Maintenance what does it cover

dadto2girls · 2 September 2018 at 3:54PM

Help needed....
I would like to know what is actually covered by my maintenance payments..
I have two girls one is 13 and 12, currently I don't actually get to take my eldest as she refuses to spend any time with me but she will talk to me but only in her home with her mother there, occasionally I get to take out my youngest child for a few hours on a Sunday and I do call them every other day... I've since been told I don't do enough to spend time with my kids but also explained that how am I to spend time with them if they refuse to want to spend time with them....
Anyhow..
The reason is because I have a private arrangement with my ex wife to pay x amount for my two girls but she has asked for extra money for school uniforms... Although she has already paid for them..
Also due to my saying so she has become abusive and threatening over WhatsApp to myself and my partner.
Where do I stand on both accounts

pmduk · 3 September 2018 at 7:59AM

Perhaps in paying for the school uniforms, she has been left short for other bills?

Perhaps you should check the child maintenance calculator on https://www.gov.uk to ensure you are paying a fair amount in the first place. If so, it's up to you whether you help with the uniforms, but it's not an unnecessary or frivolous expense.

As for contact with your daughters, I can't help, teenage girls' minds are unfathomable to men I'm afraid. I'd suggest not being too heavy-handed or insisting they do anything against their will. It will only backfire.

BAFE · 3 September 2018 at 8:58PM

If your ex wife is being abusive and threatening then that's a police matter.

Theres nothing you can do if your child refuses to see you and I don't think a court would force them to either.

Are you paying 20% of your income in child maintenance? This is the normal amount you would pay by going through the CMS.

Can you afford to pay for half the school uniform? If so, why not pay it?

Lucys_Da · 11 September 2018 at 4:21PM

20% are you having a laugh?? Where are you getting that figure from?

Just google CMS Payment calculator and it will come up straight away.

I am in a similar situation and follow the calculator and pay directly to my ex-wife without going through CMS. I don't tend to give her extra money for things like uniforms. I appreciate back to school is an expensive time but given I pay a substantial sum every month this needs to be budgeted for over the course of the year. I do give extra over for the likes of expensive clubs etc. (we just got a bill for £580 for my kids swimming lessons & associated memberships for the year) and I agreed rightly or wrongly to pay 50% of it. Likewise if there was a big school trip away I would probably agree to pay towards the cost of that. After those sorts of things I'd be pretty reluctant to fork out anymore over an above my monthly payments....

HoneyNutLoop · 12 September 2018 at 6:48PM

Lucys_Da wrote: »

20% are you having a laugh?? Where are you getting that figure from?

Just google CMS Payment calculator and it will come up straight away.

I am in a similar situation and follow the calculator and pay directly to my ex-wife without going through CMS. I don't tend to give her extra money for things like uniforms. I appreciate back to school is an expensive time but given I pay a substantial sum every month this needs to be budgeted for over the course of the year. I do give extra over for the likes of expensive clubs etc. (we just got a bill for £580 for my kids swimming lessons & associated memberships for the year) and I agreed rightly or wrongly to pay 50% of it. Likewise if there was a big school trip away I would probably agree to pay towards the cost of that. After those sorts of things I'd be pretty reluctant to fork out anymore over an above my monthly payments....

It used to be 20% of net pay for 2 children. The % changed when it became a gross pay scheme. Lots of people still quote the old % figures.

Maintenance what does it cover

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