Marriage Costs

Spendless · 3 March 2018 at 12:06PM

Gavin83 wrote: »

I've never been to a wedding without a free bar, I genuinely didn't think making guests pay for their drinks was a done thing.

I've never been to one with. I've been to 2 events that had a free bar. My Grandad's funeral (and I thought my Nan mad for providing it) and a corporate event by my DH's employer.

All the weddings I've attended have been free drink on arrival at reception, when I was younger this used to be sherry, nowadays more likely to be prosecco, asti, cava or a bucks fizz. Then there'd be champagne (or similar) for the toast and sometimes bottles of wine during the meal. All times outside of this drinks were paid for by the guests.

I suspect from what you've said, it's just 'normal' where you live/your social group to provide a free bar. Out of curiosity, how much do you expect the bar bill to come to?

Spendless · 3 March 2018 at 12:10PM

£20K isn't 2 full-time wages, so is one or both of you working part-time? Is your income purely made up out of your wages or do you receive anything else?

jackieblack · 3 March 2018 at 2:35PM

Pollycat wrote: »

Emphasis on 'they'.

It sounds very different to the OP:

Yes, you're right. Both have been equally involved

Not sure from the OPwhether he has any interest in the planning or just in how much it costs...

onlyroz · 3 March 2018 at 4:23PM

You can have a shoe string wedding for maybe £500. You can have a modest bash for less than £5k. If you spend £17k then presumably that involves limousines, professional photos, flowers, 3 course banquet, hire of fancy hotel, thousands on a fancy dress, suit and custom outfits for bridesmaids and groomsmen.

Spend what you want but I don’t think s fancy wedding is worth getting into debt for.

MothballsWallet · 3 March 2018 at 4:53PM

When Mrs MothballsWallet (MbW) and I got married back in 2001, I let her do most of the planning so that she got what she wanted and we spent nowhere near £17k.

We got married in the registry office, and my folks paid for the reception venue and meal for us - we also had a small number of guests (our 2 witnesses, her mum, my folks and a couple of friends).

We probably spent about no more than £1,500 in total from ourselves (I don't know how much my folks spent on the reception, which was in a local pub/restaurant) since she and her mum are from Russia, it cost a bit more because of visas and flights.

Gavin83 · 3 March 2018 at 9:42PM

Spendless wrote: »

I've never been to one with. I've been to 2 events that had a free bar. My Grandad's funeral (and I thought my Nan mad for providing it) and a corporate event by my DH's employer.

All the weddings I've attended have been free drink on arrival at reception, when I was younger this used to be sherry, nowadays more likely to be prosecco, asti, cava or a bucks fizz. Then there'd be champagne (or similar) for the toast and sometimes bottles of wine during the meal. All times outside of this drinks were paid for by the guests.

I suspect from what you've said, it's just 'normal' where you live/your social group to provide a free bar. Out of curiosity, how much do you expect the bar bill to come to?

I’ve never been to a non wedding event that had a free bar and I wouldn’t expect it to. For me weddings are different. I suspect it is just normal among my social group and it clearly isn’t for others, if another way works for other people then great.

In answer to your question given the time the bar will be open, the cost of the drinks and the number of guests I’d expect the bar bill to finish somewhere between £1.5-£2k.

onlyroz wrote: »

If you spend £17k then presumably that involves limousines, professional photos, flowers, 3 course banquet, hire of fancy hotel, thousands on a fancy dress, suit and custom outfits for bridesmaids and groomsmen.

I reckon that would cost a lot more than £17k. As an example we looked at a pretty upmarket wedding venue as a consideration and just for the venue hire and food it was £15k.

Gloomendoom · 3 March 2018 at 10:11PM

I'm beginning to wish I'd never mentioned the free bar!

I did it to illustrate that prioritising what is most important to you and ditching the unimportant stuff is a way to reduce costs. In our case we placed a free bar way above chair covers, table favours, hired suits/frocks, limousines, sweet trolleys, professional hair and makeup etc.

We made sure that everybody that was kind enough to turn up was fed and watered (tea, wine, beer, cider, whatever) all day and into the next morning. From the feedback we got, it was appreciated.

Spendless · 3 March 2018 at 10:13PM

FBaby wrote: »

What seems much more sensible is to forget about the free bar, but also don't ask for any wedding presents. In the end, most guests want to enjoy themselves but not have to fork a fortune doing so. Better to spend their money deciding how much they want to drink, then forking out for a present, especially when I see bride and groom asking for cash.

I have to say, I've been to weddings where they've left a nasty feeling about how much they've cost me to attend, but that has never ever been in relation to the bar bill. That's something that is relatively within your control depending on whether you're ordering champagne, gin and tonic or lime and soda.

The £50 round taxi trip because we couldn't get a room where the reception was, so had to book one 10 miles away and were charged £25 for going back there and another £25 to retrieve our car the following day. The price of the B&B because it was the only one that would take a 1 night booking in the summer (coastal area) the price of the food in the only shop near to the B&B, which we had to get something at, because the traffic had been horrendous on the way down and we couldn't risk coming off the motorway to find anywhere else, was an entirely different matter. Thankfully we'd all had outfits in our wardrobes, so hadn't had to fork out for them too. I still recall how expensive it was to attend that wedding. The drinks we paid for were probably the cheapest cost.

Gloomendoom · 3 March 2018 at 10:19PM

Gavin83 wrote: »

In answer to your question given the time the bar will be open, the cost of the drinks and the number of guests I!!!8217;d expect the bar bill to finish somewhere between £1.5-£2k.

I our case I think it was about £1k. The cost to us was considerably less as my parents supplied the wine (French booze cruise) and the barrel of cider by my wife's uncle (we helped make it). That left us to provide the soft drinks and beer which was bought when on special offer in various supermarkets.

We had a fair bit of booze left over and still have a few bottle now. The 100 bottles of fizz were quaffed though. Not surprising given that it was 32 degrees C on the day.

Gloomendoom · 3 March 2018 at 10:34PM

Spendless wrote: »

I have to say, I've been to weddings where they've left a nasty feeling about how much they've cost me to attend, but that has never ever been in relation to the bar bill. That's something that is relatively within your control depending on whether you're ordering champagne, gin and tonic or lime and soda.

I think my phobia started when I was expected to pay £6 for a pint of beer. That was in 1992!

I have since been to several more weddings since where the venue was taking the p!ss with the bar prices. I have been to a couple where half a glass of wine was provided by the happy couple and the venue was taking the p!ss.. One where no food, apart from a piece of wedding cake, was provided at all. Not really a problem if forewarned, but a bit annoying if you have just been invited to the evening do and driven 200 miles to get there.

These are all things that shaped our priority list. Plenty of food, drink and free accommodation (if you didn't mind camping).

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