I want to believe I can do this!

pidge04 · 30 September 2018 at 9:28PM

BabyStepper wrote: »

Hi there pidge04

I've just read your diary and wanted to congratulate you on all your progress. You are doing so well...keep going! The rewards will be worth all the sacrifice. Looking forward to hearing about you paying off those two credit cards by the end of the year, what an achievement!

Thank you SO much for this lovely post! I massively appreciate it!
Yes, it is pretty hard going at the moment but I must bear in mind that by the end of this year, I will have paid almost £7,000 off my debt. And that makes my load a lot lighter. I hope you are doing well. I am just going to take a look at your diary.

pidge04 · 1 October 2018 at 6:23AM

Day 7 81 days left!

I feel quite bruised by the negative experience of the weekend. Keen to put it right behind me and move forward. Didn’t spend anything yesterday and today will be the same. I wonder if I could get through the week without spending a single penny! I looked at the bag of bits I had got together to sell and there is more in there than I thought. I must put them up for sale!! I may well have £20 worth of debt reducing money sitting in that bag!! Have a good, cheap week!

GlendaSugarbean · 1 October 2018 at 8:22AM

Chin up Pidge, you did well in stepping away from a stressful situation. Hope you have a nice quiet week

.

abba1772 · 1 October 2018 at 8:37AM

Sorry you had a bad experience with the baby sitting.....look at it as a blessing in disguise as I wouldn't tolerate a family treating me like that, I've been childminding for 7 years now and I've had to develop a thick skin and you will too eventually

Don't be put off as their are wonderful families out there that you require your services xx

SavingAFuture · 1 October 2018 at 10:09AM

So sorry to hear you had a bad experience with your babysitting. That is not OK.
People seem to forget that they are dealing with other human beings sometimes.
Still - chin up and keep moving forward. Don't let one individual set you back when you've been doing so well on your own journey. x

efes_shareholder · 1 October 2018 at 10:42AM

Sounds like you have been dealing with a bit of a challenging parent

Some people seem to go through life just wanting to reap a bit of misery on to others

Be thankful you won't be dealing with them anymore

Siebrie · 1 October 2018 at 11:24AM

Hi Pidge, I have read through your diary over the weekend, and you seem to be doing well; keep going!

You said somewhere in the beginning that you didn't want to discuss your relationship with your partner (I assume he is the father of your dd), but I think you should at least think hard about how you want to handle the disparity in income, and in household and childrearing contribution. For instance: that iron that you bought, whose clothes are ironed with that the most? And who does most of the ironing?

Amy Dacyczyn mentions in The Tightwad Gazette that she and her husband have equalized their fulltime/parttime/freelance/non-working discrepancies by calculating 'hours worked per day, in whatever shape or form'. So, doing laundry counted as much as going to an office. No-one sat down to read a paper until they could all sit down.

From the few remarks you made, I think your husband is from a different culture, and that his relatives in his homecountry are relatively poor. Is there any way you can discuss a budget in regards to helping them out? Note that I am not saying 'don't help them out', as I am in a marriage with an African partner and see the demands and needs firsthand. A book that helped me is 'helping without hurting'; it's christian faith based, but gives overall sensible advice.

I am sorry if this feels like prying where you don't want people to pry, that is not my intention.

pidge04 · 1 October 2018 at 6:07PM

abba1772 wrote: »

Sorry you had a bad experience with the baby sitting.....look at it as a blessing in disguise as I wouldn't tolerate a family treating me like that, I've been childminding for 7 years now and I've had to develop a thick skin and you will too eventually

Don't be put off as their are wonderful families out there that you require your services xx

Thanks so much for this. I think it shows how fragile I am feeling at the moment that I was so hurt by this. Maybe again in the future when I am stronger.

pidge04 · 1 October 2018 at 6:08PM

SavingAFuture wrote: »

So sorry to hear you had a bad experience with your babysitting. That is not OK.
People seem to forget that they are dealing with other human beings sometimes.
Still - chin up and keep moving forward. Don't let one individual set you back when you've been doing so well on your own journey. x

Thank you so much.

pidge04 · 1 October 2018 at 6:17PM

Siebrie wrote: »

Hi Pidge, I have read through your diary over the weekend, and you seem to be doing well; keep going!

You said somewhere in the beginning that you didn't want to discuss your relationship with your partner (I assume he is the father of your dd), but I think you should at least think hard about how you want to handle the disparity in income, and in household and childrearing contribution. For instance: that iron that you bought, whose clothes are ironed with that the most? And who does most of the ironing?

Amy Dacyczyn mentions in The Tightwad Gazette that she and her husband have equalized their fulltime/parttime/freelance/non-working discrepancies by calculating 'hours worked per day, in whatever shape or form'. So, doing laundry counted as much as going to an office. No-one sat down to read a paper until they could all sit down.

From the few remarks you made, I think your husband is from a different culture, and that his relatives in his homecountry are relatively poor. Is there any way you can discuss a budget in regards to helping them out? Note that I am not saying 'don't help them out', as I am in a marriage with an African partner and see the demands and needs firsthand. A book that helped me is 'helping without hurting'; it's christian faith based, but gives overall sensible advice.

I am sorry if this feels like prying where you don't want people to pry, that is not my intention.

Ah, interesting. Thanks so much for this. Yes, he does come from a different country and a different culture. I find it all extremely complicated to be honest. I don't quite know how to articulate my feelings about him, our relationship, our financial arrangements and how on earth we will move apart in the future. I couldn't sleep one night last week and I wrote him a letter in the middle of the night - it all felt very clear then. I haven't done anything with that letter. It just feels completely hopeless. When I have no debt, I will have more options. Can't carry on like this. That wouldn't be healthy for any of us. Sorry … a bit vague and wishy washy … just don't have any clarity on this, I'm afraid.

I want to believe I can do this!

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