Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • WannabeFree
    • By WannabeFree 21st Nov 17, 11:04 AM
    • 1,426Posts
    • 11,887Thanks
    WannabeFree
    ôRock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.ö
    • #1
    • 21st Nov 17, 11:04 AM
    ôRock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.ö 21st Nov 17 at 11:04 AM
    Back in May this year I decided things had to change. I turned to here and received an amazing amount of help and advice. Here I am making a fresh start.

    Debt 09/05/2017

    Council Tax ú2092.71
    Court Fine ú1250
    Court Fine ú200
    Person 1 ú1000
    Person 2 ú1000
    Person 3 ú1379
    Person 4 ú427
    Debt Total ú7348.71

    Rent Arrears ú3381.28

    Total ú10729.99

    *Person 4 ú575
    *New Debt ú732
    *Debt 1 ú387.29
    *Debt 2 ú1451.40
    *Debt 3 ú1137.73
    *EDF ú3140.65

    Total ú18154.06

    *As more comes out from under the carpet I will update here.
    Last edited by WannabeFree; 21-11-2017 at 12:21 PM.
Page 92
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 24th Apr 18, 9:22 AM
    • 52,858 Posts
    • 207,913 Thanks
    beanielou
    Just to add you have to do what is right for you & not anyone else.
    It's your life.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
    • WannabeFree
    • By WannabeFree 24th Apr 18, 9:35 AM
    • 1,426 Posts
    • 11,887 Thanks
    WannabeFree
    I think I'm still struggling to find a balance on keeping everyone happy. A long night spent thinking about things and I still don't know where I stand.

    I just want the best for everyone, and everyone to be happy. No matter what I do I feel like I'm letting someone down.
    ôOnce you hit rock bottom, that's where you perfectly stand; That's your chance of restarting, but restarting the right way.ö
    • missymoo81
    • By missymoo81 24th Apr 18, 10:09 AM
    • 5,866 Posts
    • 20,056 Thanks
    missymoo81
    Hey sugar, long time no see. Im sorry I havent been online, Im just trying to catch up. Sounds like you!!!8217;re having a tough time at the moment. I guess you need to think months from now and what decision you would be happiest with or wish youd made. It is about you. You cant please everyone all the time. Ive tried and failed. But often making yourself happy makes others happy in the process. Much love xx
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 24th Apr 18, 1:36 PM
    • 1,622 Posts
    • 8,591 Thanks
    Cherryfudge
    I think I'm still struggling to find a balance on keeping everyone happy. A long night spent thinking about things and I still don't know where I stand.

    I just want the best for everyone, and everyone to be happy. No matter what I do I feel like I'm letting someone down.
    Originally posted by WannabeFree
    Step back and ask yourself one by one - why is it important to keep this person happy, and what is the potential cost to you and your children.

    Keeping other people happy seems to me to indicate your focus has shifted from what the best course of action is, what is right. Some people are only kept happy if they get what they want not what's best for you - and you don't have a duty to them. Their selfishness is their problem, not yours. Also 'happy' can be a short term thing that doesn't last because it gives rise to long term problems.

    Sleepless nights are horrible. I hope you can have a better sleep tonight. x
    MFW #30 Paid off ú1270/ú3770 as of April 2018
    • earthgirl
    • By earthgirl 24th Apr 18, 9:33 PM
    • 1,963 Posts
    • 22,029 Thanks
    earthgirl
    I agree with Cherry and the others and just wanted to wish you well.

    Sometimes writing it down helps. Perhaps a bit simplistic if there are others affected, but I always write with problems down in one half of a page, solutions and possible effects on the other. Often just focusing on the solutions and doing something from that "side" helps me to focus on what I'm trying to achieve.

    Best wishes
    15/5/12 Paid off Mortgage 1 (ú220k) Dec 13 - ú116,508 Bought Dream House Dec 14 - ú94, 402 (ú22,106 offset in 2014) Jan 16 - ú67, 852 (ú26,550 offset in 2015) Dec 16 - ú33,529 ( ú34,323offset in 2016)
    Jan 17 - ú39, 773 (Re-estimation of endowments )
    Sept 17 ú22,619 Jan 18 - ú11,687 Mar 18 -ú8524
    Kids savings 13,578/36k
    • UncannyScot
    • By UncannyScot 24th Apr 18, 11:18 PM
    • 1,375 Posts
    • 7,648 Thanks
    UncannyScot
    Hey WannabeFree
    Never ever try to please everyone, it just cannot be done...
    Sometimes you just have to stop and say, "NO, ENOUGH!" and take care of you...

