Concerns over brother as an executor of dad's will

Norman_Castle wrote: »

Your parents didn't want to move which your brother respected. Why assume he would fail to respect their will? You consider your actions valiant but he has isolated himself by supporting his parents wishes against other family members. Isn't that valiant?

We ALL respected our parents wishes to stay in their home, as it was our family home that they have lived in for nearly 50 years now. However, because it has 2 levels and my mum's mobility is poor i.e. going up and down stairs - and because my dad's cancer was likely to get worse over time, we started looking at bungalows about 2 years ago and tried to persuade them to move (my older brother included) to make things easier as time went on.

Ultimately, my parents did not like the bungalows we supported them with visiting/viewing, and we respected their wishes to stay in their home. However, my older brother said to us at the time that he didn't understand why we put all the effort in to support them if they weren't going to be listening to us i.e. "I don't know why you bother helping them - just leave them to it" (i.e. stop helping them, or words to that effect).

Easier said than done, when at the time it was essentially my older brother who did more or less nothing to support our parents - whilst the rest of us were putting in a lot of time and effort to support my parents in their home; (and still are). I lost my temper and shouted at my brother to say, "we can't just bury our heads in the sand and do nothing!"

Brynsam wrote: »

You've already posted this elsewhere: [SNIP]

How many answers do you need? You brother seems admirably qualified to carry out the role, whereas I suspect you will be anxiously clucking around here, mumsnet and anywhere else asking for advice at every turn. Use the best person for the job: a professional who knows what he's about. You really don't need to jump through all these hoops, particularly at a time (which must come) when you will be grieving.

I have posted elsewhere because my dad is now at 'end of life' and we don't have much time to get this right. Plus, (as sad as I am to say it), I don't necessarily trust the motives of my older brother - given his level of apparent disinterest in the past. Therefore, I have no qualms in posting this thread up in 2 separate forums as a) I didn't know if I'd get enough suggestions/advice by posting in one forum b) it's better to get as much varied advice as possible as my dad may well lose capacity soon due to the nature of his health problems.

From the advice given so far - just because my brother is an accountant doesn't mean to say he's "admirably qualified", as you don't necessarily need to have those accountancy skills to carry out the role of an executor. What you do need though is to have a family dynamic where, if there is already a lack of trust between siblings and it's likely to lead to future problems re: the will, you need executors in the family who will be able to work together.