Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it
Comments
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so sorry for your loss xx0
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Retiredandskint, understand what you mean about 'the quietness'. You are probably feeling it even more because your day no longer centers on caring for your husband. It's really tough and I do feel for you.0
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Thinking of you retired and skint. You don't mention any family, or friends if not please don't hesitate to speak up on here. Most of us will have felt similarly and will hopefully make you feel less alone.
I found counselling good, as I could really let loose all those feeling that were building up inside, I only went for 3 sessions but found a great release. My Dr's had a counsellor and I saw them immediately. Things are still very raw, and the funeral is a hurdle to get over yet. I hope you have someone to help you through even a neighbour who can help with funeral organisation.
I opted for a package, it was less expensive, I had little money. Plus I wasn't having to decide on all the horrible bits. My only big decision was what flowers to have.
The hospital gave me a leaflet that listed a service which I think was called tell all. Let them know and they inform relevant govt offices, such as tax etc. Which saves you doing it.
Sammie, I hope you have seen someone, and are getting some help. Getting out and keeping busy do help. I felt that although John had died too young. It was up to me to pack more into my life for him. To make up for what he missed.
The 18 months have flown since he died and I can't believe he won't walk back in. It worries me that I can't remember how it felt to hold him. No one else feels quite the same. I've had so many hugs from friends and family which is lovely but it's not him.
Sending hugs to all in need .xFocus on contribution instead of the impressiveness of consumption to see the true beauty in people.0 -
Sorry for your loss retired and skint, it has been described as the most lonely time in life, I do hope that you're getting some support from others.
Sammy I hope that you are okay?CRV1963- Light bulb moment Sept 15- Planning the great escape- aka retirement!0 -
Hi everyone, thank you crv1963. Hope you are ok?
Retired and skint. I am so sorry for you loss. Sending you love.
I am having a lot of trouble getting into my gp. I can't get past the receptionist.
I just feel completly wiped out. I almost called the Samaritans the other night mid panic attack but decided against it.
Hi wort, hope you are ok. I know I should get out and about but i just don't seem able to. I do the school run, after school clubs and that's it. I just want to hide away.
I am out of my antidepressants now and won't be able to get any more til I manage to speak with a doctor.
Take care everyone xxx0 -
Sammie, I'm so sorry the receptionist hasn't been able to book an appointment for you. That isn't right. You are going through so much at the moment and need to see your GP quickly. I'm sure that is what he/she would want to happen too. I would urge you to try again and if the receptionist says there aren't any available slots, perhaps ask for the GP to call you. I know they will do this.
Sending my love xx0 -
retiredandskint wrote: »My husband died a week ago today and your comment about crisps and chocolate brought a much needed smile. I too am eating crisps and chocolate, I haven't showered, got dressed or opened the blinds today. I miss my husband dreadfully, in his case it was a merciful release, he had Lewy Body dementia and was very tormented.
So sorry to hear your sad news, please accept my condolences. It was my 5th anniversary last week and while I have made a 'new normal' I still miss my husband so much,
I used to post here quite often, RL got in the way but finally things are almost back to my new normal with the work on the house all set to be finished next week. I can look around here now and feel like it's how I wanted it. I had a new kitchen and boiler put in as well as a wet room. I have also treated myself to a sun room. The work people will be finished at the latest a week on Wednesday then Thursday I have the new carpets and kitchen lino being fitted. The week after that is all the new blinds, then I'm done. I've decided that I can just about afford to replace the furniture in my bedroom which I plan on ordering once all the other stuff is finally finished and then I am closing my purse.
I am hoping, once I have all that done, apart from the inevitable breaking down of appliances, I should not have to replace anything in the house. I can live with that as I love all the furniture and bits I have and don't want to replace.
I did a huge clear our when I downsized after my husband died and the kids left home, then I did it again when I downsized again when I came here. I plan to go through everything again to make sure I really do have only things I really need or really want. Everything else has to go, space really is at a premium here.
My daughter decided to move closer to me before the little one starts nursery so she will not have to move. She has found a house a few minutes away that ticks (most) boxes, is in her price range and has a couple of things she really loves. This has cheered me up no end as I love them both so much and will now see them much more often than once a week. I have a feeling babysitting will become a frequent occurrence as my daughter works full time and granny comes a LOT cheaper than a childminder. :rotfl:Feb 2019 GC £151.53/£300God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, wisdom to know the difference.0 -
Radio 4extra had a half hour programme at half 1 today called merry widows recorded a few years ago talking to women who had lost husbands. I didn't hear all of it as someone came in but it might be useful to somebody. It will be on catchup for a while.
Daisy2022: 3🏅 4⭐ 2023: 5🎖🏅🏅 🎖🏅6 ⭐⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion. Take hold of every moment - anon I'm a clutterbug butterfly 🦋 The difference between what you were yesterday and what you will be tomorrow is what you do today Well organised clutter is still clutter - Joshua Becker If you aren't already using something in your home, you won't start using it more by shoving it in a cupboard- AJMoney0 -
Thank you Daisy - just listened to programme and found it very good.0
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Hi Sammie, hope all is ok with both you and your little ones0
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