Council want to move aunt to a cheaper care home after 4 years!
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The OP's aunt has funded her own care, including selling off her house to pay care home fees.She sounds like one of the lucky ones.. so many elderly can't afford to pay for care. Shame her money wasn't put to use on your eduction "plenty of", not "plenty off".
Charming.
It's a great system isn't it? We pay tax when we earn money, pay tax when we spend it, and pay a third lot of tax when we inherit anything (which has already been taxed twice)- and if you earn above £60k or a certain amount (which is barely enough for a family to live on in some areas), you can pay over 50% tax including student loan repayments- all this tax is meant to fund things like healthcare, yet when we get old and actually need to use this healthcare, the government makes us sell our homes to fund it & then puts us in a rubbish place. Welcome to the U of K.
Here's a novel idea, why don't you do what almost all civilised countries & cultures around the world do and look after her yourselves? She's your family, right? Wouldn't you want to be looked after by people you love when you get old? What about your parents? They looked after you when you were a child- wouldn't you want to look after them when they need it? Aren't you ashamed for letting her go to a care home & selling her home to pay for it? I know this is Great British cold culture but why not stop and actually think about it for a minute.
Save your nastiness for those people who post on here wanting to get out of paying any sort of care home fees for their parents by transferring homes, hiding money etc so they can protect their 'inheritance'.
There are plenty of those people to have a go at.
Water8aby - ignore that post.
It's nasty and uncalled for.
I hope you find a home for your Aunt that's affordable and she settles in well.0 -
Frankly no! The very last thing I would want is to have my son have to wipe my backside for me. I may have done it for him but at least he didn't have to think about it before it happened.
I wouldn't either. I would much rather professional carers did this for me than my loved ones. I want still to be able to have a normal relationship with them as wife, mother, friend. I don't want the relationship to be that of carer/cared for.(AKA HRH_MUngo)
Member #10 of £2 savers club
Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton0 -
margaretclare wrote: »No, nor would I.
I am a lot closer to that possibility (in my 9th decade now) than are many people - | would guess - who post here.
Actually there are few who would, or could even if they would. Most of our near relatives are at the other end of the country. Maybe a couple of generations ago people lived round the corner from each other, as in Catherine Cookson's 'The Fifteen Streets'. That lifestyle has gone.
The 'civilised cultures' around the world may still have granny and grandad living in the same village, or in the next street, from auntie and uncle, or married sons and daughters-in-law. I think that, if that still happens, it is now a rarity. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Are you in your 90s?
My friend was on a 40 minute uber taxi across London, driven by an iranian who asked him about his life, and when he discovered his uncle was unwell in a care home, the taxi driver berated him for the next 35 minutes about how barbaric english culture is, and how ashamed he should be for not quitting his job & moving to the area his uncle lives to take care of him, and for not forcing the uncle to move into his home in London and quitting his job to take care of him. Toward the end of this 35 minute dressing down, the iranian taxi driver said "ARE YOU OK? YOU SEEM STRESSED!"
I understand your sentiments, but I also think there's room for a more warm culture in the UK. Somewhere in between would be nice.0 -
Save your nastiness for those people who post on here wanting to get out of paying any sort of care home fees for their parents by transferring homes, hiding money etc so they can protect their 'inheritance'.
There are plenty of those people to have a go at.
Water8aby - ignore that post.
It's nasty and uncalled for.
Interesting isn't it how when people are nasty to some on this forum, no one ever came to their defence- yet after years of it, when one of them finally starts questioning others, you're quick to defend, Pollycat.
Might I suggest that if people like you were there for everyone equally, then no one would be questioned like this in the first place. The people who deserve your sympathy the most are not always the most obvious, and if you were truly caring, you'd realise that.0 -
Are you in your 90s?
My friend was on a 40 minute uber taxi across London, driven by an iranian who asked him about his life, and when he discovered his uncle was unwell in a care home, the taxi driver berated him for the next 35 minutes about how barbaric english culture is, and how ashamed he should be for not quitting his job & moving to the area his uncle lives to take care of him, and for not forcing the uncle to move into his home in London and quitting his job to take care of him. Toward the end of this 35 minute dressing down, the iranian taxi driver said "ARE YOU OK? YOU SEEM STRESSED!"
