Alzheimer's and "Wandering"

Mojisola · 8 May 2018 at 1:19PM

scaredofdebt wrote: »

We have booked a holiday abroad and will be getting carers in twice a day to keep an eye on her, mainly to make sure she is eating and drinking, do you think we should cancel the holiday?

I don't think you should cancel - respite breaks are essential for carers - but two visits a day might not be enough.

If you haven't got neighbours who would pop in or phone her each morning and evening to make sure she is okay, four visits might be better. You don't want to be worrying while you're on holiday that she's had another fall and it will be hours before anyone finds her.

It's also making an emergency plan with someone fairly close by who could handle things if something happens while you are away.

From experience - the more eventualities you've covered, the more relaxed you will be while you're away.

ifstar · 8 May 2018 at 1:42PM

Definitely buy a GPS tracking device as when folk with Alzheimer's go missing then it's very difficult for the police to find them and they often rely on a member of the public phoning in to report seeing someone in a strange place or not dressed appropriately. There was one chap up here who walked for over 20 miles. Keep it charged up, or have a spare battery or spare unit, particularly if she starts going through the night.

scaredofdebt · 8 May 2018 at 1:46PM

Thanks for the comments everyone, good to know people don't think we should be putting her into a home just yet.

Generally speaking mum isn't left on her own at all, my wife's job is mainly home based so it's only during the school run when she is on her own and then only for an hour or so. It's just if we decide to go out for the day or the holiday when she will be alone for a period of time.

We will get the tracker device, this looks quite good and will attach to the "alarm" that she wears on her wrist:

http://www.spottergps.uk/gps-tracker-dementia

We'll get carers in more often whilst we are away - mum never gets out of bed before midday and she never goes outside if it is cold, anything below about 20 degrees so if we have carers around midday for breakfast, 4pm for tea and then 8pm to make sure she is in the house that should cover it.

We can always alert the carers if she is out and about by checking the app/tracker and neighbours will keep an eye out and call round from time to time.

buildersdaughter · 8 May 2018 at 2:05PM

Sounds like you are looking after her well.
Who is she seeing for medical care? Ask them if they can refer you to a specialist nurse, and look on the Alzheimer's website for useful information.

Of course you don't want to upset people who are trying to be helpful, as you will need their help should your MiL be out and fall or become acutely confused. It can be very difficult for strangers' to know what to do. I wonder what your village is like generally. I would try to spread the word that MiL enjoys her walks, which help her remain active and engaged. You can thank them for taking an interest and maybe say that she enjoys chatting to the people she meets out and about. Then ask that they leave her to enjoy her usual route.
I think the mobile phone is a good idea, with your number programmed in, and a piece of paper saying the above - ask them to phone if she is 'off piste' or has any other problems.

Although I think a tracker can be useful, be aware of it limitations (and ditto mobiles) in our village there's no signal!

unholyangel · 8 May 2018 at 3:08PM

I was going to say about trackers (come in ranges of options, mobile phones, bracelets, necklaces etc) but plenty have already beaten me to it

Try and think what would suit best - does she always use the same jacket/bag? Remember you may not be there when she goes out so something she might leave behind won't be of much use.

Also, with regards to the neighbours...have you tried speaking to them? Telling them how it affects your mum and what the best way to handle her is? Perhaps also give them your phone number or email so they can contact you if they have any concerns?

And not to alarm you as everyone is different but I've seen a few people with alzheimers deteriorate very quickly. As I said, not trying to alarm, just to advise that its better to plan for how bad she could get (ie wandering) than waiting for signs shes worsening.

Mojisola · 8 May 2018 at 4:16PM

scaredofdebt wrote: »

My motherin law (92 years old) was diagnised with Alzheimer's 4-5 years ago and we moved in with her to look after her.

scaredofdebt wrote: »

Thanks for the comments everyone, good to know people don't think we should be putting her into a home just yet.

She sounds a long way from needing residential care now but you do need to accept that it may be needed in the future.

As you gave up your home to look after her, check out what your position would be if she needed care and was assessed as a self funder because she owns property.

margaretclare · 8 May 2018 at 4:41PM

scaredofdebt wrote: »

Yes I put quotes around the word wandering as I don't consider it like that, she is simply going for a slow walk down the village and back, stopping to look at things and chat to people. She can seem confused when she is chatting as obviously her memory is poor. It's some of the neighbours who seem to have the problem, but they don't know her or how the condition affects her.

Some neighbours do look out for her and are helpful, others will try to bring her back to the house which isn't always helpful as she sometimes doesn't want to come straight back home. She has lived in the village for 40 odds years so she knows a lot of people, it's relative newcomers who are less helpful.

We are aware that the condition deteriorates over time and she is assessed by social services/doctors on a regular basis and we know the time will come when she needs 24/7 care and we will then need to put her into a home, but I feel she is not ready for that yet.

She will go downhill quickly in a home as that is not an environment she will enjoy, so we want to delay that as long as we can so long as it is not causing problems.

Thanks.

The way Alzheimers or any dementia works is that the recent memories go first. So, as she's lived in the same area for 40 years, knows her way around etc, she can cope with it. And she sounds to be physically fit and able to walk, which is good for her, good for anyone!

Yes, in a home it will be all strange to her and she won't be able to learn her way around it.

Talk of 'putting' her in a home is not a very nice way to describe what may happen. She still has a will of her own and shouldn't be forced to do anything. Reminiscent of 'The Woman in White' - horrible.

MysteryMe · 8 May 2018 at 5:17PM

The OP and his wife are very clearly loving, responsible and respectful carers.

Other than indulging in some cheap guilt tripping what relevance does The Woman in White have to anything. Has the OP suggested they will be dragging their screaming MIL down the street to the nearest lunatic asylum?

margaretclare · 8 May 2018 at 5:53PM

I just think talking of 'putting' someone somewhere is not very nice. It's the idiom. You 'put' things into places - things, not people.

Primrose · 8 May 2018 at 8:53PM

I think you should go on holiday and not cancel your plans. Caring for somebody 24/7 is stressful and you need a break.

Certainly get a tracker - I don't know if there are any wrist ones which can be worn all the time, and get her used to wearing it.

It's probably doing her good to go for her little walks. Hopefully if she sticks to the same route it will help to reinforce her memory although there's no guarantee that this will happen. She could suddenly deteriorate quickly. Going into a respite home while you're away might relieve your concerns but my experience with somebody suffering from dementia/alkzeimers is that the moment you put them in an unfamiliar situation they can become very stressed and confused, not understand or forget why they're there and go downhill very quickly as a result.

Are there any relatives who could stay in the house while you're on holiday?

Alzheimer's and "Wandering"

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