her on christmas day. Just to add I've had to instigate mediation (initial meeting) due to the fact she refuses to discuss or wish to resolve anything. She states she will attend mediation so hopefully this will go some way to making the situation at little less hostile.0 -
I’ll update the thread once mediation has taken place.
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Totally agree but unfortunately she has a bad habit of not sticking to agreements.
Does not matter if she sticks to them or not. At least if they are in a written form you have the proof so she wont be able to say I never agreed to that.
So if you ever have to go to court etc you have proof.
Yours
CalleyHope for everything and expect nothing!!!
Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz
If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin0 -
Does not matter if she sticks to them or not. At least if they are in a written form you have the proof so she wont be able to say I never agreed to that.
So if you ever have to go to court etc you have proof.
Yours
Calley
This is what I'm trying to achieve. I'm slowly but surely getting there with it but I think mediation may give some clarity as going to court is obviously a last resort.0 -
I would suggest that before you attend mediation you write down a clear, detailed proposal for child arrangements covering all aspects of your son's life - ie:
How often the children will be with each parent during the school week
How the weekends are shared
Arrangements for Christmas, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, birthdays etc
Arrangements for school holidays, bank holidays and inset days
Arrangements for school events and parents' evenings
How you will communicate with each other and the children when they are with the other parent
Arrangements for medical and dental appointments
Who has responsibility for specific decision making, including clarity over which decisions require joint approval
The process for dispute resolution
Arrangements regarding religious and faith based activities
Arrangements for special family events
Arrangements relating to contact time with grandparents and other family members
This will show you have put a great deal of thought into the best arrangements for your child, with your child's welfare at the very heart of your proposal. It will also give you and your ex a base from which to start discussions.0 -
I would suggest that before you attend mediation you write down a clear, detailed proposal for child arrangements covering all aspects of your son's life - ie:
Slightly different perspective from myself - as you know I'm in a similar boat - I would write down my absolute minimum and my desired outcome.
How often the children will be with each parent during the school week
How the weekends are shared
Arrangements for Christmas, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, birthdays etc
Arrangements for school holidays, bank holidays and inset days
Arrangements for school events and parents' evenings
How you will communicate with each other and the children when they are with the other parent
Arrangements for medical and dental appointments
Who has responsibility for specific decision making, including clarity over which decisions require joint approval
The process for dispute resolution
Arrangements regarding religious and faith based activities
Arrangements for special family events
Arrangements relating to contact time with grandparents and other family members
I would add anything about new partners and what they should be called etc. (ie aunt/uncle; not specific names! )
This will show you have put a great deal of thought into the best arrangements for your child, with your child's welfare at the very heart of your proposal. It will also give you and your ex a base from which to start discussions.
I do think having a blank template with all those is a good idea, I'd be weary about putting my cards on the table though.
Certainly I'm going to start high with an expectation to drop down0
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