Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • LameWolf
    • By LameWolf 14th Jan 09, 3:22 AM
    • 10,969Posts
    • 120,539Thanks
    LameWolf
    Black Dog of Depression - can we help each other?
    • #1
    • 14th Jan 09, 3:22 AM
    Black Dog of Depression - can we help each other? 14th Jan 09 at 3:22 AM
    Hello Friends

    It's silly o'clock as I type this, but I've been lying in bed unable to sleep, and it occurs to me that there's not a Depression thread yet.

    I think those of us who suffer this can help each other. I'd like to think so, anyway; I do know that, as a MoneySaving forum, it is relevant for those of us who go a bit OTT with the spending when the Black Dog has us. I know I do - I spend far and away too much on alcohol.

    Depression is as much a disability as the physical stuff (of which I do have some also, I have lupus) but it is so sad that it is seen as something you can "pull yourself together" from. Etc, etc. If you've read this far, you know that it doesn't work that way.

    OK, to get to the point..... I have had severe depression from very early in life (diagnosed at the age of 12, I have been on various anti-d's for the last 37 years) and I'd like to offer a "paw" of friendship to others in the jaws of the Black Dog.

    I can't, obviously, wave a magic wand and solve all your problems, but I do think that we can perhaps share coping strategies, and maybe provide some mutual support.
    LameWolf
    If your dog thinks you're the best, don't seek a second opinion.
Page 1
    • bushbaby1103
    • By bushbaby1103 14th Jan 09, 3:37 AM
    • 4,800 Posts
    • 7,782 Thanks
    bushbaby1103
    • #2
    • 14th Jan 09, 3:37 AM
    • #2
    • 14th Jan 09, 3:37 AM
    Hiya LW

    Guess you has depression and can't sleep either? I think it would a great idea for a depression thread. Good thinking!

    Like you I was diagnosed as a child (at 9yrs) I think there is a link between childhood dep' and having it in adult life. I'm one of the few folk who get on with seroxat (after yrs of no anti-d's)

    I see a counsellor every wk which has saved my life. Have you had any therapy? Am I right in thinking you have fibro too? I think they go hand in hand.

    Not sleeping is a b**ch. Why does it always happen when we need to sleep after a bad day or have something imp' to do the next day? At least you have some good ideas when you can't sleep, I just eat crisps and get grumpy

    Let's hope today is a good one.

    nb:I've just seen that you have lupus, my mum had that too, my heart goes out to you it's a really horrid condition.
    Last edited by bushbaby1103; 14-01-2009 at 3:41 AM.
    Yes, it's true hell IS other people
    And remember the problem is them, not you.
    Devilsand demons walk among us in human form.wake up people, it's a man.
    • shazrobo
    • By shazrobo 14th Jan 09, 8:09 AM
    • 3,284 Posts
    • 15,146 Thanks
    shazrobo
    • #3
    • 14th Jan 09, 8:09 AM
    • #3
    • 14th Jan 09, 8:09 AM
    hi there, i suffer from depression too, and i found the depression support thread over on the health and beauty board to be very useful, everyone there is so supportive
    hugs
    shaz x
    enjoy life, we only get one chance at it
    • allydowd
    • By allydowd 14th Jan 09, 8:54 AM
    • 4,645 Posts
    • 30,557 Thanks
    allydowd
    • #4
    • 14th Jan 09, 8:54 AM
    • #4
    • 14th Jan 09, 8:54 AM
    I managed to get my depression under control by changing all the bad things in my life and by getting a new, supportive partner and a routine. For me the key was to make myself get out of bed, get showered, get dressed, get fed every morning then plan my day so that I would be busy. This won't work for everyone, but it was what I needed.
    Debt-free day: 8th May 2015
    The Joy Account: 100

    Travel 500 Miles Free Challenge: 435/500
    "Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck," Dalai Llama
    • munchings-n-crunchings
    • By munchings-n-crunchings 14th Jan 09, 10:06 AM
    • 888 Posts
    • 880 Thanks
    munchings-n-crunchings
    • #5
    • 14th Jan 09, 10:06 AM
    Depression
    • #5
    • 14th Jan 09, 10:06 AM
    Hello LameWolf,

    I'd like to throw something into this conversation that has worked for me.
    Like most, the lack of sleep due to depression, and the resulting pressure I would put myself under trying to get some sleep was difficult to dealt with. After a spell on prozac and the horrific nightmare nightmares that resulted, my daughter provided me the the solution.

