Should I spend money for my children’s private education or save money for them?

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  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229 Forumite
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    POPPYOSCAR wrote: »
    I used to think that.

    Did not work that way though and both our children could not wait to leave and go to college.

    I found the school concentrated on the high achievers and the stragglers.

    Those in the middle were left to get on with it.
    same as every school, private or state
  • POPPYOSCAR
    POPPYOSCAR Posts: 14,897 Forumite
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    Comms69 wrote: »
    same as every school, private or state

    From my experience of friends with children at private school and also my niece being a teacher in one, I disagree and not the case in the school we would have sent them to.

    If we had our time again we would send them to private school.
  • POPPYOSCAR
    POPPYOSCAR Posts: 14,897 Forumite
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    Comms69 wrote: »
    How strange, why do they say that?


    I've seen no evidence that going to private school increases your pay etc


    Not to do with pay but with the actual experience and ethos of the school.
  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229 Forumite
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    POPPYOSCAR wrote: »
    From my experience of friends with children at private school and also my niece being a teacher in one, I disagree and not the case in the school we would have sent them to.

    If we had our time again we would send them to private school.
    with experience as a pupil at private school (and one of the top in London) I found the experience largely no different than my children have now at state school


    anecdotal I accept that
  • tooldle
    tooldle Posts: 1,522 Forumite
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    Happy to share my perspective.
    I was moved to a private school at the age of 11 and on the recommendation of my then class teacher in middle school. The teacher had observed that I was becoming distracted. With a class of 30 plus pupils it was not possible to move things on at a speed to suit my abilities.

    I found private school to be an interesting and good experience. I was unable to join a lot of the extra ciricular activities as their simply was not the funds available to support these. I found my fellow pupils came from all kinds of backgrounds. Some very wealthy and others like me where the parents had sacrificed much to provide the opportunity.

    The real bonus is the class size. For some of my classes there were only three pupils,including me, in the class.

    Was it worth the money? Yes, I think so as I came at it from the perspective of this being my opportunity to break away from the expectation of low grade clerical or shop work.

    Only you know your children and their needs op.
  • andrewf75
    andrewf75 Posts: 10,421 Forumite
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    easy one for me. I am against private schools in principle. Better for kids to grow up surrounded by people from a range of backgrounds IMO - although I'm sure privately educated kids are more likely to be "successful"
  • goodwithsaving
    goodwithsaving Posts: 1,311 Forumite
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    edited 20 March 2019 at 6:42PM
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    rach_k wrote: »
    It's an easy decision for me as I think private schools are evil, allowing those who already have the most privileged lives to cocoon themselves away rather than share a little of their privilege with the riff raff. My children will go to non-selective state schools. We'll put our time and energy into those schools and they'll be fine. I firmly believe that parental involvement plays a huge part in a child's success at school.

    My husband went to a selective private school and so did most of his friends. Although most of them are thoroughly nice people, they've led sheltered lives in some regards and don't always have a good understanding of how 'normal' people live. I don't want that for my children, it would be a disadvantage.
    Evil is a strong word.
    • It's okay for your husband but not for your own children?
    • There is nothing wrong with being willing to fund what is best for your childif private school is the best thing for them
    • There is nothing wrong with being in a priviledged position if it is recognised and not taken forgranted. I wouldn't not send children to a private school simply because it may upset other people.
  • OldMusicGuy
    OldMusicGuy Posts: 1,758 Forumite
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    edited 20 March 2019 at 7:20PM
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    There are different types of private school and if you choose a non-boarding school, you could get away with less than £250K. Our son went to non-boarding private prep school and a selective non-boarding private school. The total cost of all those years based on the current price list for both schools would be around £155k.

    Like all schools, some private schools are good and some are bad. Our son went to a superb school and it absolutely transformed him, both academically and personally. It was the best decision we could ever have made and it was worth every penny. But the son of one of our friends was very poorly served by his private boarding school and I think they felt the money was wasted.
    rach_k wrote: »
    It's an easy decision for me as I think private schools are evil, allowing those who already have the most privileged lives to cocoon themselves away rather than share a little of their privilege with the riff raff.
    I think that may be a possible criticism of some of the elite boarding schools, but I don;t have experience of them. However, that certainly wasn't the case for us. Our son went to a private day school. He had to get public transport there every day, which meant mixing with the "riff raff" as you put it, and the school undertook a lot of activities with other schools in the area, both state and private. He came out of school very well grounded.

    The irony is that I had a similar education as my son for free. I went to a state grammar school, and my son's school used to be a selective state school (from 1944 on) but was purchased by parents and staff in 1977 to avoid becoming a comprehensive. The whole ethos was very similar to what I experienced at my state school. It focuses on academic achievement and creating well rounded individuals. I cannot praise it too highly.

    Hopefully there are some state schools that have similar levels of academic excellence but there aren't any in our area. We made the decision to send our son to this school as we felt it was the best option for him as he is a quiet, studious type. We aren't anything special but we decided it was worth the effort to send our son to private school.

    It does depend on the child and the school. We have friends with two kids. Both went to the local state school. One thrived and has done really well. The other struggled and was experiencing behavioural issues. They sent him to private school and he thrived there.
  • theoretica
    theoretica Posts: 12,305 Forumite
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    I went to a private school and it was right for me - but not just because of its private status; there were local private schools which would not have been. It was very academically selective and focused and smaller than the local state schools. My parents took me to see it and we all knew it was a place with people like me in mind.
    But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,
    Had the whole of their cash in his care.
    Lewis Carroll
  • Marvel1
    Marvel1 Posts: 7,172 Forumite
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    I believe you are either academic or your not - what school you attend makes no difference.
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