Advice Needed - Married & Separating - Mortgage & Kids

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Comments

  • System
    System Posts: 178,093 Community Admin
    Photogenic Name Dropper First Post
    Do not move out. As soon as you move out, you lose access to kids and she can call most of the shots. She'll go on an immediate go-slow with every decision knowing it'll by her more time whilst you're back with your parents or something. Nothing sharpens the focus to bargain quickly, efficiently and fairly than when you're still under her feet.
  • rockyjr99
    rockyjr99 Posts: 8 Forumite
    edited 7 May 2019 at 9:50AM
    edit - privacy removed
  • Socajam
    Socajam Posts: 1,238 Forumite
    First Post Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I agree with those that advised DO NOT MOVE OUT.
    Once you move out, you are on a slipper y slope and all hell will break loose.
    If she wants to move that' s on her, but you stay put.
    You are not responsible for her child from another relationship - where is the father, he should be paying child support like you are paying for your child with another mother.
  • rockyjr99
    rockyjr99 Posts: 8 Forumite
    edited 7 May 2019 at 9:50AM
    edit - privacy removed
  • TBagpuss
    TBagpuss Posts: 11,203 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Go and see a solicitor. Trying to do this on your own is likely to be a false economy.

    You don't have to move out unless a court orders you to.

    When it comes to a finacial settlement, a court will try to be fair to you and her, taking into account the needs you both have, including your housing neds, and the needs of any children. You won't have to pay child support for your step-child but as they have been treatred as a child of the family (i.e. living with you and treated as part of your family) their needs are part of the picture.

    It would be very unusual for a court to order you to pay the mortgage long term. If your ex is able to afford the mortgage then a court might decide that it is fair for her to remain in the house , and for you to have your share of the equty later on, but if she can't afford to live in the hosue then the court is more likely to order that it is sold.

    If you separate, then she can apply for benefits as a single person, even if you are still both in the same house, and that may well make a diference to what she can afford in terms of rent / mortgage.
    All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)
  • anna_1977
    anna_1977 Posts: 862 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post
    go and get a free consultation with a solicitor - you need to get the advice.

    My OH is in the process of divorce, waiting for absolute. He stopped paying the mortgage for the house 12 months after leaving, it's wasn't possible to rent somewhere he could have the kids and pay for 75% of the mortgage. His solicitor advised he pay the recommended maintenance for the kids and then a separate payment for about £100 a month if affordable and then he could show he was doing what he could
  • rockyjr99
    rockyjr99 Posts: 8 Forumite
    edited 7 May 2019 at 9:50AM
    edit - privacy removed
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