I understand your sentiments, but I also think there's room for a more warm culture in the UK. Somewhere in between would be nice.
I hope he didn't give that driver a tip? :rotfl:"A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members." ~ Mahatma Gandhi
Ride hard or stay home :iloveyou:0 -
I haven't visited it yet, but I have heard that it isn't very nice.
Is there anything we can do to stop the council moving my aunt or is it a case of tough luck now she is out of money to pay for herself, and we cannot afford the top up? I really am pulling my hair out about this now so if anyone can suggest anything that would be great.
The Council will pay a fixed amount to a number of homes in the county - and they will have a list of all the homes they have people in. You should be able to get a list of all the homes from social services - then you can phone round them all to go and have a look round... and you might be able to suggest 1-3 of them that you'd prefer. Of course, they do then need to have a vacancy at one of those homes to enable the move to go ahead, but if you try to stand firm and say "Here's a list of homes you can move her to - here's the list I wouldn't put my enemy's dog into"
I picked one for my mum from that list - even though we were paying for her care home .... because I knew that if the money ran out I'd stand a good chance of her being able to stay there as half the residents were council funded and half private (private cost us about £100/week more than the Council paid the home, which is always annoying).
You can't "stop the Council moving her" - what is actually happening is the private home is evicting her and the Council are being good enough to fund her in another home where they have a contract/beds paid for under a fixed fee. If you were wealthy enough to pay the difference each week the home wouldn't evict her. The long and short of it is "The bill is £X/week. The home don't care who pays it, but somebody has to. The Council are prepared to top up your payments to the full amount, but they cap their amount to £Y". You won't shift them on that, even if it were a £50/week difference the Council'd not bend as they can't.0 -
I guess in your defence you missed the fact that the OP is a newbie...Interesting isn't it how when people are nasty to some on this forum, no one ever came to their defence- yet after years of it, when one of them finally starts questioning others, you're quick to defend, Pollycat.
Might I suggest that if people like you were there for everyone equally, then no one would be questioned like this in the first place. The people who deserve your sympathy the most are not always the most obvious, and if you were truly caring, you'd realise that.
Might I suggest that you bear that in mind next time you want to have a go at someone simply asking a question.
I defended the OP because - imho - your response was unnecessarily harsh.
It is not for you to decide who deserves my - or any other poster's - sympathy.0 -
He's on a bit of a roll if you look at the posting history. Probably not worth going there.All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.
Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.0 -
Are you in your 90s?
My friend was on a 40 minute uber taxi across London, driven by an iranian who asked him about his life, and when he discovered his uncle was unwell in a care home, the taxi driver berated him for the next 35 minutes about how barbaric english culture is, and how ashamed he should be for not quitting his job & moving to the area his uncle lives to take care of him, and for not forcing the uncle to move into his home in London and quitting his job to take care of him. Toward the end of this 35 minute dressing down, the iranian taxi driver said "ARE YOU OK? YOU SEEM STRESSED!"
I understand your sentiments, but I also think there's room for a more warm culture in the UK. Somewhere in between would be nice.
No, I said I'm in my 9th decade, that means my 80s.
I think I would have asked the driver to stop so I could get out if that had happened to me. I don't take Uber taxis anyway - black cabs are fine, if I ever need a taxi ride in London ever again. I would not allow a foreigner to berate me like that. It is none of his damned business. If our English culture is so barbaric, what the hell is he doing here? Don't tell me Iranian culture is all that 'warm', to use your words. Maybe it's one of those 'cultures' where it's all done by the daughters-in-law.
I have just sent my eldest granddaughter a deposit for her mortgage, to exercise her right to buy her council house. Is that 'warm' enough for you?[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Æ[/FONT]r ic wisdom funde, [FONT=Times New Roman, serif]æ[/FONT]r wear[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]ð[/FONT] ic eald.
Before I found wisdom, I became old.0
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