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    • shaggydoo
    • By shaggydoo 8th Apr 19, 7:52 AM
    • 7,943Posts
    • 58,969Thanks
    shaggydoo
    Giving up/ Cutting Down Alcohol Thread Part 16
    • #1
    • 8th Apr 19, 7:52 AM
    Giving up/ Cutting Down Alcohol Thread Part 16 8th Apr 19 at 7:52 AM
    Welcome. Here we are again, time for a new thread, new starts and new challenges.

    Let's take a trip down memory lane and remind ourselves of In Search Of Me's (ISOM) original post in Part 1:

    24th February 2008

    Quote:
    In Search Of Me "There are a few of us who want to give up/cut down & I thought it would be good to widen the net to support each other along the way!
    For me alch & feeling good for the time I'm drinking & then rubbish after go hand in hand. A bit like drinking & smoking & drinking & getting the munchies! Last year I gave up alch & fags for 10 months & then "slipped" towards Christmas until by Jan I was doing both with alarming regularity. I dread to think how much both cost me financially and I know physically that I've felt rubbish. My lungs hurt, have put on weight & literally none of my clothes fit so I will have to buy more - which means a dent in my budget that I can ill afford. My skin is also yukky & much nicer when I dont drink/smoke!
    I had my last ciggies the night before last & last wine on Tues. I know I will feel 100% better when I crack it but also know it will be hard. One disadvantage here is that all too often DFW "parties" tend to involve alcohol so I'm also hoping that this can possibly be a safe haven for those of us who want, or need, to abstain, for now at least!
    Anway - I hope that this can be a place of real support for people who are sturggling. I do wonder whether there is a link between debt & drinking as from the Jan thread it was obvious that so many struggle to give up! Plus I know for me that I feel much hapier and in control when I dont drink (or drink in moderation) - which of course begs the question "why do I do it?"! Anyway, I do but will now try not t ad hope some of you wil join in. Some days I know I wil fail, just as I do with my debt free journey and I am more than happy to be given a swift (but nice!) kicking when I do! Hugs all and dare I say... but this time with water!!
    And here's what she started!!! :


    Part 14 and 15 is Here

    Part 13 is Here

    Part 12 is HERE

    Part 11 is HERE

    Part 10 is HERE

    Part 9 is HERE

    Part 8 is HERE

    Part 7 is HERE

    Part 6 is HERE

    Part 5 is HERE

    Part 4 is HERE

    Part 3 is HERE

    Part 2 is HERE

    and the original starting thread is HERE

    Here is a post from back on thread 1 or 2.

    Springwatch Girl Well, week 5 of no alcohol and I see a different person in the mirror. My eyes no longer look dull and vacant, they actually have a little sparkle and my skin doesn't look like uncooked pastry anymore. I feel that I have won a battle but not yet the war. Hope everyone else is at the point they want to be, I never want to be that person I was, I have been tempted but I just think back to what I had become. The sun is shining at the moment and I feel good and want to continue to have the sun in my life"
    Good Luck Everyone!

    Shaggyx
    Last edited by shaggydoo; 08-04-2019 at 8:03 AM.
    What do we do when we fall? We get up, dust ourselves off and start walking in the right direction again. Perhaps when we fall, it is easy to forget there are people along the way who help us stand and walk with us as we get back on track.
Page 68
    • maman
    • By maman 16th Aug 19, 9:05 AM
    • 20,215 Posts
    • 120,503 Thanks
    maman
    I donít have any answers other than to say I have found posting on this thread really helpful and surprisingly effective as a motivation, it really matters for some reason being able to come on and post up a good total or a target reached, and some of the posts are an inspiration. Of course, thereís no way of knowing if the totals people put up are genuine, but somehow I just feel that they are if that makes sense?
    Originally posted by Season of Mist
    I think they are too. It's strange but this thread, although very supportive and good natured, has an inbuilt sense of accountability. Certainly, for me, I'd feel I'd be letting the thread down (as well as myself of course) if I posted an AF day that wasn't genuine. If I had a 's*d it' moment then I'd post that too and revise my total. I don't think I'm alone in that view. .