    Been in the situation before of always putting others first and was really badly hurt by it, I almost lost all sense of my self IYKWIM

    A lovey Christian girl that I know told me this, "We are all meant to love each other and to treat people as we ourselves would like to treated. Yeah? Well, that doesn't mean I do whatever everyone else wants me to do, it doesn't mean that I let myself be taken for or treated like a mug. Having love and respect for others starts with having love and respect for myself, you know what I mean? There has to be a balance there."

    That has really stuck with me over the years...
    WannabeFree, I just feel that you need to find YOUR balance and have love and respect for yourself.
    I hope I'm making sense here, been away on business and had a really busy couple of days and lots of long distance driving so my old noggin ain't firing on all cylinders atm...
    You know you can always contact me anytime about anything missus
    (((((HUGS)))))
    BUGGRITMILLENIUMHANDANDSHRIMP I TOLD EM! - Foul Ole Ron
    It is important that we know where we come from, because if you do not know where you come from, then you do not know where you are, and if you don't know where you are, then you don't know where you are going. If you don't know where you're going, you're probably going wrong.
    R.I.P. T.P.
    • WannabeFree
    • By WannabeFree 25th Apr 18, 10:08 AM
    • 1,426 Posts
    • 11,887 Thanks
    WannabeFree
    This isn't going to read how I mean it but I don't care about me really. I just want everyone else to be happy and okay

    I really don't think it will ever be how I want it and I think I need to learn to accept that. I do know my priority is the smalls being happy - even if this means me being on a back step. This has always been my priority and always will be obviously.

    Thank you for all taking the time to read my moaning and replying x
    ôOnce you hit rock bottom, that's where you perfectly stand; That's your chance of restarting, but restarting the right way.ö
    • jwil
    • By jwil 25th Apr 18, 12:37 PM
    • 8,412 Posts
    • 25,564 Thanks
    jwil
    Your happiness does count WF, and you don't want to be spending time trying to manage the effects of others actions. Do what's best for you and the children. No one else matters xx
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • UncannyScot
    • By UncannyScot 25th Apr 18, 12:42 PM
    • 1,375 Posts
    • 7,648 Thanks
    UncannyScot
    Your happiness does count WF, and you don't want to be spending time trying to manage the effects of others actions. Do what's best for you and the children. No one else matters xx
    Originally posted by jwil
    Aye, this^^^^^^
    BUGGRITMILLENIUMHANDANDSHRIMP I TOLD EM! - Foul Ole Ron
    It is important that we know where we come from, because if you do not know where you come from, then you do not know where you are, and if you don't know where you are, then you don't know where you are going. If you don't know where you're going, you're probably going wrong.
    R.I.P. T.P.
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 25th Apr 18, 1:04 PM
    • 6,025 Posts
    • 22,019 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    Your happiness does count WF, and you don't want to be spending time trying to manage the effects of others actions. Do what's best for you and the children. No one else matters xx
    Originally posted by jwil

    What she says ^^^^^ xx
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: ú6500.00 Cap 1: ú417.28 BC: ú8224.59 (temporary)
    AFD xxx LTW 14/16
    POAMAYC 2018 #041 PD ú3790.84/ú7000
    Savings for Christmas ú131.00/ú365
    20p Savers 2018 ú2 Savers 2018 50p Savers 2018 SPC 11 2018 #003
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 25th Apr 18, 1:42 PM
    • 52,858 Posts
    • 207,913 Thanks
    beanielou
    Your happiness does count WF, and you don't want to be spending time trying to manage the effects of others actions. Do what's best for you and the children. No one else matters xx
    Originally posted by jwil
    FRom me too.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 25th Apr 18, 4:24 PM
    • 5,611 Posts
    • 36,280 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Of course your happiness counts as much as anyone else's. If you've any doubts don't do it. If it was right for you you wouldn't have to think about it xx
    Virtual Sealed Pot 2018 ú250.33
    Debt ú2572.50
    April NSDs 2 AFDs 3
    Weight loss 7/10LBS Emergency Fund ú2000/ú10,000
    Dining room fund ú
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

3,734Posts Today

8,702Users online

Martin's Twitter