    At bedtime we have a story cd, something along the lines of The Owl who was Afraid of the Dark, Spiderwick Chronicles, The Wind in the Willows. I was shocked how little of the story I heard, before being soundly asleep. Over a 2 week period, I would manage to hear more and more of the stroy, and then would change to a new story.

    If it works for children, it's not surprising it still works for us grown ups.
    For a period of time, we can relax and listen to a story, without turning all the usual stuff over and over in our brains.
    Even if it doesn't work for you, it's still a lovely way to go to bed,

    Regards

    Munchie
    • TaBunny
    • By TaBunny 14th Jan 09, 2:37 PM
    • 1,790 Posts
    • 1,116 Thanks
    TaBunny
    • #6
    • 14th Jan 09, 2:37 PM
    • #6
    • 14th Jan 09, 2:37 PM
    Hey woolfie you were there for me last week and I'm hear now for you, that's the thing we all need is support now and then and your forum idea sounds interesting maybe the Mods could look into it. For now here's a big HUG and a SQUEEZE not too tight mind don't want to break my silly arms lol, you take care and know that there's people out there you've never even met or set eyes upon who are rooting for you and are always at the end of the line ;O)

    Oh and as for the sleeping, well I used to not be able to sleep due to the pain but then I took up reading until I fell asleep in fact some nights I fall asleep and get awoken by the book dropping on my face LOL but I know reading doesn't do for everyone.
    • LameWolf
    • By LameWolf 14th Jan 09, 2:58 PM
    • 10,969 Posts
    • 120,539 Thanks
    LameWolf
    • #7
    • 14th Jan 09, 2:58 PM
    • #7
    • 14th Jan 09, 2:58 PM
    Thank you to all of you who have replied on this thread; I think knowing that you're not alone, even if the "company" is via the computer, is a great help.

    It's interesting that Bushbaby mentions that counselling has been helpful. I'm pleased to hear that; finding something that works, whatever it may be, can be a long and tiresome road.

    For my own case, I have had more counselling/CBT/psychotherapy in one lifetime than anyone should have to go through in three, and have actually found it to be counterproductive.

    I have had just about every anti-d known to science (or at least the NHS lol) - long story short, I can't remember the names of the first three or four anti-d's I had, but in my mid 20's they put me on Amytriptiline, which sent me pretty much "up with the fairies" to the extent that I was a danger to myself and others. After that came Seroxat, which was fine for quite a few years, then when that stopped working, I went onto moclobemide (Manerix) which I am still on.

    Do you feel, as I do, that increasing levels of disability (I am now housebound unless my OH is around to help me get out) exacerbate depression? :confused:

    Also, I gather that in some conditions, the illness itself can cause changes in brain chemistry that can bring on, or at least increase, depression.:confused:

    It's a long and complicated subject, which I have very limited understanding of, I have to say.:confused:

    Anyway, lets hope that between us we can get out various Black Dogs to shut up, lie down and behave for a bit.
    LameWolf
    If your dog thinks you're the best, don't seek a second opinion.
  • Gemmzie
    • #8
    • 14th Jan 09, 3:58 PM
    • #8
    • 14th Jan 09, 3:58 PM
    Interesting that you say about the links between illness and disability, I've been wondering that myself for a while now. I can't remember if I was ill first or depressed first and which caused/exacerbated the other.
    No longer using this account for new posts from 2013
    • TaBunny
    • By TaBunny 14th Jan 09, 5:37 PM
    • 1,790 Posts
    • 1,116 Thanks
    TaBunny
    • #9
    • 14th Jan 09, 5:37 PM
    • #9
    • 14th Jan 09, 5:37 PM
    I know that one of the side effects of rhuematoid is depression also I suffer from SAD in the winter but I bought a light box for the winter and that seems to of helped a little, pain will cause depression it's never gonna make us happy well unless someones a real kinky sadist eek I've been in the wrong life lol
    • bushbaby1103
    • By bushbaby1103 14th Jan 09, 6:45 PM
    • 4,800 Posts
    • 7,782 Thanks
    bushbaby1103
    Hi folks, hope you've all had a nice day