    J....but very quickly the routine itself becomes the justification; ďItís Friday night so of course Iím going to have a drinkĒ sort of thing.
    Originally posted by Season of Mist
    I've got myself into that mindset. It's progress because I used to feel like that every night of the week. I'm not yet ready to call in early on a Friday but I'm working on it.
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 16th Aug 19, 9:16 AM
    • 3,940 Posts
    • 16,708 Thanks
    cathybird
    It's strange but this thread, although very supportive and good natured, has an inbuilt sense of accountability. Certainly, for me, I'd feel I'd be letting the thread down (as well as myself of course) if I posted an AF day that wasn't genuine. If I had a 's*d it' moment then I'd post that too and revise my total. I don't think I'm alone in that view.
    Originally posted by maman

    Agreed absolutely maman - I would never dream of posting a fake AFD, it would ruin everything. I do sometimes change my mind about an AFD, nothing wrong with that, but I post and say so. The accountability is hugely important and posting every single AFD is important (to me).
    15 in Save 12K: £6,327.35/£12K. ANSDs: 6/10 Tilly: £1,820.94
    August AFDs: 14/21 2019 AFDs: 197/260 2018: 303/260
    • Arkers
    • By Arkers 16th Aug 19, 10:36 AM
    • 913 Posts
    • 7,007 Thanks
    Arkers
    Good morning everyone,
    14 please Shaggy
    Woohoo, back at the gym. Did a sort of body attack class, then leisurely swim and then sat in the steam room. It was total and absolute bliss. Gym is very important to me, and I've missed not being able to work out. Another box ticked in my ongoing recovery.
    I'm seriously thinking of not drinking tonight it's in the balance.

    Happy Friday everyone.

    Arkers x
    Last edited by Arkers; Yesterday at 2:40 PM.
    • AnnieG
    • By AnnieG 16th Aug 19, 1:55 PM
    • 756 Posts
    • 5,479 Thanks
    AnnieG
    Arkers that's great news, I'm glad you enjoyed your gym session.

    12/18 today for me, really happy with my progress this month.
    Say what you mean.. mean what you say... without being mean.
    • Wanna Bee Free
    • By Wanna Bee Free 16th Aug 19, 3:57 PM
    • 1,426 Posts
    • 12,964 Thanks
    Wanna Bee Free
    6/16 for me for last night and the night before please Shaggy.
    Save 12K in 2019 #12 - £7,500/£12,000
    Cutting Down Alcohol: 62/150 A7|J3|J5|M10|A13|M10|F6|J8
    2018:86|2017:106|2016:83
    • rosy10
    • By rosy10 16th Aug 19, 5:15 PM
    • 116 Posts
    • 662 Thanks
    rosy10
    good to hear that you are back into your gym routine, Arkers!

    13/TF, please Shaggy. I hope that you are having more sun on your holiday than I've had today - it's chucking it down.
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 16th Aug 19, 7:21 PM
    • 3,940 Posts
    • 16,708 Thanks
    cathybird
    It is chucking it down, and in fact August so far has been fairly windy and damp. I was just thinking though that I don't mind this sort of weather! As long as I'm indoors
    15 in Save 12K: £6,327.35/£12K. ANSDs: 6/10 Tilly: £1,820.94
    August AFDs: 14/21 2019 AFDs: 197/260 2018: 303/260
    • maman
    • By maman 16th Aug 19, 7:41 PM
    • 20,215 Posts
    • 120,503 Thanks
    maman
    It is chucking it down, and in fact August so far has been fairly windy and damp. I was just thinking though that I don't mind this sort of weather! As long as I'm indoors
    Originally posted by cathybird
    I hate it when the weather's poor in summer. I feel so cheated.

    I'm having another AF Friday. Much easier today, just the odd twinge. Once I've had dinner I know I'm over it.

    11/10 AFDs please Shaggy
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 16th Aug 19, 7:51 PM
    • 3,940 Posts
    • 16,708 Thanks
    cathybird
    I hate it when the weather's poor in summer. I feel so cheated.
    Originally posted by maman

    I know what you mean maman but it always is Normally it's June which chucks it down and August is dry but this year it seems to have been the other way around, unless June was wet as well - I can't remember.


    Heigh ho. Quite often there's an Indian summer in September and October and the weather is lovely. Let's hope!
    15 in Save 12K: £6,327.35/£12K. ANSDs: 6/10 Tilly: £1,820.94
    August AFDs: 14/21 2019 AFDs: 197/260 2018: 303/260
    • Wanna Bee Free
    • By Wanna Bee Free 17th Aug 19, 8:00 AM
    • 1,426 Posts
    • 12,964 Thanks
    Wanna Bee Free
    7/16 for me for last night please Shaggy.
    Save 12K in 2019 #12 - £7,500/£12,000
    Cutting Down Alcohol: 62/150 A7|J3|J5|M10|A13|M10|F6|J8
    2018:86|2017:106|2016:83
    • marahouti
    • By marahouti 17th Aug 19, 8:08 AM
    • 114 Posts
    • 887 Thanks
    marahouti
    An unplanned meet up with an old work colleague meant yesterday was not AF. We shared half a bottle of wine, had a nice chat and then I went home and had a cup of tea. A successful (IYKWIM) drinking day. Today is a planned drinking day as I am having a day at the races so I will check in on Sunday. Have a good day everyone. X
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 17th Aug 19, 9:42 AM
    • 3,940 Posts
    • 16,708 Thanks
    cathybird
    Morning all, not an AFD for me today either as I've got a kid's birthday party, which is bound to be boozy (as in the parents and their friends, I mean ). Am once again hoping to not overdo it. It's an afternoon thing, that should help.

