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  • FIRST POST
    • markyyyyyy
    • By markyyyyyy 17th Oct 19, 10:47 AM
    • 75Posts
    • 10Thanks
    markyyyyyy
    My situation and advice needed please
    • #1
    • 17th Oct 19, 10:47 AM
    My situation and advice needed please 17th Oct 19 at 10:47 AM
    Hi,

    Myself and my wife are splitting up. We own a home together and have a 2 year old son.

    After maternity leave, my wife has been back to work full time. I am self employed and I am only earning 4-500 max a week before tax, and I'm also looking after our son on a Wednesday and Friday. He goes to nursery on the other 3 days.

    As we're splitting up, i'm forced to return to where I used to live in bristol and as my customer base is 200 miles away, I have to start at the bottom of the career ladder - going to have a career change.

    She's on a good income (marketing manager). I'm expected to pay maintenance, 50% of his nursery fees, alongside travel expenses (200 miles each way) which will only be once a month unfortunately.

    We are selling the house and as I put most money into it she's being amicable and allowing me to have 2/3 of equity.

    Is this normally the case? Does my maintenance go on my new salary when I get another job?

    Thanks for your help in advance
    Savings aim for 2012: 5000 = 416.60 per month

    Current Savings excluding M&G Investments (18/11/11):
    Britannia: 5334

    Total Aim for 31/12/12: 10,334
Page 1
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 17th Oct 19, 10:58 AM
    • 31,710 Posts
    • 81,277 Thanks
    Mojisola
    • #2
    • 17th Oct 19, 10:58 AM
    • #2
    • 17th Oct 19, 10:58 AM
    As your wife is working full-time and you care for your son during the week, why aren't you becoming his main carer?
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 17th Oct 19, 12:11 PM
    • 10,366 Posts
    • 12,540 Thanks
    Comms69
    • #3
    • 17th Oct 19, 12:11 PM
    • #3
    • 17th Oct 19, 12:11 PM
    Hi,

    Myself and my wife are splitting up. We own a home together and have a 2 year old son.

    After maternity leave, my wife has been back to work full time. I am self employed and I am only earning 4-500 max a week before tax, and I'm also looking after our son on a Wednesday and Friday. He goes to nursery on the other 3 days.

    As we're splitting up, i'm forced to return to where I used to live in bristol and as my customer base is 200 miles away, I have to start at the bottom of the career ladder - going to have a career change. - Why are you leaving if you seem to be the primary care giver?

    She's on a good income (marketing manager). I'm expected to pay maintenance - correct, if you leave , 50% of his nursery fees - if you want , alongside travel expenses (200 miles each way) which will only be once a month unfortunately. - up to you

    We are selling the house and as I put most money into it she's being amicable and allowing me to have 2/3 of equity. - seems reasonable

    Is this normally the case? Does my maintenance go on my new salary when I get another job? - generally yes

    Thanks for your help in advance
    Originally posted by markyyyyyy


    Still not sure why she isn't paying maintenance and you providing care
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 17th Oct 19, 12:29 PM
    • 31,710 Posts
    • 81,277 Thanks
    Mojisola
    • #4
    • 17th Oct 19, 12:29 PM
    • #4
    • 17th Oct 19, 12:29 PM
    I'm expected to pay maintenance, 50% of his nursery fees, alongside travel expenses (200 miles each way) which will only be once a month unfortunately.

    Does my maintenance go on my new salary when I get another job?
    Originally posted by markyyyyyy
    If you do decide to be the NRP, you will have to pay a percentage of your salary - there's no obligation to pay other things like nursery fees.

    If you stayed in the family home with your son, his life and your work would be able to continue as it is now.
    • TBagpuss
    • By TBagpuss 17th Oct 19, 1:02 PM
    • 7,698 Posts
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    TBagpuss
    • #5
    • 17th Oct 19, 1:02 PM
    • #5
    • 17th Oct 19, 1:02 PM
    Why do you have to move 200 miles away? Why not rent a flat or room locally so you can keep your curent job?

    If she earns more than you, you could propose that your child live with you and that you become either a full time parent , or work part time around child care .

    If you do move, then yes, child maintenace is based on your actual income, so you would recalculate it based on your earnings. You are not legally required to pay nursery gfees on top of that.

    You could propose that you and your ex share the travelling - perhaps you could collect your child from mum at the start of any weekend or other timethey ave with you, and she could collect from your home at the end of the visit, so that both of you are doing some of the travelling.
    • BrassicWoman
    • By BrassicWoman 17th Oct 19, 1:31 PM
    • 2,253 Posts
    • 8,680 Thanks
    BrassicWoman
    • #6
    • 17th Oct 19, 1:31 PM
    • #6
    • 17th Oct 19, 1:31 PM
    it makes more sense for you to be the main carer and her to pay maintenance; also for her to move out.
    May 19 grocery challenge 100.79/ 200
    • sheramber
    • By sheramber 17th Oct 19, 2:50 PM
    • 7,149 Posts
    • 5,412 Thanks
    sheramber
    • #7
    • 17th Oct 19, 2:50 PM
    • #7
    • 17th Oct 19, 2:50 PM
    If you are living 200 miles away and working for an employer how will you continue to look after your son two days a week?

    Will he have to go nursery 5 days a week when you leave?

    You can calculate the amount if maintenance you should pay here https://www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance
    • kazwookie
    • By kazwookie 17th Oct 19, 3:04 PM
    • 11,108 Posts
    • 131,303 Thanks
    kazwookie
    • #8
    • 17th Oct 19, 3:04 PM
    • #8
    • 17th Oct 19, 3:04 PM
    I'd stay put in the house, your wife moves out.


    Once the child is 18 then look again at the situation.


    You care for the child as you are now, your wife pays for the care etc.
    Sun, Sea

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