    M&C - I completely forgot that I downloaded some free audio books (via special offer from local radio). I got into such a tizz last night that I didn't think to listen to them. It's true they do help, I fall asleep before the stories end and sometimes dream about them while I sleep... lol

    LW & Gemmzie - I've never thought about which came first (Dep' or illness), when I'm feeling a bit stronger I'll try and get to the bottom of it with my GP. It would make sense because I can remember always being 'sad' or 'down' as a child and I think things got worse at puberty, which is when the physical symptoms surfaced. Also the idea that illnesses can change the brain chemistry and maybe trigger dep' makes sense because it gets worse when I am in pain and it's not just because things hurt. It's almost as if I shut down emotionally and cognitively for a while. I wonder if that's why amytriptiline sometimes helps with my Fibro? Can you remember where you heard about this? I'd really like to find out more about it.

    LW - Very sorry to hear that therapy hasn't helped. I've been SO lucky to find a counsellor that I 'click' with. She has RA and it's a relief to not have to explain how I feel, she understands instinctively. I hope the Manerix continues to help you (is it OK to send you a hug? )

    Actually I'll send everyone a hug

    NB: Just got an email from the audio book people the 14 day free trial is still on (remember to cancel b4 14 days is up, that's what I did) which is the best place to post the info?
    Last edited by bushbaby1103; 14-01-2009 at 6:51 PM.
    Yes, it's true hell IS other people
    And remember the problem is them, not you.
    Devilsand demons walk among us in human form.wake up people, it's a man.
  • Gemmzie
    I've never found a counsellor I've clicked with, first one was nice but was part of family services and I was far too close to the problems (emotionally) to talk properly, second was awful - a volunteer - she was accusatory and rude, third was a nice bloke but just couldn't talk to him. Guess I should try again soon.
    No longer using this account for new posts from 2013
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 14th Jan 09, 8:01 PM
    • 9,252 Posts
    • 17,238 Thanks
    calleyw
    there is a depression thread over on the health board.

    There are few regulars over there.

    My husbands depression was triggered by his stroke. Because he knows now that he will never have a"normal life" again.

    I have not been diagnosed by my gp. But believe because of what has happened to my husband. And problems it has caused physically and financially. That I suffer.

    Well it is hardly normal to go around a supermarket and suddenly feel so low that you want to burst in to tears.

    To the outside world it all looks ok, I am carer for my husband. Only work part time because of safety fears. But inside I am mess and have no close friends to talk to.

    Yours

    Calley
    • black paw
    • By black paw 14th Jan 09, 11:24 PM
    • 1,775 Posts
    • 1,147 Thanks
    black paw
    well done on this new post lamewolf . i got 3 hours sleep last night , i also have fibromyalgia and have been in so much pain lately, prob the weather. heating turned up to 75 decree .get very depressed as i can't do any thing i.e yet another day in doing nothing to save energy to hopefully go out the next day to get shopping. friend will get stuff ,but that's not the point i want to go , oh dear having good old moan now !! i have to fact fact i can't do what i use to do only 4 years ago any more . the is the hard part . i have lose alot of so called freinds due to being to worn out to go out and unable to walk to far with them . moan moan moan ,well thats it off to bed to try to sleep again , don't want to take pill as will be a zombie tomorrow = another day in !
    the truth is out there ... on these pages !!
    Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
    • Savvy_Sue
    • By Savvy_Sue 15th Jan 09, 12:00 AM
    • 40,271 Posts
    • 37,711 Thanks
    Savvy_Sue
    there is a depression thread over on the health board.
    Originally posted by calleyw
    There is indeed, and you would all be most welcome there, but I would ask you to read the first post before you join us.
    Still knitting!
    Completed: TWO adult cardigans, 3 baby jumpers, 3 shawls, 1 sweat band, 3 pairs baby bootees, 2 sets of handwarmers, 1 Wise Man Knitivity figure + 1 sheep, 2 pairs socks, 3 balaclavas, multiple hats and poppies, 3 peony flowers, 4 butterflies ...
    Current projects: pink balaclava (for myself), seaman's hat, about to start another cardigan!
    • TaBunny
    • By TaBunny 15th Jan 09, 11:50 AM
    • 1,790 Posts
    • 1,116 Thanks
    TaBunny
    Hey wolfie hope you're doing OK today
    • LameWolf
    • By LameWolf 15th Jan 09, 1:19 PM
    • 10,969 Posts
    • 120,539 Thanks
    LameWolf
    Hello again,

    I hope everyone's Black Dogs are lying down in their baskets today.

