Problem obtaining deceased's possessions

BigRedBus · 19 June 2019 at 11:06AM

My mother died 3 months ago and I am one of the Executors and also a beneficiary. Her estate, including her chattels were left to myself and my brother as beneficiaries.

She lived with her husband who is not our father (second marriage). However, he is being extremely awkward and not allowing us access to the property to collect my mother's belongings, and neither is he willing to hand anything over to us. Her jewellery and other personal possessions are still in the property. He refuses to speak to us, and although we have been made aware he has consulted a solicitor, we don't know what his instructions or intentions are as no-one has heard anything from him in this regard.

We have a solicitor who is dealing with the administration of the estate, ie probate, and he is acting on behalf of the Executors. However, the solicitor has said that he would not be able to also act on behalf of the beneficiaries and the beneficiaries would need to appoint another solicitor if there is any dispute.

My question is what, if anything can we do to obtain my mother's possessions from the property? Could we issue a court order? If so, should this be from the Executors or from the beneficiaries? What can we do to get our mum's belongings, which now under the terms of the Will belong to the Executors/beneficiaries? I would be quite happy to meet with him, but this is just not going to happen, as he has made it quite clear that he wants nothing more to do with us.

Our solicitor has written to his solicitor pointing out that mum's possessions now belong to the estate and he is not at liberty to dispose of them, but who knows what his intentions are? What action is open to us if we find out that he has been giving away and/or selling mum's stuff?

pphillips · 19 June 2019 at 2:29PM

If the husband disposes of the deceased's possessions he will be treated as being an executor in his own wrong and will be liable for any losses he causes to the estate.

TonyMMM · 19 June 2019 at 3:31PM

Whoever is named in the will as executors are the ones who have to deal with this, not the beneficiaries.

As you may have an action against the executors if they fail to look after the assets of the estate then it is quite understandable that any solicitor they have employed cannot represent you as well.

Sea_Shell · 19 June 2019 at 3:59PM

Yes, technically they are yours.

However, please don't lose sight of the fact that he's just lost his wife.

The last thing he needs is family pestering him to hand over all her possessions, including jewelry, of which some, he may have actually bought her!

Maybe write, offering the olive branch of time for him to come to terms with everything, before mentioning it again.

BigRedBus · 19 June 2019 at 4:13PM

Hi, I understand that as executors, we have responsibility to look after the assets. However, how can I and the other executor do this if the husband is not allowing us access to the property and is refusing to hand over my mother's personal belongings?

It's hard enough dealing with grief after my mother's death without having to deal with all this extra upset and not being able to get my mother's possessions. I just want to get mum's things, but he is being awkward and obstructive and refusing to hand anything over.

I understand he has lost his wife, but we have also lost our mother. We have written, but he has ignored our letter, he is just refusing to have any sort of contact with us at all.

Sea_Shell · 19 June 2019 at 4:38PM

You are all hurting at the moment, and it's all still very raw. 3 months is no time at all really.

What is it you really want? Specific sentimental or valuable items or everything? Clothes/nick naks etc?

It could (to him) sound like you want access to their house, to strip out every last item of your mum's. That's probably his biggest fear right now as he doesn't want to let things (anything) go. So he's gone into lockdown.

pphillips · 19 June 2019 at 5:02PM

BigRedBus wrote: »

Hi, I understand that as executors, we have responsibility to look after the assets. However, how can I and the other executor do this if the husband is not allowing us access to the property and is refusing to hand over my mother's personal belongings?

You do this by writing to him to warn him against intermeddling so that he does not become liable to the estate out of mistake/ignorance.

Dymphna60 · 19 June 2019 at 5:25PM

Just clarification so others can give their legal thoughts .
You and your siblings are the only executors ? Not her husband?
She has left you all of her estate? Her husband has been left nothing?

Tigsteroonie · 19 June 2019 at 6:50PM

Dymphna60 wrote: »

Just clarification so others can give their legal thoughts .
You and your siblings are the only executors ? Not her husband?
She has left you all of her estate? Her husband has been left nothing?

And to add a third question (for clarity) - this will was written after the second marriage took place?

Keep_pedalling · 19 June 2019 at 7:33PM

This is hard, and I think you need to cut him some slack. Yes you are grieving for your mother, but the loss of a spouse is one of the most traumatic things you are every likely to go through, and he may very well be reluctant to let go of things that have a personal connection to your with her some of which he may have bought her over the years

This is a purely a personal point of view but in your situation I would simply offer to let him keep what ever he wants and let me have the rest. This after all is just stuff, and the emotional cost of fighting over it is probably a lot higher than any monetary or sentimental value involved.

BigRedBus · 19 June 2019 at 8:32PM

At this stage, all I have asked for is her jewellery, which we need anyway to value for probate.

I have no intention whatsoever of stripping the house and taking household things, just personal items that belonged to my mother.

He had his cleaner clear out my mother's wardrobe, and everything, down to her underwear and slippers, was dumped at my doorstep in black bin bags! I'd have been quite happy for him to keep some items of clothing if he wished, but he refused to let me in the house to go through her clothes, and they were just put into bin bags. I hadn't even asked for her clothes yet! That is all that we've had so far, but really the most important thing is her jewellery.

Problem obtaining deceased's possessions

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