Protecting wealth in case of divorce

74jax · 8 April 2018 at 9:01PM

Fireflyaway wrote: »

It doesn't seem romantic but divorce happens and if people saw it coming common sense says they wouldn't have married to begin with. We have life insurance and home insurance and car insurance......
Are we talking thousands or hundreds of thousands or millions? I'm pretty sure any wealth would be fully investigated so if it were me I'd take out cash and stash it away. Not very secure but prevents a paper trail.

I agree. When I got married - the first time - I never in a million years thought it would end how it did.

The fact hubby wanted a pre nup didn't bother me at all - I went in to the marriage, the same as the first, expecting it to last.

Tabbytabitha · 8 April 2018 at 9:06PM

74jax wrote: »

I agree. When I got married - the first time - I never in a million years thought it would end how it did.

The fact hubby wanted a pre nup didn't bother me at all - I went in to the marriage, the same as the first, expecting it to last.

You did, but it wasn't you who wanted the pre nup. (Not implying that your husnad wasn't sincere, just pointing out a non sequitur.)

74jax · 8 April 2018 at 9:15PM

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

You did, but it wasn't you who wanted the pre nup. (Not implying that your husnad wasn't sincere, just pointing out a non sequitur.)

Sorry, just got what you meant. Hhhmmmm ignore my point then. :rotfl:

Poor_Single_lady · 8 April 2018 at 9:31PM

Risk of being verbally hit. My dad gave me the deposit for my flat 4 years ago. I have 4 years of equity - roughly 60K.
Not to push the point but my dad worked hard for his family for 40 years to provide for his family. Not future ex-husbands.

Those against pre-nups think that this should be a shared asset within the marriage following through to divorce.

The thing Is (I find) a lot of single men in their 30s live with their parents and have no money. But have a lot to gain by marriage.
So I don't think that an exhusband should benefit by getting my Dads money and I Would very much want to ring fence this as mine in the event of divorce.

Nobody gets married planning for it not to work. But sometimes it doesn't.

You don't really need to look very hard to find news stories of people having been conned by their lovers. By its nature love makes us vulnerable. And home ownership can be very attractive paticually if it is out of your reach.

unholyangel · 8 April 2018 at 9:59PM

Pay_me wrote: »

I agree with the varying degrees of Grey. I accept that there are many varying situations leading to a variety of outcome. In general I would still question the mentality of anyone who would happily take an asset that that they had no hand in building up. Your scenario about 10 years living together with one mainly at home minding kids etc well that is a joint asset. My post was to some of the posters who seem to suggest that once you marry well thats it they are entitled to everything even if they had no hand in it. That doesn't fit well with me. I did in my second paragraph make reference to other scenarios.

Sorry I shouldve clarified what I meant. Theres never any issue if the couple are in agreement. But issues come around when things sour. How many times have we had threads on here where someone used to be quite happy being the breadwinner with their partner staying home to take care of that side of things but when it comes to splitting up, all of a sudden they don't think the partner should be entitled to anything because they're the one who earned the money that paid for it.

I can see both sides tbh. On one hand if you're not going to lose out, whats the incentive to make it work and if you really feel that way, why bother marrying at all. But on the other, why let others define what the rules of marriage should be for everyone.

System · 8 April 2018 at 11:02PM

All this talk of don't bother getting married then is just senseless. Imagine 1 of the couple have worked hard as a single person mortgage free, good investments and pension build up.

Get married to someone who has nothing.

Why should the 1st person risk losing half of everything they built up if it doesn't work out.

We live in a real world. My cousin had a house and in good faith put his gf name on it. All she contributed to were bills. In the end relationship over and he had to pay her 40k. I don't know the exact ins and outs but let's just say he was an idiot. All the hard work and mortgage payments for nothing.

FBaby · 9 April 2018 at 6:52AM

The issue is not with wanting to protect one's assets (although poorsinglelady, I find expecting inheritance from parents as tasteless), everyone is entitled to want to do that, and like seven-day-weekend, if something happened to my OH, I wouldn't want another man to benefit from what he worked hard to earn. I would therefore just not marry again, end of, not because that's the only way to avoid the issue but because I would feel that the fact I wouldn't want the above would mean I wouldn't be totally committed to my new partner and therefore marriage would not be right for us.

You can still have a happy relationship with someone without being married to them as long as both are on the same understanding as to why marriage is not an option.

seven-day-weekend · 9 April 2018 at 7:19AM

FBaby wrote: »

The issue is not with wanting to protect one's assets (although poorsinglelady, I find expecting inheritance from parents as tasteless), everyone is entitled to want to do that, and like seven-day-weekend, if something happened to my OH, I wouldn't want another man to benefit from what he worked hard to earn. I would therefore just not marry again, end of, not because that's the only way to avoid the issue but because I would feel that the fact I wouldn't want the above would mean I wouldn't be totally committed to my new partner and therefore marriage would not be right for us.

You can still have a happy relationship with someone without being married to them as long as both are on the same understanding as to why marriage is not an option.

That is really how I feel too, but was just thinking what I'd do if I ever did want to marry.

I don't think I would even want to live with someone, other than platonic friends.

pollypenny · 9 April 2018 at 8:08AM

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I have been happily married for nearly 47 years and hope to be for many more.

If I were to find myself widowed (which heaven forbid), I wouldn't want to marry again. If however I ever considered it, I would want my house and other assets that my husband and I had built up together, to go to our son, not to someone else, and then possibly his children.

I would probably give them to my son before I got married. Therefore at the time of marriage they would not be my assets. I would expect any man I might be considering marrying to do the same.

We have written wills each leaving our assets, including half the house, in trust so this can never happen.

I would not marry again, though.

Poor_Single_lady · 9 April 2018 at 8:12AM

I didn't mention inheritance.

I was referring specifically to the money my dad gave me to buy my flat. If my parents leave their house to the dogs home - that's up the them and as I have said previously I am at peace with that.

Protecting wealth in case of divorce

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