    marahouti, enjoy the races!
    15 in Save 12K: £6,327.35/£12K. ANSDs: 6/10 Tilly: £1,820.94
    August AFDs: 14/21 2019 AFDs: 197/260 2018: 303/260
    • thrifty-hayley
    • By thrifty-hayley 17th Aug 19, 9:56 AM
    • 107 Posts
    • 376 Thanks
    thrifty-hayley
    5/10 for me so far please Shaggy. I know its not much but its more AFDs than I've had in a month for a long time. I've just got into the habit of having a glass (or quite often 2) of wine after a long day because "I deserve it" but its got to the point where I was doing it out of routine rather than actual enjoyment if that makes sense? Either way I know my health and bank balance will thank me if I cut down so I'll try my best
    July Grocery challenge £32.72/£90
    Emergency fund: £502/£1000
    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 17th Aug 19, 10:58 AM
    • 5,790 Posts
    • 56,726 Thanks
    Honey Bear
    Lovely news Arkers.

    If people post untrue totals Season of Mist, I'm not sure what they gain! It never occurred to me that people wouldn't be honest about it.

    Cathy Bird and Pollyanna - if I hadn't taken it one day, one hour and sometimes one minute at a time I'd still be drinking. They say cravings peak after 20 minutes but I'm not sure who 'They' are or whether it's true. All that mattered to me was I knew they passed and if I could resist just this time it would all be okay.

    3 Cats Sooz, that sounds like an excellent plan. No apologies needed; if new people didn't join we'd get very stale very quickly. Long posts are fine by me; some of mine are incredibly long but no-one forces anyone to read anything. As often as not I've been thinking out loud when I type and I post because in effect this is my AF diary. And jolly useful to me it's been, too, because sometimes I forget how things were.
    I suspect that those of us who tip over from being a purely social or moderate drinker into something that causes us concern do it in the same way that you did. Booze is really, really good at relaxing people very fast, and if you enjoy the taste of a particular tipple, once relaxed why shouldn't anyone have a second drink.

    If I'd stuck to following the best bit of advice I've ever heard about drinking when I didn't really drink at all, just the occasional glass of wine with a meal when out, my drinking wouldn't have become a bit of a problem. What an extremely wise friend once said to me was, 'Only drink when you're happy. The problems start when people drink when they're not happy.' He was absolutely right, too.

    My drinking tipped over from being a bit of a habit that tipped over into excess sometimes to problematic binging when I went through a very stressful time. The longer the stress continued, the longer the boozing to switch off in the evenings, until the day came when I'd booted the stress out of my life once and for all (which took years) but the drinking carried on. And on. You can guess the rest.

    Mostly, booze is just a habit. Breaking the habit is just as hard as stopping smoking for some people, easier for others, because they're both addictive drugs and they're our go-to for stress-busting. New habits aren't that hard to acquire - jigsaw puzzles cost about £1 or £1.50 from a charity shop and require concentration that can be refocussed really quickly - corners, edges, all the faces/reds/blues/yellows or whatever etc and bingo! The danger of the first glass of wine time bypassed, even if it's only for one evening because you were absorbed by it and it gave you something to do with your hands. It's mentally active rather than watching TV which is passive and for me was an incredibly dangerous part of the day each day I wanted not to drink.

    I absolutely do not advocate going totally alcohol-free to anyone who is concerned that they might not be up to it, or that doesn't know in their bones that carrying on will cost them everything. Great for people who do want to, but not everyone does.

    It's a MUCH better idea to get a handle on the current situation and achieve the victories going from one bottle a day to two - three glasses a day, so that you can be proud of what you've achieved.

    And keep posting. It makes a huge difference.

    and here I am 8 months later - not perfect, but not too shabby. I have dropped over 2 stone,(which do have Shaggy as utter inspiration). I'm a not too tall lady of a certain age, and I thought, quite frankly, I'm making excuses - and I'm worth so much more - so yes, it is about liking - dare I say, loving yourself more.

    I don't drink every day anymore and it has been known for me to go a whole week - if not more without an alcoholic drink.

    because I'm worth it!
    Originally posted by rosy10
    Rosy, you'd be amazed at how many people join in January and disappear within a couple of weeks, or post any time of the year and then disappear! Still being around and taming the demon is a mark of how much you've achieved. Good on you.

    And you're right - we're all worth it!

    17/31 please, Shaggy. Have a lovely holiday.
    Last edited by Honey Bear; Today at 11:00 AM.
    Keeping it AF
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