Having children but sure if you really want to.

As others have already said it can only be your decision.



I always wanted children but was told I would be unlikely to have them due to medical issues, which was difficult to come to terms with.


About a year or so later I found myself unexpectedly pregnant and we were overjoyed.



I had a very difficult and traumatic birth and suffered from PND as a result but our daughter, who's nearly 20 now, has been the greatest joy in our lives.



I'm fortunate to have a very successful career and achieved a lot along the way, but none of it compares to being a Mum. My only regret is that I was unable to have any more.

I didn’t think that I would ever have kids, I married a horrible man in my 20’s and would never have had a child with him, he was a violent drunk.

I was quite happy to grow old with my flat and my two cats, when I met my second husband. He already had a couple of kids, plus numerous step-children. I always told him that I didn’t plan on having any children, assuming that he was quite happy with his brood already.

But I guess my biological clock kicked in and we decided to go for it. I got pregnant quite quickly, before we were married, and our son was born when I was 33 years old. He was, and still is, the light of my life. He’s bone-idle, messy, a bit of a scruffy git and has never learned how to clean the bathroom, or hang up his clothes. But he is kind and generous, has lovely manners, he’s never brought trouble to our door and is funny, quick-witted and has a smile which lights up the room.

He was a great kid, hard work at times (never slept for long!) but such a happy little soul. Even as a teenager, he wasn’t too much trouble, although he did disappear into his room and we didn’t see him again for around two years, unless he wanted cash or food...:rotfl:

I’ve never regretted him for a moment, despite never having a nice car, or exotic holidays, or loads of spare cash. Funnily enough, we’re going on our first foreign holiday for many years soon, me and my husband are off to a swanky hotel in the Canaries and our son is jetting off with the lads to Aiya Napa....we’re more worried about leaving him at the airport than we were on his first day at school!

It’s true...children are hard work, expensive and very tiring, certainly for the first few years. But the time passes so quickly, every so often, I look at him and wonder where my little boy has gone. I also wonder where all the food has gone....they never stop eating!!

andydownes123 wrote: »

I didn't say you had to choose between...but I'll bet you a shiny penny someone without kids has a much better chance of achieving that lifestyle.

You're probably right. It's just not a lifestyle a lot of people aspire to, me included. My kids never prevented me from having holidays, eating out, doing what I want when I wanted, you can have both. If you want to.

I’ve always known that I would never want children. I’ve often been surprised by the answers people give as to why they decided to have children. Things like ‘I need someone to look after me when I’m old’ (So, born with a job), or ‘I liked the thought of living on forever through my genes’ (which again seems self-centred). Other people didn’t have a reason at all, just apathy about birth control. With many people, it isn’t that they want children, it’s a fear of regret.

To me, none of these are good enough reasons. I think the only people who should have children are those who desperately want them and literally cannot bear the thought of life without them.

I've actually been told I'm selfish for not wanting children!!! As if it automatically makes you a "me, me, me" person.