Marriage Costs

NeilCr wrote: »

The first was of a Sri Lankan friend of mine. Registry Office with a limited number of guests. Back to her place where her mum and her uncle, who is a chef, cooked up an amazing Sri Lankan feast. Second at a hotel, which was given over to the wedding, on a beautiful loch in Scotland. Smashing catering with the haggis (and a vegetarian version) being piped in.

I once went to my Indian friend's birthday party - his mum laid on the most amazing hot Indian buffet, and it was probably the best Indian food I'd ever had. However, there were definitely some of the guests turning up their noses at the food and loudly complaining about it. If you have even a handful of guests like that at a wedding then I can see why the hosts generally prefer to stick with something safe like a bland chicken dish with a few boring veggies on the side.

tho wrote: »

I've never attended a wedding with a free bar, but I've worked behind one. Without having the most moralistic guests you inevitably end up with a group who decide that instead of just a pint, they want a "oh go on, might as well make it a triple!" shot and mixer, probably still have the pint, and get a chaser for good measure. Several times. When the average persons drink cost per time changes from £3.50 to about £15, (those wedding bar prices still apply, just coming out the generous bride and grooms pocket) it quickly spirals out of control.

To be fair my guests arent dicks, I trust them not to take the mick and order what theyd order if they were paying. I think if people have guests like this at their wedding then they need to reassess their friends/relatives they invite.

On top of this we will almost certainly have some sort of rules in place for what can and can’t be ordered and I guess technically speaking we wont have a completely free bar, Id just be extremely shocked if the money we have runs out.

For those people who dont agree with a free bar would you see it as acceptable if guests were asked to pay for their food at a wedding? Whats the difference?

Mojisola wrote: »

Serious question - what are the guests meant to do with the favours - have a display shelf at home where the favours from every wedding they've been too are kept, drop them in the back of a drawer and try to remember to get them out if the couple visit in years to come or give them away to a charity shop?

Frankly whatever they like, its their gift. However its slightly personalised and really not that valuable so Id say the charity shop option is off the cards. If they wished to throw it away I wouldnt be offended.

However I know my guests, I know their tastes and I know the majority will really like the favour so as well as raising a few laughs at the wedding I wouldnt be surprised if most do display it somewhere. Its not big, only a few inches so its not exactly like theyll need a large space to dedicate to it.

NeilCr wrote: »

Having said that the two best weddings, foodwise (and overall, too), were entirely different.

Ive had a mixed bag. I went to one wedding in a 5* hotel where the food was average at best. That hotel has now gone out of business and I wasnt entirely surprised. Ive been to two weddings where the food stood out. One was in a hotel with a Michelin star restaurant and as expected the food was excellent. The other was an Indian wedding and as a fan of Indian cuisine I really enjoyed that too.

For our wedding I already know the food is good as I’ve eaten there and the guests on the day get a choice of three dishes for each course, we just need to decide what those dishes will be. Hoping the choice will keep most people happy.

NeilCr wrote: »

Do you?

If I ever got married again (not going to happen) I'd cater for vegetarians, vegans and coeliacs none of whom, I regard as fussy eaters, anyway. And that would be that and this is a fussy eater speaking. It's then what the two of us would like,

Plus I don't go to weddings for the food. Obviously, it's lovely to have super food that you like but not why I am there.

Make sure the venue and your guests know what's happening though if you ever arrange one. We went to 2 weddings last year. The first was the canapes after the 4pm service, followed by a substantial buffet around 9pm that I've already described. The canapes were insufficient for the guests who'd all travelled a fair distance to be there.

The other was my sis-in-laws wedding. She catered for vegetarians. The venue hadn't thought to include vegetarian gravy with their veggie option and didn't have any to make up either. This was a hotel that had the wedding service there too, I'd have expected them to cater for vegetarians quite frequently.

Gavin83 wrote: »

For those people who dont agree with a free bar would you see it as acceptable if guests were asked to pay for their food at a wedding? Whats the difference?

I would say the difference is, at any other party thrown, the hosts pay for the food and not the bar bill. Eg It's my son's 18th today, he's not having a party (didn't want one) but if we had given him one, I would expect to pay for the room hire and the catering. I would not expect to fund people's drinks. The same is true of any other party I've been to, whether it's a milestone birthday, a Christening, an engagement or wedding anniversary. I therefore expect a wedding to follow the same format, at least to a degree. A drink on arrival and the toast I would expect to be provided for.

Mojisola wrote: »

Serious question - what are the guests meant to do with the favours - have a display shelf at home where the favours from every wedding they've been too are kept, drop them in the back of a drawer and try to remember to get them out if the couple visit in years to come or give them away to a charity shop?

My thoughts exactly. People don't want a keepsake of your wedding cluttering up their homes, however much they love you. Let them have their memories of your day, whatever photos they took they want to keep and leave it at that. If you must have favours let it be something they can eat and not feel guilty about throwing away.