Finding right girl

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  • Gloomendoom
    Gloomendoom Posts: 16,550 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    GTR_King wrote: »
    Update I have started talking a girl (Match.com) (Think she is very good looking, someone I think is way too hot for me) since yerstday.

    I wouldn't let that put you off. You only have to look around to see that there are plenty of extremely good looking women paired up with ugly men. Women have different priorities when looking for a mate, apparently.

    I think there is/was whole website devoted to the phenomenon somewhere.
  • System
    System Posts: 178,093 Community Admin
    Photogenic Name Dropper First Post
    Your on a dating web site don't leave it too long.
  • sillygoose
    sillygoose Posts: 4,794 Forumite
    I wouldn't let that put you off. You only have to look around to see that there are plenty of extremely good looking women paired up with ugly men. Women have different priorities when looking for a mate, apparently.

    I think there is/was whole website devoted to the phenomenon somewhere.

    Is there a holding my hand up Emoticon? Wife gorgeous, me ugly as sin ...but I am very funny!

    Try not to 'keep score', attraction isn't a computer game.

    Counter to some comments, I wouldn't play it too cool, I mean don't turn into a stalker with a shrine in your cupboard to her, but how often do you hear women saying 'I just don't know, he doesn't really seem into me, I don't get much signs'

    Being excited and enthusiastic to talk and spend time with someone is a good thing. We all like to be 'attractive' in a whole person way not just physically.
    European for 3 weeks in August, the rest of the year only British and proud.
  • Your friends sound somewhat controlling maybe? It is a little odd that they are funny about you wanting to stay in. It is understandable that as you get older, you don't want to be going out to clubs every weekend. I suggest talking to them about this and try to get them to understand your point of view. Maybe they will compromise with you and start going to the cinemas etc. like you said. If after this chat, they are still funny about it, maybe it would be the right time to find some new friends? :)
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0 Newbie
    Holiday Haggler
    edited 10 October 2017 at 10:53AM
    My advice with the online dating is to take it offline as soon as possible - have a chat on the phone, make this 'real'.

    Online chatting isn't the same at all

    (Met my missus with an online dating site owned by match.com 12 years ago... We were on the phone the day after I first messaged her)
  • GTR_King
    GTR_King Posts: 1,794 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Name Dropper
    Thanks for advice, I suggested we talk via WhatsApp or I message, will see what she says... not replied yet
  • Ozzuk
    Ozzuk Posts: 1,884 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post
    As others have said, don't fall into the trap of messaging for ages and becoming a pen pal. She may be happy to talk to you, then someone better/more dynamic comes along and you are forgotten.

    You know from her profile what she is like, exchange a few messages to see if you appear on the same wavelength then its time to take a chance and validate it in person.

    I always tried to avoid coffee dates, can be really awkward. Try and do something fun, activity based dates can be awesome, and if it doesn't work out then at least you did something fun.

    I've done things like dog walking/fruit picking followed up with picnic. Always more relaxed on those types of dates.
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