Marriage Costs

Spendless wrote: »

I would say the difference is, at any other party thrown, the hosts pay for the food and not the bar bill. Eg It's my son's 18th today, he's not having a party (didn't want one) but if we had given him one, I would expect to pay for the room hire and the catering. I would not expect to fund people's drinks. The same is true of any other party I've been to, whether it's a milestone birthday, a Christening, an engagement or wedding anniversary. I therefore expect a wedding to follow the same format, at least to a degree. A drink on arrival and the toast I would expect to be provided for.

I'd be pretty miffed if wine wasn't provided with the meal but I certainly wouldn't expect to have an evening's drinking paid for!

jackieblack wrote: »

The difference is that at most receptions the hosts provide a meal, not an unlimited continuously running open kitchen

It's not that I don't agree with a free bar - it's your money, you can spend it however you like - I just don't think it's necessary.
None of our family or friends are big drinkers and alcohol would not be the most important element of the day. The drinks provided on arrival, wine provided with the meal and bubbly for the toast is a sufficient amount of alcohol for most people at a social occasion.

If that is sufficient, why have a bar at all?

Slinky wrote: »

What is it?

Not really sure there’s any value in me answering this question in this context just for you to respond that it’s crap. I don’t know you (presumably anyway), I don’t know your tastes and you aren’t attending my wedding. My question was more general. You seem to assume that you wouldn’t like a favour you received from a wedding, my point was that you could and therefore in this situation it wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing.

While I don’t know you I do know my guests and I know the majority will like the favour. That’s good enough for me.

Saying this I’m not a fan of a favour that’s a photo of the couple, a little trinket with the date on or anything like that. I don’t believe a favour is there as a way of promoting the wedding, I see it as a small gift for the guests. Therefore there’s no way of identifying from our favour it’s from our wedding, or even a wedding in general. The only way someone would know is by asking.

All I’m really hoping for is that is raises a few smiles and provides a bit of a talking point for a short time on the day, and maybe even an ice breaker for those who don’t know each other to converse. Anything beyond that, such as someone keeping it is a bonus.

Gloomendoom wrote: »

If that is sufficient, why have a bar at all?

If that was 'all' people wanted then I'd agree no need for a bar. IME the guests arrive at the reception way ahead of the bride and groom who are often taken off somewhere picturesque for the couples photos. When my sister married she counter acted this by requesting that the photos were taken in the gardens of where the wedding breakfast was taking place, so guests could at least watch whilst they had a drink, otherwise it's just 'hanging around waiting' they're doing. Then there's the timing of when the couple got married and when the daytime event is over and when the evening one starts, sometimes a couple of hours gap, sometimes not time at all. I think I'd dislike to be somewhere where I couldn't get a drink outside of welcome, toast and with main meal.

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I our case I think it was about £1k. The cost to us was considerably less as my parents supplied the wine (French booze cruise) and the barrel of cider by my wife's uncle (we helped make it). That left us to provide the soft drinks and beer which was bought when on special offer in various supermarkets.

We had a fair bit of booze left over and still have a few bottle now. The 100 bottles of fizz were quaffed though. Not surprising given that it was 32 degrees C on the day.

So your wedding was not in an hotel which would expect a profit on drink sales, then?