Keeping Going For My Furbabies

Hi all, a few things to report -

Bad day again mentally Felt anxious all day and not sure why. I've done a couple more PA surveys which is good. Although my ebay got hacked last night, they stopped it before anything happened but I don't think that put me in a good mood to go to sleep.

I've spent a little bit today - £1.99 on eye makeup remover, but I put £15 in a makeup/toiletry fund so that's covered, and £14.85 in Aldi for the weekly shop. They didn't have celery or courgette so going to get them tomorrow at my local Sainsburys.

I'm going to make a lentil soup tomorrow in the slow cooker for work lunches, actually really excited about it, my first ever soup :rotfl:

My pain is very bad again, need to work out what's flaring it. I went to the osteopath (I got every 4-6 weeks), my mum is covering the cost of that atm which I'm grateful for :A

Need to do a few beauty things for the work xmas do on Thursday, like painting my toenails *sigh* first world problems!

Dinner was salmon and cous cous, my mum very kindly treated me to salmon late last week, I won't be buying it myself for the foreseeable just to keep costs as low as possible.

Tahlullah.H wrote: »

Mum sounds great!

She really is, she's always been supportive and helped where she can, but she's been especially supportive since my ex left.

I'm going to update now as I'm not sure I will later - sold another dress on ebay last night, I bought it for a fiver off there a few weeks ago but didn't work out, I sold it for £9 :rotfl: not loads but enough. Packed it last night and will send today. Also did another PA survey this morning.

Annoying I'm paying interest on my cc even though I signed up for it a few months ago to do a balance transfer to be 0%...it's £1.15 this month which isn't loads but can't work out why I'm paying it in the first place. Will have to have a look.

Should be a NSD, and dinner will probably be spinach and ricotta tortellini with pesto. For lunch brought a baked potato and cheese, and some popcorn from aldi.

Still feeling really really anxious...another horrible dream and woke up feeling on the edge of a panic attack. I did some "emergency calm" meditation and took some rescue remedy, helped a bit but I still feel tight in my chest and on the verge. Not sure I want to go to the xmas party tomorrow feeling the way I do My pain is also still very bad today, so having to take strong painkillers which I don't like to do. Will try and take it easy tonight with some yoga, and chill with the furbabies (cat2 went mad with a library book on Monday night!! He's never gone for books before but he took a particular disliking to this one. It's been "fixed" so hopefully they won't notice, it's only on the first blurb page anyway).

Thanks astrocytic kitten, I'll give them a look. No idea what cat2's problem was, obviously doesn't like horror!

I spent £1.95 on veg last night, and £3.99 came out of my account for hayu on nowtv. I prepped the soup and put it in the slow cooker (tastes great and made 6 portions!) and did some yoga. Felt a bit better after yoga. Had a chill evening and went to bed.

Had to get up early today to vote before work as it's 10 mins walk in the opposite direction to work. On the walk from there to work I felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack. Had to stop several times and remind myself to breathe. Logged onto my GP's app and luckily they have an appointment tomorrow morning so I'm going to talk to them. Not sure what I want, but I know I need to get this under control as I can't afford to have time off work (don't get sickpay).

I've decided I won't go to the xmas party tonight - it's in the middle of nowhere, and no possibility of uber, so if I find it hard I won't be able to "escape" easily. Just not in the right frame of mind for it, although I'm really sad and it was a free meal if nothing else. I'll go home, do some gentle yoga and get an early night.

My porridge exploded in the microwave this morning which doesn't normally happen with the instant oats. It was a small annoyance but with the way I'm feeling I could've cried. Made a new bowl and was fine. It's in the morning's that I feel the worst, especially on the way to work. Once I'm here I'm ok.

Hi astrocytic kitten, your night sounds great! I didn't have FOMO either, I knew it was going to be hard with the way I'm feeling, also didn't want to be the party pooper sulking in the corner lol.

It's not very MSE but I got takeway last night cost me a tenner, I took the money out of a health fund I've got that I'm not using atm as my mum's helping with my osteopath appointment. I just felt so upset I didn't want to eat anything I had in the cupboard, and I really enjoyed the food so I'm not going to feel bad about it.

No spends today, and tomorrow should be a NSD - I'm going to go to yoga but still have 2 free lessons on my pass. Had arranged to see my dad and I know he's desperate to see me and I haven't seen him in a while but I need to let him know I can't come - it's a good 30/40 minute drive away, and I know the drive is going to be hell because traffic is a nightmare because of xmas. I just can't face the drive and it's emotionally taxing as well because of his stroke I often have to repeat myself and temper his mood as he's forgetful and prone to outbursts.

I'm enjoying my lentil soup, it's more like a lentil sauce than a soup but it's tasty and filling. Will use slightly less lentils and more liquid next time lol.

I went to the docs this morning and broke down as soon as I sat down, poor bloke didn't really know where to look! He's given me some tablets for 2 weeks to help with the anxiety symptoms, and I've got an appointment for 2 weeks to see how I'm getting on.

Hi lindens, thanks for your message, yes I am keeping that in mind. We had a joint fund for flat/cat stuff which is in my account.. I would think we should replace the oven, but will get advice from the estate agent first, and if we do need to then it would come out of the joint fund.