Private school extras fee dilemma
Comments
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Do you pay maintenance for your daughter?
Is you do then pay it to the school for the extras and any balance to your ex.
Does the contract you signed not need to renewed at any time e'g yearly.0 -
How old is said child btw? Just wondering if she's asking to do the extra curricular stuff or if it's Mum booking her in.0
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How old is she is an important question, as fees and costs will increase every year. What seems affordable initially may well turn out to be huge costs by the time they are taking their exams.0
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How many clubs are you paying for?
If you are paying for one every night that is unreasonable but if you are paying for 2 a week that is not, regardless of the cost it is not unreasonable for your daughter to want to do more than one club a week with her friends. If you restrict this its not fair on your daughter all her friends parents can afford it, hers can't, that is not a good situation for a child be in and is why state schools are not allowed to discriminate against parents/children with less money than others.
This is not your fault, if you can't afford it. Maybe you need to consider with your ex if private school is the best environment for her. If you both agree it is, then you need to split the cost and work out a compromise so you daughter keeps up with her friends but at an affordable level for yourselves.0 -
I think you need a written agreement. You agreed to pay school dinners so your ex could pay the clubs? Doesn't seem she will agree so I really think you need to speak to a solicitor.
That was a good question someone had there about your daughters age. The cost does increase. Fees go up but extras too. In my child's school, the prep kids might go to the local farm on a trip but year 9 just went to New York.
Comments about private school being a good choice depend where you live. Our local upper school has a drug problem and only 29% of kids come out with 5 GCSE's so that's why we avoided it. Private isn't always better but in our case I'm confident it is. Depends on the child too. Some benefit and some don't!
Anyway it sounds like you have reached stale mate so speak to a legal professional. I'd also write to the school to explain. Its not fair for one parent to create a huge financial responsibility for the other.0 -
iammumtoone wrote: »If you are paying for one every night that is unreasonable but if you are paying for 2 a week that is not, regardless of the cost it is not unreasonable for your daughter to want to do more than one club a week with her friends.
If paying for daughter's 'wants' means that a parent can't afford to pay their rent or other bills, you can't disregard the cost!0 -
If paying for daughter's 'wants' means that a parent can't afford to pay their rent or other bills, you can't disregard the cost!
But its not a necessary cost, the child does not have top go to private school at a state school they would be able to afford the extras (if you are lucky enough to be offered any)
It could be argued by the father that its not necessary for his daughter to go to clubs, that is a matter of opinion, in my view it is necessary for children to socialise and keep up with their friends (not a club everynight but a couple of times a week). It might be possible that the OPs ex could have her daughters friends over to her house once a week instead but the children may not want that they might want to take part in the organised activities.
As Fireflyaway points out how is the daughter going to feel when she is older if the whole class go on a trip and her parents can't afford it, she has to stay in school. My son is going on a school trip cost was £200 but for those who couldn't afford it they could apply for special concession so all the kids have the same chance/opportunity (I suspect my £200 covers a bit of that cost for other kids - buts thats a topic for another thread!)0 -
Do you pay maintenance for your daughter?
Is you do then pay it to the school for the extras and any balance to your ex.
Does the contract you signed not need to renewed at any time e'g yearly.
In an ideal world the OP might do this, but sadly it is only going to work for as long as it takes for the Child Maintenance Service to become involved. They will not accept extra costs being paid by the paying parent in lieu of the assessed amount.
I second the writing to the school and the ex with notice idea. If that doesn't work, then try the free half hour with a solicitor(s.)0 -
Secondary schools tend to be full of teenagers, so experimentation is likely to be an issue regardless of area, state or private. It's how the school deals with it that matters.Fireflyaway wrote: »Comments about private school being a good choice depend where you live. Our local upper school has a drug problem
And I'd be right with you there!Fireflyaway wrote: »and only 29% of kids come out with 5 GCSE's so that's why we avoided it.Signature removed for peace of mind0 -
Thank you for the replies. There was a lot about money. If I could easily afford it then my daughter could do and have as much as she wanted but we all have to have limits. I earn circa 13000 per year. The current extras bill will be around 3700 for one year of 3 terms.
To be honest, I find these figures to be quite astonishing. All four of my children were educated privately and at different schools. For each of those schools the majority of extra-curricular activities and clubs were included in the fees. From memory, it was only music and tennis lessons which were at an additional cost. Are you 'absolutely' certain about these additional costs?0
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