Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it

Thats the spirit LL, chin up, bosoms out and straight ahead, blow the tired mind

I spent all yesterday evening mulling over houses and have finally (80%) decided on a brand new one, even decided on the development. The plot I want has not even been released yet so I have no idea how long and it may be too long. It is not a small house but I see potential for future proofing ie a utility/cloakroom combination if needed to make a shower room and that all important spare (small) room that could be a bedroom if needed. Tbh large in this house for the price = very small further away. I am going to ring the sales office today. 30 minutes to get there and will spend half a day in the area. Walking to shops etc, busier than here but I would have safe cycling access and a garage for my workshop. Only these last few plots have s facing gardens

I've finally got round to booking a viewing for a property tomorrow. A barn conversion. It's supposed to be a luxury conversion and although it Looks lovely already my critical eye is saying you've skimped and cut corners to maximise your profits.

It makes me so cross when developers do that.

For example for £500 they could have put underfloor heating in the bathroom. But they didn't. To do it retrospectively would mean ripping up a brand new expensive tiled floor. Crazy.

It's a grade II listed building and they've put in cheap radiators. And crime of crimes......there's no fireplace. I need to look at the outside walls and see if I could somehow duct a log burner. Like you say they try and dazzle you with bling but then mess up the fundamentals.

That's why I prefer wrecks, I'm not paying a premium for someone's shoddy work.

Had to smile .......my "admirer" from my last but one cruise rang me today. He's persistent I'll say that. He's a nice man but he doesn't float my boat as it were. :rotfl:

Have a viewer coming tonight, EA rang me with feedback from the other viewings, lots of positive comments, no offers yet.

I must be patient.

Had a bit of shock this morning when I measured my blood sugars. Must do better and get them down ASAP. To that end I'm off for a walk.....must increase my step count. Horrid cold wind here though.

Well I have dug out my blood sugar diet by Michael Mosley.

I am not sure I can go as low as 800 cals every day. But he says you if you can't manage that then he recommends the 5:2 plan. So that's what I'm going to do. On the 5 days of normal calorie intake I shall ensure no starchy carbs or sugar. Try to Stick to around 1400 cals

I'm also going to try the 16/8 fasting. Where you try and keep your eating within an 8 hour window. I won't manage that today, it will be more like 15/9 but that's ok to begin with.

I am now around 2 stones overweight, having lost a stone over the last year or so but to reverse the diabetes I have to lose weight a lot more quickly.

We all know about healthy eating and exercise but It's so easy to take our eye off the ball isn't it. All the stress we have had to deal with hasn't helped either. It's a long journey back to wellness but it's got to be worth it.

Hello Poppy - good to see you. Belated Happy Birthday. Glad you had a good time, but you are right, even the happy occasions have a certain bitter sweetness now.

Re your ideas of a "project". I can't advise you but I would say for me having a project - ie renovating my current house really helped me through my grief. Yes it was hard at times and I did make a couple of silly decisions - widows brain and being under pressure to get the house at least habitable - It did me a lot of good to keep busy and focused on something else other than my own misery. I am ready for another one.

The only proviso I have this time is that if the house is really bad I will rent something cheap and cheerful whilst he work is being done. I am too old now to live on building site. I need somewhere warm and clean. And, tbh it's quicker, cheaper and easier to get the building work done all in one fell swoop then messing about doing it piecemeal. The money saved doing the work quickly and efficiently more than pays for the outlay in rent.

And if you can release capital for travel, a few treats and additional future security and comfort then even better.

It's a long haul but we get there in the end......

Cold wet and miserable here. I am viewing a house later and I intended making it a nice day out, with lunch and a bit of light shopping. I think I'll just make it a short visit and just potter about instead. Stay nice and cosy.

Kittie.....you have done so well. You have had a massive declutter and got yourself reorganised. Just take your time now, and try not to panic or overthink things. I am a great believer in Ke sera.....everything will slot into place, all in its own good time.

I am not going to fret and fuss either. If it sells quickly then Great, if not then I can wait. I am clean, warm and comfortable here. As my husband used to say "nothing is spoiling".

If it takes time to sell, well another year or so here is no biggie. The summer is coming, I can enjoy my garden and get out and about. I can keep busy and use the time to try and lose some weight and improve my fitness. I shall join the National Trust and have a few nice days out.

Re renovation work etc. Ask i get older I cant do the hard physical graft and now that the boys have their own relationships and commitments I can't really expect them to drop everything to help me every 5 minutes.

I shall have to pay for help but that's ok. I'll get the professionals in for the major works and then maybe look for an occasional handy person to help me with some of the work I used to do but can't really manage any more.

I would really love to help some youngster who can't find work or training and give them a bit of a leg up. There must be hundreds of young strapping lads who would like to earn some money whilst learning a few simple diy skills. I can't offer an apprenticeship but I could probably guarantee at least six months work to the right person.