Concerns over brother as an executor of dad's will
Comments
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In my heart of hearts, I'm hoping this is really the case, because it might just be he felt out of his depth and/or incapable of supporting our parents with the practical day-to-day issues that they faced (over the last 10 years or so). Maybe he jumped at the chance to support them with following through with their will because it was the one thing he felt he could do.Norman_Castle wrote: »He's not asking for control, just to be involved.
"My mother initially wanted myself and my sister to fulfil their wishes re: the will. My brother himself is indicating it would be better to have family members only as executors, whilst also putting himself forward as one."
However, as much as this may be the case - if it avoids potential squabbles in the future by not having him involved as an executor, then I think that makes perfect sense. In any case, my mother initially said that she wanted my sister and I to be the executors - so what does that tell you!0 -
Thank you paddy's mum. I totally agree, but wanted to get outside advice on whether say my sister or I would be in over our heads if we took on the executor role - especially given my older brother appeared to be making it out to be an onerous task (with potential personal jeopardy), and was offering to act as an executor.paddy's_mum wrote: »Almost all of this is irrelevant when surely the ONLY fact that actually matters is that chosen executors must be able and likely to work together peaceably.
All else is just by the by. Why cook up a conflict situation when your parents can avoid it by appointing executors who have a proven track record of harmony and cooperation?
Good luck.0 -
I think there's too much focus on who does what now. I understand why that could allow resentment to fester, but I do think that it's affecting your opinion on the brother. I also think its largely irrelevant given its your parents will in question rather than your own.
Did mum elect you & your sister before or after brother put himself forth? If before then what does mum say now? If after, then clearly she didn't want him doing it and wanted you & your sister to do it.You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means - Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride0 -
Yes, I have a negative opinion of my older brother, and I realise I have to see past all of that and be objective as I can; (easier said than done). My mum said she wants my sister and I to carry out m&d's wishes of their wills, which followed a post (the day before) from my brother who alerted us to his thoughts on the matter of a will, and offering to be an executor.unholyangel wrote: »I think there's too much focus on who does what now. I understand why that could allow resentment to fester, but I do think that it's affecting your opinion on the brother. I also think its largely irrelevant given its your parents will in question rather than your own.
Did mum elect you & your sister before or after brother put himself forth? If before then what does mum say now? If after, then clearly she didn't want him doing it and wanted you & your sister to do it.
My mum did not have any correspondence with my older brother, (when stating her preference), but it might well be that my older brother (subsequently) advises my parents he might be best placed to deal with the executor duties as well, given his accountancy background.
NB. This hasn't happened yet, and I'm just putting it forward as a possible hypothetical. Hence the subject of this thread - and whether his role as an executor might pose any future problems etc.0 -
I have a negative opinion of my older brother......whether his role as an executor might pose any future problems
That mistrust is all the reason your parents need to avert potential conflict - how can anyone work well with someone they have no faith in and who has already shown a fair bit of disregard of the needs of his (presumably) loved ones.
It needs no further debate. It just needs your parents to crack on with making sensible choices and giving effect to their wishes.0 -
Norman_Castle wrote: »He's not asking for control, just to be involved."
But not with any of the care giving or daily support, more stressful than dealing with a simple estate. I have doubts about offspring that only want to 'help' when a parent dies, & even more so when it involves the financial affairs.
Now, if he's sticking his 'volunteering to keep it in the family' arm in the air to meet some of their needs while they're both living, helping his siblings take up the slack, I might be less suspicious of his offer. There's probably a reason why his mother doesn't sound as if he was her first consideration for the role.Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.0 -
Thank you xylophone for the links. I now know there are joint wills as well as mirror wills that we can consider going ahead with. Given my parents ages, (mum is in her late eighties), I think they're more likely to want a joint will, as nothing will change after one or the other dies i.e. they would want their joint assets to be split 5 ways between the children.
You said you were getting a will-writing firm to the house. Please be aware that anyone can call themselves a will-writer, so this person may not be a qualified solicitor. I wouldn't recommend anything but the simplest of wills in such a situation: mirror wills should do the job.
Also be aware the will-writer may offer a similar line to your brother: "it's a responsible job, you need to get it right," leading to the conclusion "you should appoint professional executors and we're ideally placed to do it ...." for which they will charge an appropriate fee ...Signature removed for peace of mind0 -
You said you were getting a will-writing firm to the house. Please be aware that anyone can call themselves a will-writer, so this person may not be a qualified solicitor. I wouldn't recommend anything but the simplest of wills in such a situation: mirror wills should do the job.
Also be aware the will-writer may offer a similar line to your brother: "it's a responsible job, you need to get it right," leading to the conclusion "you should appoint professional executors and we're ideally placed to do it ...." for which they will charge an appropriate fee ...
And their usual method is to start offering a very low price for a simple will and then try to convince you that, as well as appointing them as executors, you need to set up trusts which add hundreds to the bill and that they will then store your will for £20+ a year which gives you the opportunity to update your will for free.0 -
I had a call from the 'will writer' solicitor a couple of days ago, who was recommended by the hospice organisation that has recently come to support my dad. He said he would arrange an initial meeting to record my parents wishes, and would write a will up for them as a couple. Thank you for clarifying that this is likely to be drawing up 'mirror wills'.
Check whethe they are a Will Writeror a solicitor, and if they are not actually solcitiors, suggest to your parent they they use a proper solicitor. Solicitors will come to your paretns home or hospital / hospice if your dad is not well enough togo to their offices.
As others have said, it depnds what your paretns want but if they chose to name you and your sister as executors then you can of course get advice from an accountant and/or solicitor when the time comes, if it is necessary.All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)0 -
My mum did not have any correspondence with my older brother, (when stating her preference), but it might well be that my older brother (subsequently) advises my parents he might be best placed to deal with the executor duties as well, given his accountancy background.
An accountant is no more and no less qualified to be an executor than a circus clown.
I can't see any reason in the information presented why the mother shouldn't go with her first instincts and appoint the OP and her sister as executors.
As others have said, ensure the "will writer solicitor" is actually a solicitor. "Solicitor" is a protected term, like "doctor". "Will writer" is not protected and therefore usually refers to a charlatan. Same as how if my business card says "healer", that means I'm not a doctor, even though doctors heal people (as solicitors write wills). If I call myself a "healer" rather than a doctor, my "healing" probably involves crystals or homeopathy.0
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