    I think Jamla has mentioned something very relevant - facing the fact that we can't do things we used to. So maybe it's a sort of "mourning process" for the healthy person we used to be? I certainly fet extremely irritated at not (for instance) being able to go to the supermarket alone. Yes I know I could order online, but it's not the same as going and selecting the stuff myself. And if I have to enlist my husband's help, with anything at all, and I very often do have to, I feel such a total failure, having always been totally self-reliant before. Does this ring a bell with anyone?

    I must admit, it'd never have occurred to me to visit a "health & beauty" board, as I'm (obviously) not healthy, and by no stretch of the imagination beautiful. lol.

    Well, I'm off to find another clean hanky, as I have a doozy of a cold at the moment. Have good days, all.
    LameWolf
    If your dog thinks you're the best, don't seek a second opinion.
    • Savvy_Sue
    • By Savvy_Sue 15th Jan 09, 8:51 PM
    • 40,271 Posts
    • 37,711 Thanks
    Savvy_Sue
    at the idea we're all healthy and beautiful on the Health and Beauty board - far from it, I assure you! We aspire, we hope, we try ...
    Still knitting!
    Completed: TWO adult cardigans, 3 baby jumpers, 3 shawls, 1 sweat band, 3 pairs baby bootees, 2 sets of handwarmers, 1 Wise Man Knitivity figure + 1 sheep, 2 pairs socks, 3 balaclavas, multiple hats and poppies, 3 peony flowers, 4 butterflies ...
    Current projects: pink balaclava (for myself), seaman's hat, about to start another cardigan!
    • munchings-n-crunchings
    • By munchings-n-crunchings 15th Jan 09, 10:18 PM
    • 888 Posts
    • 880 Thanks
    munchings-n-crunchings
    Bedtime
    Hello,
    Bushbaby,
    Glad to hear bedtime cd stories work for others, so often I'm in the land of nod before I'm at the end of the first chapter.
    A friend bought me The Reluctant Dragon for Christmas so I'm putting that on for the first time tonight.
    I try and get the freebies from newspapers or cereal boxes, and stick to kids stories as they are more relaxing.
    I know sleep is only a fraction of the problem, but I cope better with a reasonable night's kip.

    Regards

    Munchie
    • bushbaby1103
    • By bushbaby1103 16th Jan 09, 12:28 AM
    • 4,800 Posts
    • 7,782 Thanks
    bushbaby1103
    Hi Munchie & everyone

    What is it about audio books that works so well? I had a fab nights sleep last night thanks to Agatha Christie. I downloaded a collection of Miss Marple & Poirot stories. Am yet to stay awake long enough to find out whodunnit :rolleyes:

    I must remember the audio books next time I can't sleep.
    Am snuggled up in bed with a pack of hob-nobs and two cats, we're listening to Death on the Nile....Bliss

    Hope you all had a good day and wish you all a cosy, restful night
    Yes, it's true hell IS other people
    And remember the problem is them, not you.
    Devilsand demons walk among us in human form.wake up people, it's a man.
    • black paw
    • By black paw 16th Jan 09, 1:13 AM
    • 1,775 Posts
    • 1,147 Thanks
    black paw
    mourning process
    hi wolfie , yes i think its a mourning process , as i wish, i was as i was , before the accident , i miss doing nice things, going out , had to give up most of my hobbies , i want to work full time, i want my jeep back .i want i want i want , but not going to get sniff sniff sniff ,small pat on back and large hug. little blue car is better than jeep well feel a lot better now dog gone to basket 4 the night . and I've eaten bounty bar ,choc gone all over key board but who cares
    the truth is out there ... on these pages !!
    Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

3,983Posts Today

8,907Users online

Martin's Twitter