Who pays for what when care is needed?

My Mother is terminally ill and been told we are looking at months, she is end stage heart and renal failure, with other associated problems. I have been having problems with Social Services and the financial assessment in particular. At first it was nil then because she got higher rate AA from lower rate, the council took the lot from her. They refused almost every DRE we had put forward in order to maximise what they could take in my opinion.

I am on UC & PIP myself but do as much as I can, I deal with everything bills, money, prescriptions etc etc. I also do all her shopping, she eats mostly fresh things now and dairy so it needs getting usually 3 times a week. My Mother gives me £20 a week to cover all the petrol I use, without that I wouldn't be able to do the things for her as I can't afford the petrol.

So I asked for this to be allowed as a DRE, they refused and said that she had to pay that out of her money, that is what the Minimum Income Guarantee was there to cover.

As I understood it a DRE was a cost incurred as a direct result of a persons disability, therefore as she cannot go to the shops herself, the costs involved to do her shopping are surely a DRE?

If she asked for more time in her care package so the carers did it, would she have to pay for that herself? She cannot do it herself because she is housebound and can only be taken out in a wheelchair, so any costs incurred should be a DRE?

If she wanted to go into town and be taken in a wheelchair and we asked for that to be put into her care package for an hour each week, would she be expected to pay for that herself? Or would it be covered by the Council?

If she paid for her shopping to be done it would need 3 to 4 hours a week, so from what I have found out that would cost her £45 to £60 a week based on £15 an hour for a carer. Surely she cannot be expected to have to pay that out of her MIG? It would leave her £129 a week, if she then asked to be taken out once a week another £15 at least would go.

So after her shopping being done and been taken out once a week for 1 hour she would have £114 left to live off, pay her bills, buy her clothes, and eat. Surely that cannot be right in this day and age!

I am in the process of appealing against the financial assessment so any help or advice would be appreciated. Particularly around the Disability Related Expenses. Which reminds me, we got a table top dishwasher for her last year as she couldn't manage to stand or sit to do her washing up anymore. The Council have also refused to allow the cost of that as a DRE because they said the Carers can do it now! Even though at the time she did not have any Carers.

Thanks in advance