Summer Ball Help

AuroraHW · 26 April 2016 at 10:34AM

Hi Guys,

I'm going out with a guy in the army and balls have obviously been discussed and i haven't worried about it. However, he informed me last night the summer ball is coming up (july) and the dress code is smart casual. Can someone please help? I understand smart casual but want to make sure i get this right as its our first do together. I have no idea about dress length or what should definitely be avoided or where to get one that isnt going to break the bank. Is there anything I should avoid doing during the entire thing so I don't show him up?

Trying_to_be_good · 26 April 2016 at 10:44PM

Balls are normally evening or cocktail dress (black or white tie), not smart casual which would be pretty much anything except jeans.
It'll be down to local interpretation, do you know any other wives/girlfriends/female soldiers who will be going? They're likely to be the best people to ask. Lots of eBay opportunity, or charity shops can have some great dresses.

Have a fantastic time :-)

AuroraHW · 27 April 2016 at 9:33AM

I know absolutely nobody, we've only been together for a few months and won't meet anyone until this weekend (army v navy rugby match), I'm fairly shy with people as well so I'd need to meet the women a few times before I'd feel comfortable enough with them. At least I've got a couple months to worry about it and figure it out at least.

13Kent · 28 April 2016 at 10:17PM

Hmm I don't think smart casual is the way to go, usually a long dress, maybe like a prom dress, with a wrap or bolero type jacket to cover shoulders - the wrap usually gets discarded at some point in the evening, but it's protocol to have. Ebay is a good place to look, or there are usually dress agencies or thrift shops near military camps where people often sell dresses they don't need anymore. Summer balls are the most casual of all the events usually, and they are a lot of fun, be prepared to be on fairground rides in an evening dress and high heels - with lots of other ladies, including those who may be as old as your mum! Enjoy, it will be lovely!

Tiddlywinks · 29 April 2016 at 12:15AM

Is it an Officer or SNCO event? Each mess has different 'tolerances' of the rules. Some insist arms or just shoulders are covered, some say nothing above the knee, some RSM or OCs would comment if they were unhappy whereas others would just pull the offender's partner up on it back at the office.

Ask your BF these specific questions as men rarely really understand how much effort is required for 'smart casual', formal or whatever... and get him to ask someone reliable.

Is it REALLY smart casual or is he guessing?

Can you show shoulders, ankles, knees?

Are you expected to wear sober colours or does anything go?

Also, is it a formal meal? If so ask about the rules... name cards, port etc... it's in his best interests to brief you.

Over the years I've seen standards relaxed somewhat and at some events the women looked like they were going clubbing -but then another location or another boss would have a fit if a tattoo was on show.

As said above, a wrap is always really useful - it can keep you warm, hide stains from a spilt drink, cover your head in light rain for getting to and from transport etc.

You can never go wrong with a simple black dress and dress it up with a colourful wrap and matching accessories.

I gave up wearing high heels to these events as it was just too blummin' painful as you can spend hours up and down and, if outside on grass, it's easy to sink. I'd recommend mid-height or kitten heels and then enjoy yourself.

If it's going right through til breakfast then take some comfie stuff to change into for on the way home as you'll feel like you've been up for a week.

Finally, just relax and be yourself - believe me, they've seen all walks of life in a mess and you will have to go a long way to match some of the outrageous behaviour that I've seen over the years.

Er, that's it - have a great time.

martinbuckley · 2 May 2016 at 7:26PM

If its "smart casual", it sounds more like a section function to me rather than a Mess do, where its all formal and everyone is dressed to out-do everyone else.

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