Motivating a teen to do homework

bylromarha wrote: »

Homework issued by school is around 2 hours minimum a night, using their timings. We gave him a 15 minute buffer per homework, so he needs 3 hours to complete as school timings are not generous imo...300 words written & research the subject in 30mins. Homework club is only open for 2 hours after school and isn't supervised well, so he could easily spend his whole time watching Youtube videos.

Downloading youtube videos isn't too practical. Tonight he's been issued a 45min video to watch, then write about his learning from it. It's due in tomorrow. The turn around is too tight after we get in from work. And I'm not even sure it's legal to download youtube videos.

2 hours every night minimum homework? :eek: That's far more than mine ever have/had (aged 15 and 18 attend/ed an Outstanding secondary, more than obsessed with their results!) Is this usual? No wonder the poor lad doesn't want to do his homework! I wouldn't want to either, he's already spent what 5 hours-ish in lessons then gets another 2 hours on top between getting in and going to bed.

The turn around isn't good either, issuing on day 1 to be in the following day. If this is happening frequently then I think it should be fetched up with the school.

What's the reason for so much homework? I have read that a lot of homework given to pupils is down to the teacher not completing the work in classtime. Whether this is down to teacher not being allocated enough time to complete a subject, having to deal with other issues too, or I've read a load of nonsense I dont know.

I certainly would ask more about how well homework club is supervised. I'd be surprised if they can just look at youtube videos on the school computers. My own son discovered to his cost that the school used a keyboard logger. He didn't make that mistake twice!

You're going to have to start putting your child ahead of your own needs. Sit next to him for two hours and make sure he does his homework. If he doesn't then he loses everything until he's willing to try again.

OP, I think your are a teacher. I sat at one end if the table doing my marking, while son sat at the other doing homework.

Would that work for you?

bylromarha wrote: »

We ban him from doing homework at the weekends.

Which is why we are where we are. I hate the fact there are no consequences that have an effect.

It sounds like it is not only your son who needs a kick up the arris

There are consequences, it is just that he hasn't reached them yet. When he fails exams, and has to resit, when he doesn't get into college / uni / get a job - and you have to financially support him longer - there will be consequences for you all, for his lazyness and for your lazy parenting (He is currently left to his own devices is not working out for you is it).

Why the hell are you banning homework at weekends? Not only are you teaching him he is entitled to two days break (for not bothering to do anything all week) but then is piling on the pressure to do so many hours homework mon to friday. He hasn't actually earned a break at all, if he isn't putting effort in-- that is not how life works and you are banning him from doing homework on the best time of the week - hell yes he should have his head in the homework on a weekend.

Get some childlocks on the internet and ban all the sites that you know he dosses around on. Stick to it. He will moan and scream, but stick to it - at the minute you are letting him be the boss of this situation because the outcome of that is a quiet life for you in the meantime. You leave him to it so he learns that he only needs to moan and gets left alone. It is called 'tough love' and standing back watching him make such mistakes, so you can have a quiet life, is not parenting. You arent there to be their friend, their mate, your job is to parent and foresee how to give them the wings to fly

This whole situation is akin to not bothering to toilet train a toddler, you are going to end up wiping their butt for far longer if you do not put the work in at the front end.

The younger generation have a lot of different problems than your own generation did OP, and he will already have a lot of difficulties against him, struggling to get housed, jobs etc, without having an ingrained lazy self entitled attitude and no qualifications - Sorry but you are breeding a snowflake and you need to stop and start parenting, show him YOU are the parent, you are the boss, NOT him.

Sorry but someone had to say it. I remember posting a very similar situation to you OP years back, and someone said similar to me and it really made me think. Initially I thought they were just having a pop but I realised I was being told home truths, and its not really my style to have a pop at pple on these boards.

I know you hate me, but seriously have a think about what I have said and envisage your son in ten years time, if he continues down this path

If your on talk talk you can ban whole websites. I'd ban the ones he goes on full stop until he's pulled his socks up then put parental timer on so he has to do homework as I'm sure it can ban all gaming