Money Moral Dilemma: Should I tell my partner about my savings?

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MSE_Sarah
MSE_Sarah Posts: 327 MSE Staff
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in Marriage, relationships & families
This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...
My live-in partner and I have shared finances and split everything equally. But I have a private savings account they don't know about, with £1,000s stashed away. Should I tell them about it?

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Comments

  • Red-Squirrel_2
    Red-Squirrel_2 Posts: 4,341 Forumite
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    Yes you should.
  • SuperPikachu
    SuperPikachu Posts: 344 Forumite
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    Well if you don't trust them then no, and if you don't trust them then why are you even with them?

    Weird question.
  • marliepanda
    marliepanda Posts: 7,186 Forumite
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    Up to you. Not a moral dilemma. Do what you want.
  • comeandgo
    comeandgo Posts: 5,744 Forumite
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    Maybe your partner has money stashed too. Do whatever you want, it's your money.
  • mrschaucer
    mrschaucer Posts: 953 Forumite
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    MSE_Sarah wrote: »
    This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...
    My live-in partner and I have shared finances and split everything equally. But I have a private savings account they don't know about, with £1,000s stashed away. Should I tell them about it?
    ]

    Do you think it will make any difference to your relationship if you admit to the savings?
  • K80_Black
    K80_Black Posts: 466 Forumite
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    Me and my non live-in partner share our savings balance with each other - which I am very glad of as he really doesn't have the best knowledge! We're looking to buy together soon-ish, and because I am more savvy than him I was able to get him to ditch his pointless cash ISA and get an appointment with the bank to open a HTB ISA.

    After being in a relationship where I was financially abused, I can see the logic behind having your own savings pot/split finances - most certainly. Even when we're cohabiting/married etc, I plan to always have at least one account in my name only with a bit stashed away - but I'd let him know about it and frankly, expect him to do the same.
  • dawyldthing
    dawyldthing Posts: 3,438 Forumite
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    No I don’t think you should say owt. If you have say a joint account where you both give yourselves say £200 a month to do what the heck you want and he’s peed it in the pub whereas you’ve just gone once a month then why can’t you have it stashed away?
    :T:T :beer: :beer::beer::beer: to the lil one :) :beer::beer::beer:
  • HornetSaver
    HornetSaver Posts: 3,732 Forumite
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    No.



    If you were to separate then that's definitely an important nest-egg, and if you were to marry that might well be an important pot to have in reserve (if you were to choose to marry then yes you should reveal it).
  • Spendless
    Spendless Posts: 24,150 Forumite
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    A few years back someone posted a comment that they'd once started a new job in a bank and on the first day or so their boss had 'insisted' they open a secret bank account their OH didn't know about and how important it was to do so.

    I read it and thought, whilst it would probably be a good idea to 'humour' your new boss and go along with the idea, if it had been me I'd have gone home and told DH and for years we'd have laughed about the 'secret' bank account.

    I totally understand the reason people have different accounts in different names for different things, I'm not so sure about why they're kept secret from the other party.

    Btw - if ever you (plural you) need to claim means tested benefits you will need to be honest about any savings you may have, that may take you over the threshold for receiving or reduce the amount you're entitled to.
  • terill
    terill Posts: 37 Forumite
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    No. Partners don't need to know every last little thing.
This discussion has been closed.
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